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FIRST GIRLFRIEND;;I GOT DUMPED!!!
i'll be 15 in like 2 weeks.. and im going into high school. my ex boyfriend lives in another town but i see him almost everyday. he's 2 months younger than me.. well heres the 411...
i have a friend who has a step brother my age. hes never really had a girlfriend that lasted more than a day until me. much less kissed a girl. everything was perfect although a little awkeward cause im used to a guy leading the relationship. well he started listening to what other people were saying about me. and he didn't really trust me cause he has a hard time trusting people because of his past. well i spent a week with him 24/7 and he broke up with me. with the understanding that we both still liked each other. well his dad and step mom went and talked to him and he didn't talk to me at all the rest of the night i finally went home. all my friends tell me i should give up on him. and hes an asshole. but ive completely fallin for him and i haven't fell this hard since last summer. i wrote down a speech to say to him when ever i get the courage to call him. basically it says how much i like him and how he can trust me and how id love to go back out with him. ive been careful the whole relationship (3 weeks) not to say i love you. and i haven't yet. but i know i love him. i just don't know whether to live it alone or to read the speech to him. should i move on or try and get him back? please respond its very important!!!! also i don't know if he broke up with me cause i was his first girlfriend and he didn't know exactly what to do. i also don't know what his parents told him after me and him broke up! could they have ruined my chances?
love, gabby
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Dear Gabby,
This seems like a very similiar situation I had with my ex. She really wanted to take our relationship to the next level. The main reason I broke up with her was because she lived like 40-50 miles away from me. She was my first REAL girlfriend. We kissed and held hands, whatever... but mainly I think that this guy that you like, is actually afraid to take this relationship to the next level or he just doesn't want to be in a relationship at all. If he felt uncomfortable at times, then I think he's not ready to be in a relationship. Basically, he's not being an ass, he's just not ready. Hope I helped!
~Mike~
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..Well i dont think you should give up..If you love someone dont give up..Give it a shot..Talk to him..Try reading the speech to him over the phone if you cant do that try it on the computer..That always helped me when i was nervous..Talk to him and dont worry about what his parents said about you..If a kid listens to his parents about a girl than he doesnt really like you..So i think it was other reasons..Maybe he was scared about the whole realationship thing..So maybe if you talk to him again he will be okay and try it again..I wouldnt give up on this one..Id keep on trying..I Hope I Helped..If there is anything i mean anything you need just hit up the inbox..Thankx`..
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..Well i dont think you should give up..If you love someone dont give up..Give it a shot..Talk to him..Try reading the speech to him over the phone if you cant do that try it on the computer..That always helped me when i was nervous..Talk to him and dont worry about what his parents said about you..If a kid listens to his parents about a girl than he doesnt really like you..So i think it was other reasons..Maybe he was scared about the whole realationship thing..So maybe if you talk to him again he will be okay and try it again..I wouldnt give up on this one..Id keep on trying..I Hope I Helped..If there is anything i mean anything you need just hit up the inbox..Thankx`..
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i think you should leave him alone right now just back off if he likes you a klot he will come back to you.. this can be a lil test for him and you will know the truth about him. if he comes back and apologizes and everythign then you know he still likes yoyu a lot. you dont have to try moving on for now just try like not thinkin about ti so much. go out have fun with your friends if he doesnt call or try taslking to you for 3 weeks then you noe he isnt worth it. hope this helps you out.
*~Stephanie~*
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wow... it's a heartache that sucks! in order to shorten the pain, you probably should back off. Definitely don't read him the speech... it's just going to make him feel stupid and you feel worse. A couple of my fav sayings that are totally true: if you love someone let them go, if they were yours they will be back. and... the only way you should be saying I Love you - is when you're answering with i love you too. suck up the hurt and press on.......
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Hello, Gabby.
Well, I'm not sure what you really want me to say. But, I think you should try and talk to him. Obviously y'all had an attraction for one another at one point in time, and it lasted for three weeks. Did he act like he was getting restless? Or did he hint in any way that he was going to break up with you? It sortof sounds like it was just out of the blue, kindof random... but who am I to say? Maybe he had ... influence from his parents to break up with you? Maybe his parents didn't think he was old enough to have a girlfriend? Or maybe there was another motive? Such as religion? Or a need to "grow up" some? I don't know, but I think you have a right to know why. Maybe you can call him or IM / E-mail him and just chat a little with him. Let him know that you miss him, and that you're curious as to why he broke up with you. No hard feelings, of course, but just out of curiosity. Don't dump too much on him, he probably feels bad. Maybe his parents said he was too young to have a girlfriend, and he was forced to break up with you? If that is so, he was probably too ashamed to tell you why, and he probably misses you like crazy? Or, maybe his friend has a crush on you and is upset he's going out with you? I'm don't know why. But he probably misses you. Give him a call, try and make things flow naturally, don't push too much on him though.
