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My mom...
My mom and I have always been close but I'm fourteen now and we're still close but we get into fights a lot and it really bothers me. She's a preschool teacher so she gets summers off with me so we have a lot of time together. It's just, I hate fighting with her because, in her eyes, I'm always wrong. I mean, she starts to assume things and then when I tell her that that isn't true she get's even madder and saying "Well you said it once" or "Just drop it". It really really makes me mad. To everyone around me, my life is perfect. I get told I'm pretty and have the perfect body all the time, my family is "perfect", I'm not too popular, I have great friends...but no one sees behind the scenes. In reality, I'm really self-conscience and sad. When I'm around people, I'm the happy girl everyone thinks I am, but in my mind I'm sad. The fights take a toll on me. The way my friends treat me take a toll on me. I just don't know what to do. I really am happy on most aspects of my life, but I don't see why my mom has to fight with me. I don't think I deserve it. She doesn't know how it affects me and I'm not going to tell her 'cause then she'll get mad and say I'm selfish and think I'm always right, which I know I'm not. She's really cool a lot of the time but now we fight more and more and it's really starting to bother me. What can I do to help myself be happy and not let the fights get to me so much? What can I do when we fight? I want to be happy but these fights hurt.
Please help. Usually I give good advice to other people, but I don't know what to do.
-K-
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i wuz in your situation before and i know its really hard.but then one day my mom and me got into a huge fight.and it wasnt just with words.i ended up walking out the door and not coming home.well doing that got me arrested so i wouldnt reccomend that.but i would say that wenever u and ur mom get into a fight just kool off. take a walk outside and think about y your in this fight.then go back and try to fix the problem.that usually helps me.hope i helped XoXo
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Well what you should do is start a diary, so you dont feel like you dont have anyone to talk to about your problems (I know it sounds laim but it works) And if you feel you are able to let people in to how you feel just write them a letter stating what you feel about them and the views you have of them.... It will work out in the end... and about your mom I am sure she loves you very much it is just hard for her to understand your point of view since she is not in your place... try to write her a letter so she will not be able to yell at you and maybe she will be able to see how you feel
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Don't let it get to you. Really, if you just let it go, I mean when you know you are right but don't tell her something just so she won't go off about it, then she can't charge you guilty for any fights you might have. Try not to let those feelings get to you, because later on in life, you'll appreciate it more if you never fought back and made life impossible for either of you. Try not to argue or fight back or anything, because you might say something that could lead to something bad, and living life with regrets is the worst. When you fight, try not to be too responsive to things that are said. If something she says gets to you, or you know is wrong, don't act on it right away, let her finish and continue. Take things in and try to figure out why those things are being said. Don't try to interuppt by correcting her or denying anything or stuff like that. You probably won't like doing that too much, but that would probably let her finish what she has to say a lot faster. No, I'm not saying not to talk to her at all either, just be careful of what you say, and be more of a listener than a corrector. I know, it will probably be tough at first, but it is something you could get used to...because it doesn't seem like arguing back and forth feels to great or has proved to make anything better.
To feel better, say to yourself what is right. Let her assume anything she wants. Defend yourself if you need to, but so long as you know the truth, thats all that really matters. If that doesn't help all that much, talk about it to somebody you trust. Don't need to get into details too much, or come up with solutions, but usually talking about it helps, even if its a little bit. Good luck.
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OMg its like your living my life. I felt the exact same way. My mom is a preschool teacher too and like we used to have the same fights. So i was so sick of it and i was always in trouble but I sat down and talked to my mom with my dad in the room and my mom and i talked some things out but she got mad and that time my dad saw her and he agreed it wasnt just me so he talked to her and she came and apolgized to me and told me some of the things that had been bothring her butshe said she shouldnt have taken them out on me and blah blah blah it was really sappy but we dont fight nearly as much. Plus it wasnt just her, i had to realize it was me too. but ur mom can be a really good friend if you like her to be.So talk with your parents and fast because i know how annoying it can be!!o well hope it helped and good luck
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First of all, sounds like your mom is going through something personal. If she's starting to fight more and more with you when she never really did that, then i doubt it's YOU that she's mad at. Try thinking that she's just having a hard time with life and stuff and that it's not you who she's fighting. If you seriously feel like you can't tell her and fights keep coming up, try just hinting about how much you know it's hurting HER and you. Say you really dont want to make her upset and that you luv her. And about your friends. Do you have like ONE really good friend you can just tell like anything??!!?! If so, go to her/him and just tell them everything. They could probably help you more than i can. If you dont, try opening up a little more to your general friends so they stop assuming and expecting so much of you. If you dont open up to people, how are they suppose to know that you're really not as happy as you look?!?! Maybe think about that. But for now, let your mom cool off and do whatever you can to prevent her blowouts. I'm sure over time she'll see that fighting is just stupid and useless. Take things slow and good luck!!! Hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple (plz rate and leave comments!!!)
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i think what you should do first is talk to the people you love. they'll understand. definately talk to your mom first. maybe if you let your friends in a bit they can help you. there's nothing wrong with telling people how you feel. to become happier its up to you. do whatever makes you happy. maybe hanging out with friends, try hanging out with your mom more, shopping, eating icecream, etc.
good luck!
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