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ok im new to this here, but i am getting frustrated with getting only crap for advice. im 24 and i dont really have much of a drive. i mean i have my times but you might as well put it on the calander, its not that often. anyway my bf- fiance thinks that hes not doing it for me, but i tell him its cuz he beats me to it. when i am in the mood its great, and even when im not, he still makes it wonderful. i dont know what to do.. please i need real people to help with this.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
For some people, their hormonal balance or other issues get in the way of sexual pleasure. This isn't exactly common, but if other kinds of solutions don't work because you're seriously not in the mood (sure, you LIKE it, but you're not really into it, you kind of space out, that kind of thing)...then it might be something deeper.
I'm not sure who you would try first if you think it may be something deeper, it depends on what you've been through and what you think is the most likely reason you're having the problem. If you have no idea, a relationship or sex expert with whom you can get an appointment and really talk about things with may help. A psychologist may be necessary if it's something mental or emotional that isn't attached to hormones...if it is something hormonal, the aforementioned experts should be able to refer you to someone who can work to balance things out a bit more.
Normal doctors are usually not the best for deeper issues because they can only know so much...but if you don't know who to go to then asking the doctor for an expert who might assist can always help out, because they tend to know most local medical practitioners.
That said, don't lose hope, with a bit of effort you may very well find that you match your bf/fiance's sex drive ;)
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first get reeeeely hornie by like watching porn or reading something, or have him touch you- whoo hoo!! just do things to get you stimilated first! good luck and dont lose the passion!
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Well... sex is something that two people have to learn about together - so part of this sounds like the two of you need to try to openly talk more about how things are working and suggest what each do and do not like, and ask what you and he could try to improve the experience... I mean, for one, that gives you more excuses to practice... and it establishes an element of trust and support for each other through your sexuality, which that kind of intimacy becomes a cornerstone of a solid relationship. If he's "beating you to it", it sounds like he needs to be less attuned to himself during the act and pay more attention to you - and you need to be able to make sure he remebers this, even during the act.
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What exactly would you like to know? Go to my column, and click "Ask Question" and It will ask the question to me.. In the question provide the specifics of what you would like to know and I will answer to the best of my ability..
P.S. I know I may not be very old.. (17) but I have a great deal of Life experience for my age... after all I do get 667$ a week after tax... (about 850 before) not that that matters -_-
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Ever watch Talk Sex With Sue Johanson? Its a talk sex show on the oxygen channel and its great. I like to watch it when I can and she gets a lot of callers asking the same thing you are. What she says is for the guy to pleasure you before the sex. Have him give you oral and finger you. This way you get to have your excitement. Show him the way you like it is what she also tells her female callers.
As for the sex part..try new positions..that might get it going for you..what about buying a dildo or a sex toy? The two of you can have fun with that. If you get a vibrating sex toy..he can pleasure you. These are all things Sue Johanson suggests and shes excellent at the talk sex stuff. She also says role playing gets people's drive up. You could dress up as a "policewomen" etc (i dont know if your into the role playing) ..check out her website for more. Talksexwithsuejohanson.com
But if you can i strongly suggest you checking out her show! Its usually on later at night..( like 11)
I hope the website and what i said helps out with the sex.
-melissa-
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