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Upset...Not used to this.
Ok,sorry if this is long. I moved away from my city,call it A to a town/suburb call it B. If i might say,i was friends with almost everyone(in my grade in elementry school and middle school] in my home city, A.But when i moved to B,everything changed. People in B judge you by how you look and they hate you even when they never met you. I have friends,yes,but im not all that pretty and i know people dont like me,people that i dont even no hate me. I hate it,i dont hate anyone or talk about people behind there backs. People in A are so much nicer but ever since i moved,i get sadder and sadder every day. I know its stupid but i really cant handle it! I know at least some people will hate you were ever you go but im just not used to this change. Im not all that outgoing,but could anyone give me advice for my situation please?
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Want to answer more questions in the Work & School category?
Maybe give some free advice about: School?
I'd be marginally less quick to second guess, Missa. Questioner didn't describe why he/she thinks that.
I found that on moving to a different school I was targeted simply because I was an easy target and didn't have any friends. Now, the people who gave me a hard time probably didn't hate me - they just needed someone to rag on for whatever reason. I suspect that the questioner may be in a similar situation and thinks that it's personal. But, I also could be wrong.
No, I haven't got any advice. I was in such a situation, and it didn't end well.
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Just stick with those you have made friends with and forget the rest of them. There isn't much you can do to make them like you if they are that shallow. I doubt your parents will let you go back to your original school, so you have to try and make the best of a bad situation. :)
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It's not stupid, it's normal.
But I would like to point out that the real problem is _your_ lack of confidence and self-esteem, not that people dislike you. How do I know this? Well, you just told me that you don't think your pretty, and people hate you even though you've done nothing wrong.
Of course you are pretty. Don't be silly :P And people can't dislike you if they don't even know you. People need to find a specific reason to dislike before they can hold a grudge.
I understand that you are homesick and nervous about being in a new place surrounded by new people. Especially when you knew everybody in your hometown well enough to know that they liked you.
What you need to do is realize that you are pretty, that you are a nice person, and that people do like you and want to be friends with you. Once you do, this friend stuff will be a lot easier...
It will be a lot easier because when you are confident, you are less shy...even if you are naturally shy person. (I know. I'm shy, I used to be practically anti-social. But things are a lot easier now that I like myself.) You will be able to smile at strangers and talk to new people. And really, that's all you have to do to get people to like you.
Infact, your shyness might be why you _think_ that everyone hates you. If there is one thing that I have learned from my own shyness, when you are shy...people don't automatically know that about you. Instead of assuming that you are merely nervous, like all people, they'll immediately think that you aren't talking to them because YOU are judging or dislike THEM. Sounds crazy, I know. But if you think that way...What makes you think that other people don't?
In summary: be nice to yourself. It will be a heck of a lot easier to get other people to like you if you like yourself first. And stop being so paranoid :P
Best of luck to ya' dearie ;) Don't let the moving blues get ya' down...
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OMG! I completely know how you feel, except for that I'm in highschool. I lived in the city and now I moved to a town as well, and I really know how you feel. The whole "people hating you without even knowing you" thing is something I can relate to. It probably feels that wherever you walk you hear people whispering and they might say something that makes you think that they're talking about you, and a lot times it turns out that they are. A lot of times I feel like saying something back at those people who talk about me or say something, but I shouldn't and I don't. I mean keeping it all in isn't all that good either because that could lead to depression, but...wouldn't you hate it if everyone just saw you as a girl who always shouts back and who's always angry or misunderstood? So some advice to you would be to not dwell on what people think and say so much. Someone said something to me once that made me really mad, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like sad inside, so that just proves that thinking about even just ONE negative thought for too long can hurt yourself. Okay, this is exactly what I wouldn't like to hear if I gave myself this advice but TRY to ignore those people. Another thing, don't think so much about what random strangers in your school think about you, think about the friends you DO have. It took me a long time to get used to this BIG BIG change of moving, and I'm still not completely used to this change, and this all isn't stupid because I feel like the same way. You know sometimes your life will feel like nothing's going right, like you think,"Why me?!", because you haven't done anything wrong and everyone suddenly hates you for no apparent reason...but just Brush the haterz off your shoulder! LOL exactly that...what ever they say to you bounces off and goes right back to them! I hope things work out, even if it might take a while...and in a way thx because writing this out actually helped me a bit too. Please ask me if you have any other questions or email too...
my email: pcgamergrl18@netscape.net
Good luck!
~Princez Peach~ ;)
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Baby steps. First of all, all the people you think hate you are probably in your head. They just don't know you. Find one person that you have something in common with and start talking to them. There is always at least a few people who are willing to reach out. Just don't try to do everything at once, and you will be ok. Join some clubs or organizations that you have interest in, and you will have a good start. Change is a good thing to learn to manage that will help you throughout your life.
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I know how you feel. I think it is terrible when parents move and make their kids change schools. Especially at your age. It is never easy. It is something that you will always remember as being a hard time in your life. But, I hope you can hang in there. Things will change, and things will get better. When you look at adults today, probably about half of them have been through this. And while none of them have good memories of it. It did get better, and well they grew up alright. You sound like a very smart girl, and not self centered at all. In time, real people, not phonies, will make friends with you. And one really good, close friend is all you need. Can you see a girl in school who is not the most popular.....maybe you can approach her and make friends with her. (I'm assuming your a girl)
You do have a computer, do you stay in touch with your old friends that way? That can help Do you parents bring you to visit them, or have them over for weekends. That can help also.
I hope time passes by quickly for you. And by summer, you will have some new friends and new things to do.
Michele
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