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okay, I am 21 and still a virgin. I have done other stuff just not had sex yet. The thing is I was almost raped by one of my ex boyfriends and I am kind of scared of guys now, not all but some of them. I feel really pathetice because I am still a virgin and I am 21. Plus my uncle has aids and that is another reason why I am scared. I don't have a bf right now but am looking for one. When I do find one and we have sex how can I make myself less scared to have sex? Is there anything I can do to calm myself down?
any help will be great, guys and girls
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Wow! It sounds like you've been through a lot, but you're trying to get over your fears, which is good. It's hard to take the next step. There's no reason to feel ashamed for being a virgin at 21. If you think about it, you could go find a drunk guy and do it right now, but you're not. This shows that you respect yourself and have good values. Obviously you are going to be a little bit nervous because of your personal experiences, but if you decide that you want to lose your virginity, you have to throw your fears aside. You are going to become a new person, a confident, sexy person who gets what she wants. This is going to sound stupid, but stand in front of a mirror naked and look at yourself. If guys are going to love you, first you have to love yourself. Buy clothes that make you look really good (not slutty) and put yourself out there. Be aggressive, assertive, and have a good time. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable, so love every second.
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Well...I for one am proud of you for keeping your virginity for so long. It's such a precious thing these days...you should be proud of it not embaressed. If you are scared, then maybe you arent ready. See, if you do get a boyfriend, then you will feel "ready" to have sex with him when you just feel comfortable. So when you do get the boyfriend, you'll know the time is right. Also, if you trust him when you have sex, then you wont be so scared. Dont worry about it...when you find the right guy, it will happen naturally! So dont do anything until you feel ready!
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hey, well if you are really scared and still nervous, then maybe your just not ready yet. Maybe wait a little longer and see if you are ready then.
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Don't feel pathetic at all! When you are in a good, healthy relationship it will be the right time. But always, always insist on having safe sex! Then you won't have to worry in case he turns out to be a jerk.
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The best thing to do is save it for marriage... that way you wont have to be worried about ne thing... you've waited this long because ur scared... u might as well wait till marriage
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If you're scared about getting STD's then when you find the right guy make him go get tested with you or something. Set your guard down and tell them that you are a virgin and if they respect you then they won't care. Tell him about your past experiences with your ex. You can also go to counseling if it's that bad.
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I so promise you aren't alone. My fiance is 37. So he's a late bloomer, but he's waiting. It's been difficult as the "not a virgin," but I got tired of being stuck with the absolute wrong guy. It isn't easy to keep it.
The best way to have sex is with someone you can totally trust. Whether that is in marriage or not. That means someone to help you take care of the possible child or sickness that happens if you have sex. Someone who is there after all the possible good and bad things. So I would strongly suggest waiting, and don't let it bother you so much.
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There are actually a lot more 21 year old virgins than you'd think. Wait until you find a guy you are completely and totally comfortable with, and then consider having sex. Make sure he knows about your past and that you use protection so that you can ease your worries about getting an STD. You might also want to see a therapist, because whether you were actually raped or not, it's still a rather traumatic experience and maybe he/she can help you out a little more.
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Hi.
Well sorry to hear about the past, but all I say you can do is when you find the boyfriend. Make sure you trust him 100% and then tell him your concerns.
He will understand i he loves you, not wants you for lust. I lost my virginity at 20! I am 21 now. But I done that through lust so make sure YOU are ready.
Hope this helps
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You are not pathetic. It's *easy* to lose your virginity... Find willing guy. Lay down. Spread legs. End of story.
[twirls finger in the air] "big whoop"
In this day and age, it's harder to keep your virginity. I don't understand why some people want to get rid of it as fast as they can, like it's a poisonous snake or something. The ones who are pathetic are the ones who follow along with the crowd because they think it's the thing to do.
My husband and I were both virgins until we were 26, on our wedding night. So you are not alone, it just sometimes seems that way.
If you find the right guy, and you know he is the One for you, I don't think you'll have too much of a problem. Sure, you'll be a little scared because it's a new experience, but if you have 'Mr. Right For You', I don't think you'll have to worry about being scared of him just because he is a guy. ;-)
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