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School Work
I am a homeschooled girl, I'm turning 15 in about two months. I am doing this program for middle schoolers, where I go and pick up tons of work each month. Apparently, theres so much, that its hard cramming it all in a month, but I manage to get it done the very beggining of the next month, meaning I turn it in late. This happens, because either I didn't have parents take me because they were gone, or I wasn't done. Most of the time it was just not going on time. I expected a lot from myself when I was in public school, my grades were always in a high range. But now, I am failing three classes. Ever since I saw my grades, I have been feeling guilty for eating, sleeping, or doing anything I want because I shouldn't deserve to do what I want. I am so full of stress, I think that maybe another reason. I see a therapist that takes both of my parents sides, and my parents are divorced, but they still fight. But, I'm not going to drown myself in excuses because I've managed to do well in the past. There are lots of other stressful things going on, but I am just really scared that I'm going to get held back. I havn't finished the month of May, I tried to last night, but those thoughts of being a failure took over and kept me from concentrating. I have no idea what to do with the present work, but I do have goals for high school, I might be staying home again. Could anyone share some advice that could help me get my stress out and my future thoughts in?
I'll definetly rate because of the length of this question. It will be more than just thank you.
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wow. that's complicated. find a way to make your homework your first priority. make yourself think that you are soo much butter then what your grades show. grades show nothing. think about your longterm goals. (ex: graduating from HS,college,etc.) think of all the good things that homework pays off for. & well your stress.. it will ease it's way away once you get ontop of your crapload of work.
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Hey There--
You already had a few answers but I thought I would share my story with you. I've been in a somewhat similar situation before and I know how hard it is to try and play catch up in school.
Back in the fall I had to go into a homebound program which is pretty much just like homeschooling. For about 6 weeks of fall semester and all of spring semester I was going to pick up packets of work at my school's guidance office several times a week. The only draw back was my teachers had a really bad habit of sending a lot of (overwhelming) things at once.
At the end of April I still had so much work to do-- it wasn't looking like I was going to pass my spring semester. In American Lit alone I still had 3 novels to read and write essays, take tests, etc etc. And I like you am such a perfectionist. I want to do well-- and if I don't I come down really hard on myself.
So, on to my advice. Talk to your parents. I understand that your parents are divorced and don't always necessarily agree-- so talk to the parent you feel would be able to understand your concerns best. Going to talk to my Mom and Dad about my worries was the best thing I could have ever done-- they were my strongest allies during Spring Semester.
They met with my principal, my guidance counseler, my teachers, my homebound instructor, etc and worked with them to help me. In my school district there's a thing where you can have a week into the next semester to make up any tests, work, etc if there are special circumstances. Perhaps one of your parents (or both) could get together with your principal (or the person in charge of the program you are enrolled in) and arrange something like that for you.
As it turns out-- I didn't need the extra week (which essentially would've given me all summer and then a week into the fall semester) just do the best you can. That was always my motto. If I couldn't finish a whole worksheet or do every assigned page in the book-- it was okay. As long as I was ready for the test. If I didn't read every page of every book and had to use Cliff's notes to help me-- that was okay. Just do the best you can and push through. It will be alright.
Talking to your parents will defintley relieve some of your stress. Dealing with issues like this is hard to do alone-- you cannot do it alone. You need someone on your side to help ya out when times get tough!
I hope that was somewhat helpful. Sometimes I get wordy ha. But I hope it works out for you-- Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help you out.
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You are not a failure at all so dont think nagative about yourself or anything. If you've been doing well in public school maybe you should consider going back? You honestly just need to relax. Try your best on the work and keep thinking that you can do well. If you dont understand something ask your parents or look it up online. I get stressed really easy also and then I defenetlly cant consitrate (sp) and it puts me in a bad mood. When you feel stressed out just relax. Take a warm bath listen to some calming music or take a short nap. It works. Just belive that you can do that and you will!!! Good luck with everything!! __ex___oOh ♥
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if you did well in public school and home schooling isn't working out for you gradewise..you should really consider going back to public school. it will be a lot less stressful because you will have to worry about getting a few things in all times of the month instead of doing everything by the end of the month.
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You are not a failure. Find out if you can get extra credit and let the teacher know why stuff is handed in late. It's very hard for a teenage girl to have parents that are divorced. The therapist should take both sides, not just your parents. It would be much better and easier if you went to public school next year in my opinion. Good Luck. I hope you raise those grades!
~Brina~
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wow what the freak is wrong with you.....i almost faild 2 classes but brought my grade up the last week of school.....its nothign you should feel undesevein of......kids fail all the time its just as you go on the work gets harder and harder.....just try your best adn try not to think about ...relax and go just dive into the work adn dont stop till your done....it worked for me and i hope it can work for you!!?!?!?
katherine hallie!
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I stress about almost anything. I try to study for my test and ask my parents for help when i don't understand something. If you are having trouble with your parents being able to drive some where ask a good neighbor or a relative.
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Hello there,
It is odd that you should ask this question just now. I just finished answering a question where I typed out most of what would be my answer to this question. What are the odds?
Please read this answer:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
... And let me add a few more things:
Some things I didn't mention in the other question as I didn't find them applicable at the time were that I was doing double workload at some points and had no social life whatsoever.
