|
When i was younger my dad used to beat me with anything and yes sometimes i deserved and sometimes i never anyway. Now if anyone talks about there dad or people hiting people i get all red and i panic and i just want to be out of that conversation but i dont want people knowing or wondering why i get like this so how could i change. anyone help please
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Well if your father has STOPPED beating you than you should forget about it and not let it bother you since it isnt currently occurring, and get on with your life. but if it is continuously happening, you need to tell someone about it (such as a friends parent or the police) and get help immediately.
]
Well, some people are just troubled by the idea of parent's hurting their children, you don't need to tell your friend's that you were beat but let them know that you are uncomfortable with the subject. There's lot's of people who have nice dads but are uneasy about the subject of abuse.
]
Try to change the subject fast, and you do know your father could've been arrested for child abuse...
]
Maybe you can just say something like...Why don't we talk about something more pleasant. A lot of people don't like talking about things like that so, I don't think it will seem odd. :)
]
No you didn't do anything to deserve it. It is NEVER ok to beat your kids, and if the police knew they would have arrested him. And that is why you have a problem when a conversation about a dad beating his kid bothers you. Because he violated you, your person and your trust. We are born totally dependent on our parents. TO survive we need to develop trust with our parents. As children we do it without thinking about it you see, in is in our nature, in order to survive. When our parents violate that trust, by beating us, it shakes us at our very core. We can't grow up normally that way. Also, usually we feel we did something to deserve it, and often our parents tell us that we did, because they don't want to believe that they would hit someone with out a good reason. Well, it's all bullshit. Your father was wrong. That is why you have problems. Maybe knowing this will help. You need to "own" the belief that you didn't do anything wrong. Then you need to be mad for a while, then maybe you can get over it. And look, maybe you weren't an angel, you don't need to go into details, buy we all grow up better when we are raised with kindness and patience. Sometimes we are told that we are bad, so much, that we start to believe it, and start to act out that way. I hope this helps. I think I gave you too much information. Listen, I don't think your friends would judge you, if they found out, though I respect your wishes to keep it to yourself, but talking to an adult about it might help. YOu can leave me a question any time you like. I will answer within 24 hours. Take care of yourself, really.
Michele
]
I use to be in your same situation but that isn't an issue for me anymore what I did to overcome it was listen to another person talking about it and I felt not so alone because I know someone else went through the same thing but if you dont want to go through thatjust say something like you need to do something else of if they get into it avoid the subject say something completely off the subject then most likely they will start talking about it.and if they beging to wonder don't change the way you act because if they do they will expect something is you say a simple no I bet they wont bother asking or wonder about it anyl longer.
]
Well first of all dose your dad still hit you? If he dose maybe you should try confronting someone you trust with this. It's not a good thing for your dad to hit you like that, there's no reason for anyone to abuse their child, or anyone. If he dosen't hit you anymore, and it still is bothering you now, which it obviously is, maybe you could go visit a conselor because they are good at helping people get through tough situations like that. And when people start talking about abuse maybe you can say something to change the conversation. Its okay to think about that because after all it did happen to you. And if you want to help people that have been in that same issue you could go to your city cps and volenteer and talk with kids that have been through the same thing and you can even hear their stories and you may find it comforting knowing other people have been in your shoes, make it through and go on with their lives and just think about whats happening now, and not in the past. Just remember to stay strong no matter what. Hope this helps!
]
More Questions: |