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confused
my stepdad... well he 'touched' my sister alot. like every night. my sister ended up moving away to live with mu dad. he has done it to me once when he was drunk. but that was years ago... the thing is, i'm confused cause i find myself defending him. i told one oof my friends and i keep saying that he was drunk, didn't know what he was doing, etc. why am i doing this??? i am fairly close to my stepdad (in a non sexual way) and i hate my sister badmouthing him. i dont know why. Please help me!!!
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Dear confused. let me start of by saying what your step dad did was wrong. whether he was drunk or not he would have to be totaly all out pass out drunk to not no what he was doing. i no you art close to ure step dad but even if he touched you once it dose not matter you should report it even if it was a long time ago. you are still thinking about what he did to you which can cause severe damage to your personality. and your sister has the right to bad mouth him because he touched her more than once and it is obviously hurting her. what you need to do is talk with her and be a good sister.- ure friend pink floyd man
ps if you need to talk more my email adress is number1son90@charter.net
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OKay this is a tough situation. I know its natural to defend someone you know so well. Even though you dont like what they do you dont want them making fun of them like a sibling; you always have to stick up for them. Tell your friends I dont want to talk about this. Tell them to stop this hasn't happend in so long. Even though it is defending it will help get rid of this topic. If your friend dont stop find a new one. Tell your sister you dont need to badmouth our stepdad. If you dont like him jusyt ignore him!
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Stockholme Syndrome.
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You know why? It's because you love him. Not that you're in love with him, but you love him, and you care for him. You don't like hearing bad things about him because of that. It's perfectly normal, but the thing is, you need to realize that he's done something bad to your sister. That her talking about him is her way to cope, and you kind of have to see how that would make her feel. I kind of feel that this is something you need to talk about with your sister, and see her point of view, and let her know yours. The whole reason you defend him is because you love him, but the thing is what he did was wrong. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't your sisters fault, your stepdad just needs help. Maybe you just don't see it the way she does.
I hope that helped.
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I'm sorry to say this sweetie but there is no way you should be defending this man he did a terrible thing to both you and your sister. He abused you it doesnt matter whether its verbal physical or sexually the point is he abused you. Whether he was drunk or sober isnt the point either he knew what he was doing. Those are normally the first steps its starts with touching and then eventually leads to rape. You need to tell someone. You should stop defending him now. What would it be like if it was your daughter.
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I think this is mental related situation. You say you two are fairly close, right? That is probably why you find yourself defending him. Because you care. Sometimes, no matter what some people have done in life, you always care and can't help but side with them. What he did was wrong but it only happened once so you feel it's no big deal most likely. Don't worry about it. If it happens again, I'd tell though. You can't have that happening. Xo
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I think the reason why is becase your close to him and you want thinkgs to be ok. You want to put aside the fact that he touched yuo. But you know wha? somethibng like that isnt something you can put aside. Its wrong..and your stepdad has issues because he did that. Your sister badmouths him because of her bad experiences and i dont blame her. He could start up again..that wouldnt be good. Think about moving with ur dad..i would
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