In addition to scheduling time off to do absolutely nothing every day I also started practicing a very wonderful martial art called Aikido and met a lot of wonderful new people. This led to my involvement in computer clubs and the eventual presidency of a local computer users group.
Starting a large quantity of social interaction right as I started junior high school would probably have been the best thing I could have done. I have the experience of looking back on it from a distance now and I can tell you safely that homeschooling, while you are likely to be well ahead of practically all your peers for the rest of your life, will destroy you socially if you don't get out and do things.
I don't care what it is, it doesn't have to be a martial art, it could be dance class, it could be shopping 101, it just doesn't matter. One of the most important things you will learn in your entire life is how to deal with other people. If you don't learn this as soon as possible it makes life depressing. Brain the size of a planet and too shy to have an intelligent conversation with anyone. :-)
I have a project for you: Read the posts on this site from people your own age... You, at 14, write more intelligently than 99% of the people on this site.
You are way ahead of your peers, but if you burn out completely at 15 what does it matter?
Some of the people who are total wrecks later in life were very brilliant in their early years. Don't let what happened to them, and what almost happened to me, happen to you.
You are so far from being a failure it isn't even funny. I, for one, am very proud of you for dealing with this in adult fashion.
You know there is a problem, and you have chosen to seek an actual answer. Most people your own age, especially with a therapist, would be strung out on some kind of mind altering antidepressant drug.
The local school system tried that on me and it almost ended my life.
What you have here, is a short-term problem. You will recover, you will do very well, and this will all fall by the wayside soon enough.
Don't sell yourself short, never put yourself down as it seems like that is the job of 90% of the people in the world and they are very good at their job. ;-)
I don't think you realize how advanced you are for your age. Have your IQ checked with an age-appropriate exam and see what you think after that.
My parents didn't tell me what the results of the initial homeschooling IQ test revealed... The year I went back for a year of public school I was tested not once, not twice, but three times and been accused of cheating. They had a hard time with seeing a number of 178 repeated over and over again.
Homeschooling works. It works as well as your parents work. Your parents have as much to do with your success or failure as you do.
If your parents have a problem with that idea, ask them what they would do if you were failing only one class in public school or had to do an exceptional amount of work in that class in order to keep your head above water.
If they are as smart as you are, they will admit that the teacher is either failing you as an instructor or not seeing you struggle with the situation and putting in the extra effort to see you succeed.
My father was an Army Ranger whose drive and determination to see me succeed frightened me at the time.
My mother was very kind and recognized the areas with which I was struggling greatly she helped my dad to see that I would never be the math genius that he is and comforted him with the knowledge that at five years old I could spell better than he can today. Nobody is perfect of everything.
The symmetry of these two together is what caused me to be able to finish high school at 12 years old.
Because your parents have split up you don't have that balance and assistance. That puts a great deal more work on your shoulders.
I don't know what your workload is like, but if there is something which is not a requirement for your current grade may I humbly suggest that you drop it until you catch up?
In homeschooling the parents are supposed to do roughly 50% of the work. If your parents can't put that time in then you have to work around them.
In Japan, if a student is held back the teacher is severely disciplined for failing to do his or her best to help the students succeed.
While there is no hope of implementing this in the public school system here, it is a lesson that all homeschoolers should learn.
You are absolutely not a failure. You are doing all the work was only half the help. That is why you are swamped. Do you have one parent there with you helping you through the lessons all the time you're working on them? That should be the way it is that is how homeschool works, and why very few households can make it work. My mother was a stay-at-home mom, and my dad would help me as much as I needed for as long as it took every night after he got home from work. Without that support I would have been exactly where you are.
Even with that support I still ended up where you are for a while. So that makes you better than me.
You are free to e-mail me or ask questions in my column directly if there is anything that I can do to help you succeed.
DangerNerd.
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I am such a person to stress out about anything and I kinda know how you feel.First you need to concider...Are my grades falling because I am so stressed out or is it because I am home schooled? If it is because of stress then you need to tell which ever parrent that you live with or a theropest. They can help you with this. I got help from a doctor and now I fell so much relif. I have always made straight A's until this year and this year there was just too much and I started haveing panic attacks whic really scard me. So I got medcation which helped so verry much! Maybe that will help with the stress of haveing to get it all done.About the home school part...Maybe you are not tryiing your best anymore because so many things are on your mind and because unlike public school you don't have other perople there to encourage you or friends to be there everyday. If you think that being homeschooled is the problem then you should really talk to a parrent about this. All you have to do is tell them that you would like to go back to public schools becuase it would relieve alott of stress and that it would help your grades out alott! I really hope I helped and please don't feel guilty for have a life!!Eating, Sleeping, Watching t.v, or talking on the phone or internet are all the parts of liveing a normal life and they shouldent intrupt with your school work but they should me done!
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Being homeschooled myself I know where you're coming from! Last year I was in a charter school and 2 months late in finishing. I also had a horrible case of stress during that time.
First I suggest that you set aside an hour or so today to just relax, collect you thoughts and pray. DO NOT think about anything that has to do with school during this time! After your time is up. Just start hacking away at the workload you have with the consolation that this too shall pass!
One thing that can hurt your grades is that usually with homeschooling you tend to be a little more disorganized, or in my case, a lot. Now, just do your best to do your best!
If there's anything I missed just ask my column and I'll try to help!
Keep your head up!
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