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No Friends . . . . .
Hey.. I'm a sophomore in high school, I go to an all girls school in Missouri. I came to high school without any friends from grammar school really.. I had no close friends of which I hung out with. I came into high school and met a ton of people.. but all of freshman year I never went out on a friday night. Now, I just started sophomore year and I'm making a real effort to talk to people and try to make friends but it's not working. I'm in honors classes and it just seems like a lot of the girls in the class are not like me at all. I try to be social and make friends but no one seems to wanna hang out wiht me. I'm also just a totally different person at school than the person I am at home. I am really funny and loud at home and at school I'm quite. I'm shy sometimes too. I think people get the wrong impression of me. I just really want this to work. The girls in my honors classes are "loserish" I guess you could say, and the other girls drink, and I don't drink (alcohol). I feel in the middle.Theirs a sophomore dance in february and I want a group of friends by than so that I can meet some guys through them to go to the dance with. It's really depressing and upsetting. I know that most of you will probably say that I should get to know people, and introduce myself, and I am. I am in class with basically the same girls I was freshman year. If no one could give me advice, and encouraging story would be good. Is there any of you that were in my situation and found a group of friends? please help! <3
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Hi,
I noticed something the others did not and I will be
straight up as I had the problem too. You said you were loud--that's something people get turned off by. Turn down the volume on what you have to say and
do not be the one to pounce or interrupt. Practice listening when in groups at school or around people you like rather than talking. They like this. To interject wait until the person who just spoke finishes and say I have a point I want to make if I can. Then take the floor and be brief.
Your problem like most people with this issue is what you want being what you need but has to come naturally. You cannot push people or make them like you or gain friends like that. It must be natural and any pushing of potential friends backfires.
Invite people you like to a movie. Again the loud issue find a medium between quiet and loud and use it. Let's be honest do you have issues with social skills or manners being misinturrpreted? Work with a parent on that and ask straight up why do they not like me? You need real answers to fix things. Do not ever tell yourself you are too shy or loserish BS is what that is and self-deafeating thinking--STOP IT-- or you will sabatoge yourself.
Finally, February is eons away right now so focus on now by February you may have a world of different things to enjoy or not based on your thinking and perception of self. Do you value you? Will others value you? If you cannot do this for your ownself how can others LOVE you back?
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Hey!!
Well, I can sort of give you some advice, & I can give you my story, maybe it'll make you feel a little better knowing that I'm in your shoes.
Well, I'm a sophmore & I just moved to Texas from Pennsylvania about three weeks ago. I've NEVER moved before, and I've never had to interact with people I didn't know. It's so different here; I go to a school with 3,000 kids when in Pennsylvania I only went to a school with 500 kids. So, I see so many different people each & every day. My first day at school, I was totally dreading; I just wanted to die right when I walked onto the school bus =/ I sat by myself ALL DAY long. It was AWFUL! I was quiet & shy, and I'm not like that at all so I wasn't really used to what I was going through. I'm not comfortably rich, I'm not even close to it. A group of girls at lunch asked me to sit with them, because they noticed I was sitting by myself. I was pretty happy they asked me because, I felt stupid sitting by myself, but these girls were RICH, they had Dior sunglasses & Coach purses, I knew that they wouldn't be true friends or even want me to be around them, I just felt really out of place. They promised me the next day they'd sit by me, and they didn't =( I was sure I was out of luck with making friends, so I basically just gave up on the 2nd day of school. I was totally anti social for the next few days until I met a really cool girl in my Biology class, we were talking about how I had just moved from PA to TX & she asked me who I sat with, and I said no one. She said I could sit by her during lunch the next day, I was so happy; I met her friends, and they were super nice. & I've been sitting with them ever since, and I'm meeting a few people so that should be good.
As much as I'd like to tell myself that I'm going back to my old friends in Pennsylvania, I know I'm not going to go back until I atleast graduate. I'm not who I am in Texas, I'm not shy, quiet, or anti social. If my friends from Pennsylvania could see me now, they'd think I were stupid & crazy, they'd probably hate me, because I'm not quiet, & here I just am, I'm afraid to express what I really am, I don't want to lose what I have right now.
I know it's not exactly the situation your in, but I know what you mean about having to act like something your not in school & how you don't really have friends. (:
You're seriously doing the best you can, you're talking to people, that's all you need to do. There's nothing more, it's just going to take time, as much as you'd like to not believe that it will, it seriously will. It sucks right now because you don't want to be there with people you don't really interact with well, but everything will be put in place for you. Everything always works out for the best, I promise. =) =) The best advice I can give you is just keep up what your doing, talking to people. Be nice to pretty much everyone, smile & say hi to everyone you possibly can. You're bound to make friends that way!
Good luck with everything, I'm sure you'll be happy eventually. =)
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heyy i know how you feel. i'm definately one of the 'innocent' ones i guess you can say outta my school, like me & my group friends. everyone else had sex, does drugs, smokes, drinks, etc. you juss need to talk to ppl & be social & they'll grow to like you. juss be yourself, because if people don't like you for who you are, then obviously they aren't good friends. juss be yourself & be social. if you talk to random people about school & stuff & maybe you can say 'hey wanna hang out sometime' er stuff like that. i wasn't in your situation juss because the ppl i went to preschool with are in my classes now, like we've all been together since we were little. juss try working at meeting new people & asking them to do stuff. it'll work out.
-hope that helped!♥
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hey i live in missouri to and i was in your position in 7th grade but then in 8th grade i started talkin to the "popular gurls" and now im good friends with them but i also hangout with a lot of different people. i dont go to an all gurls skool though. if you have any popular gurls in your class then talk to them. even if theres only one she still can make a difference. dont be shy because thats how i was to but now i dont care wut people think of me. i dont care if they think im loud or stupid but mostly everyone thinks im funny so its all good. so do wut you have to do and a lot of poplular people go to the movies on fridays or to parties and even if they do drink u can still hangout with them. trust me i dont drink or smoke and i hangout with stoners and dunkies and i always have a good time.
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I think you should just try to be yourself! Don't be afraid to say what's on your mind. When you know the answer to a question, don't be scared..answer it! Get people to notice you, but speaking up. If you are quiet and shy, people will just look rite passed you! But if you are loud and outgoing, people will love to be around you! You could always try to talk to people at lunch, or gym (if you have it), or ask someone for their s/n or phone number! Give em a call, and ask if they would wanna hang out sometime after school or on the weekends. Have a party or a sleepover, and just invite everyone and see who shows up! Just don't be afraid to be yourself! I found information on a website (mentioned below) that i thought you might like to read:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Making Friends -
1. The quickest way to make a friend is to smile. When you smile, people think you are friendly and easy to talk to. It may not be easy at first to smile. But, you can practice in the mirror. When you look at yourself, think if you'd rather talk to your smiling face or your usual face that may look scared or angry. Remember that other people have feelings too and most people will stay away from a scared or angry looking face.
2. One easy way to start a conversation with someone is to say something nice about them. For example, you could comment on a great answer to a teacher's question, good catch at the ball field, pretty shirt, etc...Think about how great you feel when someone says something nice to you. Doesn't it make you want to keep talking to that person? 3. Ask your new friends questions about themselves. Who's their favorite singer, where do they live, who's their teacher, what do they do after school are all good questions to start a conversation.
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