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best friends ex boyfriend
I am in love with my best friend's ex-boyfriend. I have been for quite sometime. We flirt a lot and everything,but I guess he sees me as just a really good friend. I have helped him through so many problems throughout his relationship my w/ my best friend. Now they have broken up, and I want him. But I can't. He is still in love with her, and two of my other good friends have a crush on him. One claims she loves him, but she doesn't know him like me, she doesn't look at him like I do, she doesn't see what I see. I want him so bad, its like un bearable. But for the longest time, I've been just a friend.I want that to change, but it can't. Unless I want to loose 3 of my friends. (It is a rule of ours that no one can date and ex unless its been many years). I have one more problem, I just recently got a boyfriend, I like him A LOT, and I think about him more than any other guy (besides the one we are talking about), but I guess I just can't get the other one out of my head. I gues you could say, that I love them both, but I want the other one. =/ how to I get him??
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This is probably the strangest things I have ever seen in my life. This is exactally what Is going on in my life right now. My best friend's boyfriend broke up with her..says he still loves her. And she still loves him. I love him. He's my best guy friend. My other friend has liked him off and on for a while now. The only thing that is different is that I don't have a boyfriend at the moment. Wow. I'm shocked that someone else knows how I am feeling. I would do anything in the world for this boy, but I don't know what to do. If you ever figure this out, I would be delighted to see the outcome.
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If you have this strong of feelings about your friend's ex, you shouldn't stay with your boyfriend now. It's dishonest and leading him on, and if he gets too attached but you're still in love with the other guy, it's going to be an emotional wreck for both of you. Trust me, I had this situation very recently. Once you figure that out, talk to your friend's ex, just a one-on-one conversation. Tell him that you have feelings for him, but you don't want to ruin a friendship if the feelings aren't mutual. Tell him that you also don't want to ruin your relationship with your friends, but you really have feelings for him. If he has feelings back, then you need to talk to your friends. Potential real love isn't worth giving up simply because of a rule about ex's, and if your friend is over him, and he has feelings for you and not the other two, they'll get over it. Seriously, I felt the same way about a boy, and I would have regretted it forever if I didn't at least take a chance. Hope this helps!
Love,
Nevaeh
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I know this probably isn't the answer you were looking for but here goes.
I think it would be a mistake for you to go for this guy. You yourself said that he's still in love with your friend which means he's not ready to get into another relationship yet. If you try to get him, you run the risk of getting rejected, as well as ruining friendships and your relationship with your current b/f.
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I've gotta be honest, this sounds like infatuation rather than love. Believe me when I say that's not an insult, (been there, done that)but you say that your other two friends have crushes on him too- this guy sounds like something of a charmer and it would suprise me if he didn't know, to some extent at least, the effect he's having on you girls.
You say your other friend claims to be in love with him also, so obviously she has said something. Perhaps it's not as taboo as you're thinking to admit to crushes on each other's ex's?
I would say try to focus on the guy you're with, and talk to your friend about why she dumped this other guy in the first place (hearing of his bad qualities should show you the grass is generally never greener the other side) and keep your friends! Such a cliche but they really will be around longer than most guys.
Still, enjoy the experience- the older you get the less people you're likely to admire in the same way.
Best of luck
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You should break up with your boyfriend first.If you really want this guy is it really worth losing three friends of yours?That is somehting you have to think about.If it is really love than I should tell you love is something so powerful to feel about another person and there are no words to express it,it's just something that you feel inside of you.You must tell him that you really like him and want a serious relationship with him.If he saids he will only see you as a friend than insist that you really care about him more than any other girl will. You should go speak with a couselor to take your stress out that could help.One last thing tell him what you could do to show him that you really like him and that "wasn't I there for you when you had problems with my friend,when you broke up with her".Hopefully he will give you a chance.Good luck!
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You need to talk to your friends and tell them how you feel. they should understand if they dont their not ral friends. its also unfair to keep the other guy hanging if you dont feel as strongly about him. you need to explain to him how you feel about all this too and he might get upset but its life they should get over it eventually. and if you love the other guy give him time and try to make him see how you feel about him. this stuff takes time. :)
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