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LOVE TRIANGLE
Ok, here's the deal. I have this boyfriend I have been with since 7th grade. We know each other very well, and are really comfortable around each other. But last winter his parents split up and he got mixed up with the wrong crowd, started doing drugs, starting ruining his life in general, and not to mention ruining our relationship not only as a couple but as I see him. He started blowing me off, not calling, not keeping promises, point blank..doing drugs. So we broke up for awhile, and I met this really great other guy. We talked about everything, and it evetually lead into a relationship. He was really laid back and we had lots of good times together. But to be honest, i couldn't open up to this kid as much as the other one. I was very standoffish and I couldn't like him to the point where I wanted to be more than just friends. He was very sweet to me and would do anything for me. He was the total opposite of what the other kid was, my old boyfriend is very protective of me and gets jealous and mad vey easily. so that was just what I needed. So, a few things happened, I cheated on this kid with my old boyfriend, and I needed to break up with him. I feel like such a bad person because he is such a good guy. After awhile, my old boyfriend went to Florida to figure out who he was and get more self respect for himself. While he was down there he would call me every single night. I was the only thing he had to hold onto. Now he's back up here, and I've hung out with him, but I'm not convinced he's changed and I don't want him to go back to his old ways. I am in love with this kid because we basically grew up together, but in some ways I feel like I made the wrong decision. Sometimes I feel like I should have gone with the other kid. I need some GOOD advise because I have been thinking about this for a long time.
PLEASE HELP, thank you*
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Okay, for your long question, a long answer. You need to talk to him, about EVERYTHING. How you feel about his drug shit and what not. You shouldn't feel bad about not being with tht other guy, because if you didn't feel the same way for him that he did for you, than it wasn't fair to keep going out with him.(But cheating was wrong) Now, your old boyfriend. If you really like him and what not, then you should be with him. He is after all just what you said you needed. If he changes back though, try to help him find himself again. He really probably just needs that someone, because probably when y'all broke up, he just went deeper into things because you were his only hope. I have a friend who is the exact same way. And, if you can't keep him from doing all the drugs and such, then you should tell him that you can't be with him if he does it, you've tried to help him, and you don't want him to hurt himself like that, but he just won't. He will get the point. If you also don't try to help him, he could REALLY hurt himself. Not just with drugs. So, point being, don't feel bad about the other guy. Talk to your old boyfriend and help him out. He needs you more than you think. Hope it all works out, do let me know, and e-mail me if you need anything else.
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go fuck a dog!
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Just because you've had feelings for him for a long time doesn't mean you still have them. You could be clinging to a bad habit, just like he is. To me, it doesn't sound like you're in love with this kid.
But because you've known him for a long time, you know he's been messing up his life, and is going to continue doing so. He messed up your relationship once, why won't he do it again? I'm sorry to put insecurities in your head, but seriously think about it. Do you want to be dragged down with him? When people close to someone get depressed, they have a tendency to get that way as well.
As for the other guy, if you didn't have those feelings for him, then don't worry about it. You did what you felt was right, and that's good enough. When you make a decision don't look back, or you'll regret it. Whatever the decision is.
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okay just sit down some night and figure out which guy you think you could spend the rest of your life with and which one you really really like and if it came down to it who would stick buy you after you think about that you should sit down with each of them and tell them everything thats going on but not at the same time and then pick i know it doesnt semm like much help but i tried its not up to any one on the computer its up to you and who you love hope i helped
Morgan
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Well this is very tough. Love isnt just something that you play with, it comes on its own. But listen to your heart not your brain. If your heart picks the other guy then go with him, if your heart picks the guy your with now then stay with him. If you dont listen to your heart you gonna wonder your whole life. But you owe it to your current boyfriend to tell the truth, if you stay with him just so he wont back to his old ways thats not fair to him or to your heart. I would probably take a break from him. And not see him for a couple days or weeks, the same guys for the guy. And think about the RIGHT decision. Compare them boy to each other. Like personalities, smiles, which you trust more, the one you think is more fun, the one you can tell anything to. Stuff like that. {I am just saying but you could like use a scale and jelly beans and put the left side as your current bf and the right as the other guy. then compare them both and which one has the better outcome then put the jelly bean on there side{example: if your current boyfriend comes out with the better smile then you would put the jelly bean on his side} REMEMBER to always listen to your heart no matter what hope i helped!
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I think you just need to be honest with yourself and the people that you've involved yourself with. You should let boy #1 know that you really do care for him, and even though he'll hate you for it, you should try to push him (just a bit) to getting better. Or try to get him to ask for help, but don't go and get help for him, because he'll feel betrayed.
Don't go back to the second boy if you don't feel that much for him. It's not fair for him or yourself.
Things will work out.
-Siobhan
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If you have feelings that you're making the wrong decision, your heart is trying to tell you something. I would wait until you're completely sure that he's changed and not doing drugs again before getting into a relationship with him again. Since it seems to me that this guy has jealousy issues, I would take things very slow.
No one can tell you what you need to do, that's something you have to do for yourself. If your heart is telling you to slow down, I would slow down and wait until you're sure.
Good luck.
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