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Ticked and Single
Man, I feel stupid asking questions on this thing, but anyway...kind of a two-part question here.
First, I had a pretty big crush on a guy friend of mine...but I found out that he was dating someone else. I was kinda sad about it, but I was okay with it -- UNTIL the weekend later where he was flirting with me like crazy, and I know it was because his girlfriend wasn't there. I don't think the guy knows it, but it really hurt me, especially cause I'd just found out about his GF...and, well, even though it was a month ago, I'm still pretty ticked. Should I talk about it or should I just let it go?
Second, it's stupid, but I've never had a boyfriend and I'm starting to feel really bad about it, especially because all my friends seem to be hooking up -- I don't really want to date right now, but I wouldn't mind just finding a couple of guys I can flirt with and hang out with just so I can feel a little better about myself. (This, along with all the stuff above about the jerk-guy, has left me feeling like the Dateless Monster from Hell.) Any ideas?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Eh, I say, though unfoRtunate, to just foRget it. I think of it this way: why would I even WANT a guy who is dating ME... to Run aRound fliRting with otheR women! You see what I'm saying? If he could so easily Run aRound fliRting up a stoRm with you when he alReady HAS a giRlfriend, what makes you think he wouldn't do the SAME thing to you if YOU weRe his giRlfRiend? Come on now, wouldn't that just enRage a little flame inside you? And what's the point in having a Relationship if you can't tRust youR paRtneR?
And ideas foR meeting guys... just be Really fRiendly? You mentioned you have neveR had a boyfRiend, but you neveR mentioned youR age. If you'Re only like 15... then you shouldn't woRRie; you have plenty of time still, and it's definitely NOT uncommon foR people to have been thRough the same thing. But be it 12, 15, oR 20... it's no biggie. I know *TONS* and *TONS* of people who aRe aRound 20-21, and have still neveR even held hands with someone - it's Really not a big of deal as you would think. HoweveR, if theRe's someone you know well and may slightly like, and you figuRe he just doesn't feel the same, then you *DEFINITELY* need to confRont him on this. Just be bold, be honest, and go foR it. It's the *ONLY* way to know FOR SHORE if he likes you oR not; you can *ASSUME* he does all you want... but you'll neveR know exactly how he feels unless it's coming stRaight fRom his lovely face. And if you'd like to spRing foR new guys entiRely, just tRy going up to one and giving it youR all! Just RemebeR to always be confident, and to SMILE, SMILE, SMILE! See, I have NOOO pRoblem appRoaching people, because I believe that I can do anything, so I just push my feaRs aside and go foR it!! I'll walk up to some man in the mall and tell him flat out, "You'Re hot"... and it always gets us talking. Why does it always get us talking?? Because confidence is sexy, and even if he's involved, oR not wanting a Relationship with you specificly, any man who is a QUARTER of a man will speak with you foR just having enough guts to go foR it! So, now that that's coveRed... go get 'em, TigeR!! I have complete faith in you; and I think you should too. Hopefully this has been of some help to you; I'm soRRie if it's not the answeR you weRe seeking, but know that I'm always, always, always heRe if you eveR need a second opinion.
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I didn't date a lot a your age either and I felt the same way. But know that I am older, and I met men instead of boys. they are much nicer. Even though men used to be boys, some of them do grow up. That guy sounds like a jerk. Good think you weren't his girlfriend or you are the one he would have been cheating on. As far as flirting, I don't see why you can't flirt with anyone you want. Flirting is fun. But just go slow if someone wants you to be their girlfriend. Start out as friends, and take the time to get to know him, so you don't end up being cheated on. It does get better honey. Hang in there.
Michele
PS when I went to my high school reunion, all the girls in school that used to be the most popular and always had boyfriends....turned out to be loosers and barflys. It really opened up my eyes.
M
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anonymous -
1. Let it go. It was in the past, move on.
2. Don't feel isolated because you don't have a boyfriend. I was in the same position once where all of my other friends hooked up with a new guy every few months where I remained single the entire time. Even though now I am in a committed relationship, those friends still can't hold on to the same guy for longer than two months. So I point, and I laugh. Ha.
Your time will come, just be patient.
In my opinion, living the single life is a hell of a lot funner than being involved in a relationship. Sure it feels nice to have the status and have someone there for you to be intimate with, but going to a club and mingling without having to worry about making a guy jealous is not too bad too.
Ideas? Go out to a club. Hold a party. Plan a getogether. The options are endless.
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This guy friend of yours is either a player, or he just flirts with everyone. For a while, one of my friends thought that this boy had a crush on them, until she realized that my other friends thought so too, because he just acts that way to everyone! We're cool with him now, and we know that he always acts like that. You should just let it go unless he does it again; then casually ask him about how his girlfriend is doing and listen to the answer. If it's sincere, you're fine. If it's not, or evasive, then this guy friend really isn't a friend. And if you feel like everyone has a boyfriend but you, it's perfectly fine making friends with a couple of guys to hang out with, as long as you don't give them the impression that you're looking for a boyfriend, because that could lead to uncomfortable situations where he asks you out and you say no, which leads him to believe that you're a player, which you are clearly not.
Good luck!:-)
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First thing first you sO totally need to talk to him ! Tell him how you feel and tell him that you like him!!!!!!! Don't be sad! He might like you too!!! And about thats gay jerk guy ugh screw him dont let him have you feeling like this!!!!GRR!! screw him! YOURNOT DATELESS trust me you will find some1 sooner or later and please talk to that guy and tell him how you feel and also say you were upset when you found out he has a girlfriend! If your shy have a friend do it but i perfer you do it your self!! I SO HOPE YOU TOO GO OUT!!
xOx ViLLy*
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I think if its been a month ago you should probably just let it go. Easier said than done I know but its probably the best way.
I understand you wanting a boyfriend but, its not the end of the world! You just have to find you one that you like and then hang out near him. Talk to him about things he might be interested in to keep his attention. Then start flirting if you're good at that sort of thing! Good Luck. :)
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Maybe to him the flirting that was occuring was just hanging out and talking. Does he know you have/had feelings for him? If not, you should tell him and if he was flirting with you then he'll realize he should backoff. If he doesn't, that just shows he's an asshole and doesn't care about other peoples feelings.
Get some girls together and go to a different towns spot such as: Bowling, movies, mall, park etc. You can scope out new guys and they will notice you and possibly talk to you, if not go talk to them. See if you have any close by under 21 dance clubs, people from all over go to those and I'm sure you could meet some great guys at one of those.
Hope I helped
<3 Fontaine
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ok guys are like that sometimes
he may just want to know if your interseted in him before he leaves his current gf
my suggestion is to confront him alone about it say that you know he has a gf and ask him strait up if he likes you if he does than ask him if he wants to be with her or you
there's no prob. flirting with guys it's when it gets outta control that you gotta worry so go ahead and flirt with a few guys you can with me if you want however I will not date online :)
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