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nervous?
Okay...this is gonna be kinda long, but i really really need help. There's this guy I know, Alan...and he moved here from Utah, and I had a crush on him when i first met him, we go to the same church. well, i was real close to telling him, but one of my BEST friends took him. Then dumped him 8 months later. my mom invited him and his sister to come with us to Great America, a few months later. well, i finally got the guts and told him, and he told me he didn't really really like my friend like he does me. and we held hands on the ride home, and I'm only 13, and our religion says we arn't allowd to have a relationship until we're 16. and so i was really nvervous, esp. since his little sis (10 y/o) was sitting right next to us. It's been a year, and he keeps trying to hold my hand and kiss me an stuff, and i really don't think it's appropriate, and I've told him time and time again, that i think it's not right, and that we should wait a few years. well, he won't stop, and now we're in highschool. I'm really uncomferatable around him, esp. when we're alone. How do i get it through his head, i've tried just ignoring him, and i've tried talking to him. I dont' know what to do. His family moves around a lot, and i really don't want to let him down, cuz i know his past, it's been really rough for him. what do i do, I don't know how long he'll be living here. so I dont' know if I should just let him go, and tell him i don't like him, or just to put up with it until he moves again.
PLEASE HELP, i Rate really really High!
Signed,
Confused and stressed
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i think since your religion comes first, that your standards should too. tell him. he's a good guy and you like him, but you can't have a relationship till you're 16. after you turn 16, try working things out with him unless you definately know he's moving. i think since you're doing it for your religion it's a really good reason.
good luck!
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I will give you my personal opinions and you can use them but i really think you should do what you think is right... but what i think is that you sound like a great person... i am not religous or anything but why do something wrong just for a guy that may move soon.. i know you dont want to be mean but you sound uncomfortable and you should never be uncomfortable so i personally think that you should just stick to what your religion says!! hope i helped!!
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Tell him you guyz have to break up for now then when its a appropriate age for you guys to have a relationship is when you guys go back out!:)hope this helped your problem!
~!!+*Kristine*+!!~
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No, dont break your standards and dont do anything against your religion. I think it awesome that you respect your religon and that you are not willing to go against that. You need to tell him one more team and be very serious about it. If he cant respect your decision then just dont hang out with him for a while! He just HAS to respect you! Since he truely does like you he will and he will wait until the appropriate time. Just tell him that. Dont just drop him because you sitll care about him a lot. But I think everything will work out between you guys in the future. Just tell him and be serious and mean it. I`m sure everything will work out. Good luck babe!
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you have to lay down the line! tell him you are not comfortable... if he doesnt stop... tell an adult
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DO NOT do anything you dont want to do. If you dont want to lower your standards, explain to him that you just want a healthy friendship with him untill the time is right to become his girlfriend. Tell him that if he really likes you like he thinks he does, then it shouldnt be that hard. But you also cannot get mad at him if he does want a relationship with someone and moves on. *theres three things that a typical highschool relationship gives you that a good friendship doesnt. 1-status 2-How it makes YOU feel 3-the "stuff" (physical stuff) and those arent good reasons to date anyways. So a friendship gives you everything, but no pressure for the "stuff" and the other reasons. so explain this to him and if he understands great, and if not, you will find a guy that does.
ps- 13 is really young to date anyways, and most likely will end soon enough. So 16 is a good age to date because you are more able to be serious and can actually go places alone because yall will have cars.
If you need anything else, dont hesitate to leave one in my inbox!
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Well, you have to ask yourself, how important is religion? I know that in some christian sects or denominations, everything is a sin, dancing, movies, music, holidays, and that is just plain ridiculous. But in the end it all comes down to one's personal beliefs. What I believe may not be right for someone else. You say your religion discourages dating before 16, which is unnatural, but okay. You say you like him, which IS natural. Its basic instinct, and a part of the human development to become attracted to a potential mate. I'm not out to shatter anyone's religion, I'm just trying to tell you that religion does not have ALL the answers. 99 times out of 100, if you ask God for guidance you won't get a reply, this is what I've experienced, however its all faith. So in the matter of how you should deal with it, ask yourself, how strong is your faith, and how important is your religion to you? If you find that your faith is more important than this guy that you have a crush on then tell him flat out, no, you are sworn to uphold your values that are issued by your church. However, if you do some soul searching, and find that your religion just doesn't make sense, then enjoy your new boyfriend. I'm sorry if I shook your religious pillar, but sometimes it has to be done. And I hope to my gods, that I helped you with your issues regarding this boy, and your God.
-The Knight Owl
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