-FunnyCide
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I really don't know if his parents have anything to do with the break up, but maybe they did say something to him about you. You never know. You know how most parents are overprotective and just want the best for their children. You could always ask him what his parents said if you really wanted to know. There's nothing wrong with wondering if they could have ruined your chances or said something bad about you. I don't think you should give up on this guy. You like him, actually you love him. Love doesn't come around to often and when you love someone you should never give up on him or her. Keep on fighting for him until you have him as a boyfriend again. Love comes around once in a blue moon, it's a really special thing. So fight for the guy. I think calling him up and reading out your speech to him is a great idea. Just spilling out your feelings and telling him everything will make things much better. Since you know he still likes you, go for it, you really have nothing to lose. Once you get all those feelings out in the open, you'll feel so much better just knowing he knows how you feel about him. I'd suggest calling him up and reading the speech. You might just win his heart back. It's worth a try. Go for it hun!
♥ Krissy
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Hey Gabby, first off thanks for droppin it by on my inbox...I'll see what I can do.
Hmm sorry that I'm going to make this a little long, but I will do my best to break everything down into pieces so you can better understand it.
*hes never really had a girlfriend that lasted more than a day until me. much less kissed a girl.
#That means a lot right there. If thats the case though, then it might be him and not all the other girls. As mentioned, he has trust issues, everyone does. That also means there had to have been something there, something for him to hold onto you for so long. So keep your head up and be proud.
*everything was perfect although a little awkeward cause im used to a guy leading the relationship.
#Does that mean you led the relationship? That definatley sounds like something new for both you and him. You shouldn't be afraid to lead a relationship though, because some guys just get so afraid and nervous they just do whatever comes to mind and don't always think things through. So yeah, step in if you have to. Just because you led the relationship, doesn't mean you did it wrong.
*well he started listening to what other people were saying about me.
#Again, the trust issues come into play here. It seems like he did not trust you enough - but that doesn't make it your fault. First off you should never be listening to other people about your bf/gf. The fact that he didn't trust you too well, but listened to other people about you also says something. It could very much be that he was having doubts about you or the relationship to begin with. He is more than likley scared and intimidated because your the first 'real gf' he's had.
*and he didn't really trust me cause he has a hard time trusting people because of his past.
#You should have expected that. More than anything you have to try to gain his trust by any means. Saying that you like him a lot might not cut it, because it didn't work out with his other gfs either.
*well i spent a week with him 24/7 and he broke up with me. with the understanding that we both still liked each other.
#I don't get that part. How does somebody spend so much time with someone, then just break it off like that. Ask him why he broke up with you. Ask him why he did it after being with him for so much time during that week. Again, trust and doubt looks like what broke that up, not the fact that one of you didn't like the other. If you can install trust in him, then things should work well.
*well his dad and step mom went and talked to him and he didn't talk to me at all the rest of the night i finally went home.
#It's ok to ask him what he talked to them about. He might just be scared of everything and not want to get hurt.
*all my friends tell me i should give up on him. and hes an asshole. but ive completely fallin for him and i haven't fell this hard since last summer.
#Who is going to go out with him? Who is the one who is going to spend time with him? You are, not your friends. If he really isn't such a bad guy then don't listen to your friends. You probably know him better than they do. You are the one who decides if he is good enough for you. If he is and you really like him and he likes you, then don't pay too much attention to your friends.
* i wrote down a speech to say to him when ever i get the courage to call him. basically it says how much i like him and how he can trust me and how id love to go back out with him.
#Smart idea. You need to tell him everything. Communication is crucial and key to a successful friendship and relationship. I'm sure you'd want him to tell you how he felt too, right? So tell him all of that and don't expect the worst either. Just make sure you are clear about it, and most importantly honest.
*ive been careful the whole relationship (3 weeks) not to say i love you. and i haven't yet. but i know i love him.
#Maybe thats what he needs to hear. That is however a strong phrase, and you shouldn't use it unless you mean it. But if you do, go for it then. Nothing is stopping you.
*i just don't know whether to live it alone or to read the speech to him. should i move on or try and get him back?
#Don't give up and definatley read the speach to him. Why? Because you said he still liked you - you still have a chance to win over his trust and to keep things alive again. Take that chance because they aren't always there.
*also i don't know if he broke up with me cause i was his first girlfriend and he didn't know exactly what to do.
#That might have been the reason. No guy likes to mess up or take a chance of messing up. So explain everything to him and just have him trust you.
I hope I helped, and sorry it was so long. Let me know if you have any other questions. Good luck and don't give up.
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If you know you love him, then you should do all you possibly can to get him back. Love is not just a feeling, it is a drive that pushes you through meeting him, talking to him, asking him out, etc.
Though, if I may suggest, you should probably not read the speech to him, it would be a little awkward. Maybe if you sent it through E-Mail, it would be a whole lot different.
I think that his parents were the reason he split up with you, yes, but they did not ruin your chances. You can still do it, it just may have to be secret.
-Steven
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