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Death.
Here in the past 2 months one of my friends mother died. And as you know. Sunday was mothers day. and it was just so bad. and she kept wanting to talk to me about it. and i wanted to talk to her about it. but i didn't know what to say! And she still talks about it every day. and she carries her mom's picture around. and i think this is just making it worse. but i want to talk to her about her mother. and i want to be able to comfort her. but i don't know what to do or say. I've told her that any time she needs a mother figure. that my mom is always avalible. but she just says it's not the same. and i somewhat understand. but i just don't know what to do. any suggestions?
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There isn't a whole lot you can say to make her feel better. I'm willing to bet that listening to her is the best thing you can do. She will miss her mom for years to come. She isn't going to be there for all those "firsts" she has coming up. Just be understanding and let her talk it out...don't worry about saying anything in particular, just listen. :)
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One of the nicest things you can do is just listen.... ask her to tell you about the best time she ever had with her mom, or what was the funniest thing her mom ever did, or even if you tell her that you thought her mom was funny when she did such and such. Lots of people think that when the funeral is over, it's all done with, and it's not! I lost my dad in 1979 at 14 yrs old and still carry his picture and I'm still so happy when someone says, remember when your dad took us all sailing and tells me a funny story about him.
I know it may seem uncomfortable but all the strange feelings are completely normal. You can help her immensely by not just ignoring her loss.
My sympathies go out to you and your friend.
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hi! comfort her. Be the best friend you can. Everyone who looses a family member goes through a really tough time. Especially when it is a parent. Tell her how you feel without infering that she should move on. for everyone it is a different time. I know people whos dads have died 3 or 4 years ago and still carry around his picture. Listen to her. Let her know that your there for her. that is really all you can do until shes READY to talk.
Hope i helped
~texas~
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I can see how she feels. I have a few friends who have lost one parent in the past few years, try having another one of your friends who had lost a death of a parents. Not that your not good enough, your are doing great telling her your mom is always there for her, which mean not only is your mom there for her but as a friend you are there as well. She should try tlaking to another person who has lost a parent in death like I stated before. That way when she has someone to talk she knows that, that person knows exactly what she is going threw and all..and she knows how she feels when she lost a parent.
I am not sure if you got what I was saying, I got myself confused when I was re-reading it. But I figure you probably know what I am saying.
-Need anything else feel free to drop one in-
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You can talk about any found memories that you have of her mother. You can talk about things that her mother did that made you laugh. If her mom did special things for her or both of you, then talk about that. People who loose loved ones, don't want to forget them. So many people are afraid to talk to someone who lost a loved one because they don't want to make them feel bad, but they couldn't possibly feel any worse. Nothing you say can make it worse. But people who have lost a loved one says it worse if people avoid them, or if they don't talk about the loved one who died, as if they never existed.
When you and your friend are talking about her mom, and sharing memories, and smiling at the good times, and maybe a few gigles, when you remind her of something funny that her mom might have done. Then say to her, you were lucky to have a mom like that. or You were lucky to have such a good relation ship with your mom. Sometimes when a loved one dies, we think of something bad we said or did, and feel guilty, but I know when a person is dieing, all they think of is how much they love their family. their last thoughts are always for their family. So she does not have to fee guilty about anything. You will become the friend she can go to when she feels the need to remember her mom. It is really nice of you to be that person for her. It will help her through the grieving process. Don't be afraid of her greiveing, embrace it, and be there of her. You already know what to say. Thanks for being a good friend to her. She will be grateful.
Michele
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well...everyone has their own way of mourning and her carrying her moms picture might be her way...so dont tell her its not good cause it is for her..and when she does talk to you just be there!! you cant really plan out what your going to say in this situation..and dont push her to talk to you..just wait untill she comes to you! good luck!!
michelle♥
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u should just try to comfort her and tell her that which is very true that bad things happen to good people sometimes and that even though her mom isnt there phisically she is alwys with her in spirit.. i hope it helps i feel so bad for her
Sammy
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