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what to do?
here it is quick and dirty version.
i met a girl on an internship. we both are in the same field. we have alot in common besides our profession. there was an instant attraction when we met. she had a boyfriend for 5 years and dumped him after we kissed for the first time. we got to know each other a it before our internships were over, she came back to see me and we were intimate. now we she each other occasionally but we live in different states. i am moving to arizona for a traveling job which will last three months. i would be away from her for 3 months and our relationshiop is just starting out. she is more uncomfortable about it than i am. i really like it out there but she is everything that i have ever wanted and if her and i were to end up together i would have to move back to her city. she just got out of a 5 year relationship and i am ready to get into a long term relationship so i don't know if i should move to her state to try things out because she may not want a relationship like that. i am worried about being the transition guy. she has a problem with trust because of her dad having an affair on her mom but i would not doing anything to hurt her. any suggestions on if i should second guess moving to her city and stay where i like it and how can i convince her to trust me? asically if i don't move to her city it would never work.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Are you going to be happy if you move to her city? If not it will cause problems ion the long run. My advice has to be move to where you want to go. Stay in touch via the internet or whatever means you want to. Get to know each other better. If, after you have communicated for a while you decide there is more to it, then you can move to where she is...or she can move where you are.
If she is coming out of a long term relationship she may not be looking for another right now. After that kind of relationship you probably would be the transition guy. If she has a problem with trust then you traveling for work isn't going to work with her either. Do what you have to do. If it is meant to be it will somehow work out. :)
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hmm..this seems like a tough one. there's no way you can do both? why don't you try long distance for a bit. have her come see you, you come visit her, and then when you get back you guys can work things out. i'm sure she wants you to go and do your job, but leave an open relationship. if you really don't want to, then stay back with her, but i think she'd rather you go and do your job.
-hope that helped!
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Ooooh, this is quite the catch 22. All right, here's my advice, and take this to heart. You seem like a hopeless romantic, its okay, you're not alone. If your feelings for this girl are as strong as you claim, then here's EXACTLY what you need to do. Before you leave for Arizona, you need to have the heart attack conversation. Most of the time, this conversation is started by the woman, and gives a guy something close to a heart attack. Hense, its name. The conversation always starts with the same phrase, or something VERY close to it, "Where do you see this relationship going?" This, in a sense, will get her to think "Is he really the man I want to spend the rest of my life with?" You should be prepared to answer the same question, as it will be turned around on you at some point in the conversation. Now, onto the results. If it turns out that she feels this relationship won't work, then hooray, you get to move to Arizona after all. If however, you both feel this relationship can get serious and lead to something like a family, then I think you should put off the job in Arizona, find a job in her city and take it from there. It shouldn't be that hard to find a job somewhere else in the country, her city, or where ever if in fact it does not work out. But cross that bridge when you come to it. On behalf of all hopeless romantics, I wish you luck.
-The Knight Owl
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