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Ok, this might be kind of long but here goes...I have been going out with my boyfriend for 9 months, and we are really getting on eachothers nerves, we fight over little things a lot and its getting old. He's always by my side and following me, hes really clingingy and hes just getting annoying. Don't get me wrong, he is the best boyfriend I have ever had--literally--and the longest relationship, but I just want to be friends right now. I don't want any boyfriend at all, but I have issues with breaking up with people. I don't like to hurt people's feelings I hate makeing people feel bad or cry, and I need some ideas as to how I could break up with him, but let him know I still love him, we still have a very big chance, I just need a break and want to be friends for awhile?
I rate high to answers that don't offend or piss me off.
Thanks for you help.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Maybe you should try to break up with him, but let him down easy. You sound like a cool girl and I think he wants you.
LET HIM DOWN VERY EASILY
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Breaking up with anybody is always hard and i dont think it will come easy..but jus talk to him *alone* and tell him you love him but you think you guys need a break..*time from eachother* but tell him you want to continue to be friends... he might not like that idea but tell him why you want to just be friends right now.. tell him *alone* is better because you might cry and who knows if he will probably but you dont want this all out in public...best of luck dez
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There is really no easy way to do this. You just have to tell him how it is straight up no lying or anything. I am the same way I hate hurting people but sometimes you have to do things like that. Don't beat around the bush you have to tell him because the longer you wait the worse it will be. Good Luck
Adriauna
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You have to be truthful with the guy even if it hurts.Honesty is a big deal in any relationship. Just tell him how you feel, you need a break because your feeling smothered.He will kick up a fuss but he will get over it. Be sure you tell him that you still want to hang around now and then ( if you do) You just need some time without commitments. Good luck to you.
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anonymous -
I'm not sure if you saw that episode of "Friends" where Ross and Rachel went on a break, but that's what it sounds like you two need.
I know it may be hard, but lay it on him. You shouldn't proceed with a relationship if both parties are not happy. Sit down and have a talk with him (in person preferably, cuz on the phone he can hang up on you). First tell him about the fights you two have been having and that it's taken a big toll on you and that right now you just want to think things out. Tell him that you want a break from the relationship for a little bit (propose maybe a week at the minimum, and if you feel you need more time, just say so). Explain also the reason for why you want a break, and reassure him that it isn't a break up. Remind him that you two will still be together, but some limits will be set for your break time, depending on your preference (ranging from no communication, or limited communication *1-3 times a week*, no seeing each other, no saying i love you's and vice versa. whichever you feel comfortable with). Might I add a break usually makes the both of you realize things you've never thought about before whether it's discovering your true feelings for one another or whether the person is not right for you. Until you get your mind clear of your thoughts about him, then make a decision.
But remember that all relationships go through its trials and tribulations. The fact that you two are still together and are committed to each other enough to work things out says a lot, it heightens your compatability for each other.
I've been through the same with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years. Back in the day we used to fight everyday over silly things, and even then did it get really intense. But we really love each other to stay and work it out, regardless of how angry or mad we are at each other. We also promised each other to compromise rather than argue, and when disputes do occur, to keep things civil to avoid further conflict (we rarely fight to this day). If you decide to stay with him, establish this sort of agreement, it really works!
Keep that in mind hun! Think things through carefully before you take any drastic action!
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I bet he might feel the same way. He could be getting annoyed just like you. You just need to start by stating exactly how you feel. Emotions can't be helped and he should understand that. He loves you very much and he'll totally understand. And I'll be your shoulder to cry on. But you should tell him you love him and just need a break. It's not the end of the world and if you tell him that he'll be fine. Just be totally open. You may dread doing it and hate yourself for a bit afterwards. But if its driving you nuts, you're hurting him more staying together with him and not explaining your feelings. I hope I helped.
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if you really feel that you cant talk to him to his face, call him. (DO NOT DO IT OVER THE INTERNET!*) explain to him that you still like him a lot, but only as a friend. and that you need your space. im sure he'll understand. just pick up the phone, take a deep breath and dial the number. you'll feel much better afterwards. you have to dial the mumber w/o thinking to much b/c you'll worry yourself out of it. Good luck *KaysEe
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Well, I'll try not to offend you or piss you off. :-P
I can understand how you don't want to hurt his feelings; I feel the same way. I hate being viewed as a bad guy to the people I care about.
It really does seem like your boyfriend really likes you, which makes it harder. However, does he know what he's doing is annoying you? Maybe you might want to suggest he stop being so clingy for a while.
I'm wondering if you actually want to break up with him, because it sounds like you might just need space from this one guy. Maybe you can just say be completely honest with him. I've found it easiest to break up if you don't do it totally out of the blue and you give the person what they need after the relationship (ie: their space).
Maybe you could start a discussion with him about how you need your space right now and you don't feel like at this stage of your life you don't need a boyfriend. However, you still love and value your friendship with him, so would he consider just being friends for a few months?
Just try to compliment him while you break up with him. Say however, not but. It's a stupid grammar technique I picked up studying communication. It sounds a lot less hurtful you you say however instead of but. Don't ask me why.
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