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Girlfriends Dad doesnt trust me.
Ok I met this girl online like 11 months ago and in April I asked her out. I have pics millions of letters and we talks hours everyday on the phone. I really love her. But her past relationship she was raped and had a baby so now her dad doesnt trust guys being with her and since she met me online that makes it even worse. I really wanna see her yesterday was 7 months. I need advice on getting her dad to trust me if anyone can help. And no im not leaving her shes perfect we never argue or fight. Please dont give me answers saying to dump her I understand long distance is hard but I know with her dads trust it will work. Thanks much guys and gals.
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Her father needs to know you as well as she does. From what you've said, you want to be a part of her life. So be a part of it. Realize this means you'll be a part of her family's life as well. Suggest dinner with her family. Work on a car with her dad, or find an interest the two of you can discuss that has NOTHING to do with his little girl. Don't just try to get her off alone with you. That can come later and will be more rewarding if you're not constantly both worrying about how her dad feels about it and what he'll say or do when you bring her home. Her dad is frightened for her. In a very real sense her past hurt may have scarred him just as deeply. He failed to protect her once, and I can see why any male interest in her would freak him out. You have your work cut out for you. There will be no easy way to gain his trust and don't forget hers. That she's ready to become close to someone again is wonderfull, but it's a long way from being healed. I wish you love and luck!
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How far of a distance is between you??? My husband and I met online in 2001 and got married in 2003. I think that when you do go see her, tell her dad exactly where you will be and guess a time you will take her home.... I think if he knows that you care enough to let him know where you are going and what you will be doing he will trust you. Also when he sees that his daughter has found someone after all she has been through and she is happy, that should make him feel better.
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It's somethign that you may never gain her father's trust. I don't think you should break it off because of that, you just have to show him by ACTIONS, that you're not that type of guy. But have ya'll met in person? Ya'll haven't fought, and that's great. Just don't forget that things might change once ya'll hang aroudn each other more. (Off topic). But you seem really into this girl, so thebest thing to do, is show her father, not tell him, that you'll be good to this girl, and you're in for the long haul and you don't want to hurt her.
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You didn't say how old you were. Or, how far away you are from eachother. If it's possible a visit would be helpful. Staying at a hotel of course. This would give her Dad a chance to meet you & see what kind of a man you are.
Remember his generation didn't date thru computers. So to him, this is really wild. You have to show him that you are a good person with only good intentions toward his daughter & his grandchild.
If a visit isn't possible. Try shooting a home movie. One that shows your family & friends & lets him see how you live. This will make you a "real" person. Instead of just a voice on the phone, or an e-mail.
Hope this helps.
Jody
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never hurt her or never ever make her cry. its hard for her father to accept that she has been raped and its going to be a long time until he trusts any boy again. maybe if u ever meet you should talk to him and spend time with her and the family so he knows where your coming from. hope i helped!
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Well, i'm sypathetic to her father. This has to be really hard for him. I don't think there is any one thing you can do to change his mind. just keep being a great boyfriend. it's going to take him a very long time to come around. but if you keep being a great boyfriend, her father will see it eventually. good luck and i wish you two happiness
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