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short back story, im in love with a friend. im 19m she is 18f
she talking to me, asking me on advice on whether or not she should break up with her boyfriend because she has feelings for another guy. what am i supposed to tell her? im generarly pretty good at giving advice in these sorts of situations but im worried anything that comes out of my mouth, or rather keyboard, will be serving my best intrest and not hers, and im not even sure how to do that. i just told her to see how things work out with her current bf and not to rush anything. any better advice i could give her?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Just ask her... "Who do you like more?" And tell her to really think about it... who makes her happier...
She'll get the answer she needs soon enough.
good luck.
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I hate to say this, but she has already put you in the "friend" category. And as far as I know no male has EVER managed to break out of that category, once a female has placed him in it. It's the black hole of relationship-potential.
For your own self-protection, you need to detach yourself from her. Every minute you spend dealing with her is just going to hurt you more and more, and unless you're into masochism, it's not worth it. Cut the cord, or seriously loosen it, and get some distance to give yourself the time you need to get over her.
Eventually you'll find a girl who's interested in YOU. And she can ask HER unrequited platonic male friend for advice about her relationship with you.
Honestly, I don't know why women do this. It's like they're all subconsciously sadists - they pick out "nice guys" who they think of as a "brother" or best friend, and then spill their whole soap-opera love lives on them. It's sheer torture.
Don't put up with it. And don't worry about giving her the best advice. Just be noncommittal and get as much distance from her as you can.
Which, by the way, is the only POSSIBLE way I can imagine to have even the slightest chance of moving out the the "friends" category - if she feels you pulling away, there's a TINY chance that she'll reassess you. But I really, really wouldn't count on that. The odds are that she's a lost cause.
I'm sorry. Since you're in love with her, I know that this won't mean a lot to you, but believe me: in time, you'll certainly find the right girl for you.
Good luck!
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If she likes someone else, then there's really no need for her to stay with her boyfriend. Breaking up with him will be hard, but breakups are unfortunately inevitable. If she stays with him, she won't be happy, and as nice of her it would be to stay with him to spare his feelings, it's her life and she shouldn't just stay with him to make him happy. The relationship cannot work if one party has lost their feelings for the other and will be doomed to fail in the end anyway, so tell her it's probably better she ends it now rather than on a bitter note.
I'm sorry that it's not you that she likes. But in the future, anything could happen. Feelings may develop, especially if you stick by her and give her good advice.
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If I were you I would take this oppurtunity to tell her that you like her. Perhaps the other boy she has feelings for is you. You could say, "I want to give advice to you on what to do...but I'm afraid anything I say wouldn't help." and she would probably say why? and then you could say, "because I like you." just an idea...:)
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