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What should I say?
I'm a 30 yr old male. My situation is a bit complicated. Several years ago I became very close to this girl. Problem was she was seeing someone else and her family expected her to remain with this person. Our relationship was never really defined, but we were close. Abruptly, things changed. She wouldn't see me or talk to me anymore. I suspect that someone may have mentioned me to her family,which caused a problem. We were supposed to talk about it but were not able to after that. Anyway, this was seveal years ago and I've always regretted not getting the chance to say goodbye or tell her what she meant to me. I would like to write a letter resolving these issues, but seeing as so much time has gone by, I don't want to come across as a nut or scare her off.
What kind of things should I write and what should I avoid writing? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I had a friend once, that will probably forever mean more to me than anyone I have/will ever know. He helped shape who I am today, and I am eternally in debt to him for that. However he moved and I lost contact with him. Then a few years ago I ran into him, and my pride and my wishing to not look like a "nut" kept me from telling him how amazing I thought he was and what a difference he made in my life. 11 days later he died, suicide. Not saying something to him is the ONLY thing I regret in my life. What would it have hurt, what if I didn't get to talk to him again, I don't anyway. Don't ever keep yourself from spreading beauty in the world. Write her and tell her what she meant to you, tell her you regret not being able to say goodbye. She should know you better anyway and know that you aren't a nut. So she doesn't talk to you, what difference would that make from now? But live your life without regrets, take those chances and do one thing a day that you fear, if you don't you don't grow
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I am sure she moved on. You should to
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Tell her your feelings. Say that you miss her. Ask why she stopped talking to you, and tell her that you care for her (as a friend or more, whichever you feel) and avoid being sentimental. Give her a call and leave a message, saying maybe you and her could meet sometime. Hope I helped!
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Tell her exactly how you feel. Ask her what happened. Don't worry, it won't scare her off. And maybe at the end, say that you understand if she's moved on, but that you just wanted to know. Good luck!
Hope I helped!
~*Erin*~
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You're right this has been left for far too long. But, you do need closure to move past it. Most women can relate to that. Let her know you never understood exactly what happened between you and that you regret not being able to tell her goodbye like the friends you were. Let her know she was an important person in your life and that after all these years you still needed to let her know just to close this chapter of your life. Be honest, tell her you still care and that you wish her well, but that this was something you had to resolve to bring you peace of mind. Let her know you are trying to end what you had, not worm your way back into her life. But I would give her a means of contacting you, a phone number. Maybe she's ready to tell you what happened now. Good luck!
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You might come across as a nut anyway after all these years. Sometimes you just have to take that chance. It's only a letter; it's not like you are stalking her. Don't say I want to marry you. You might mention that you would like to just meet for coffee and talk about it. Honesty is probably the best policy. You never know, she might be in a place where she would like to see you again and/or start dating. Just do it.
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