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Friendship in difficult times
I've already asked this but didn't know how to ask everyone. I'm male, 25. I've been going through a very stressful time with my job and family recently - I got laid off despite excellent qualifications, because they have outsourced to Canada, and was quite severely depressed. I am introspective, and don't have many friends, but value the ones I do very deeply. Anyway, I rather stupidly decided that I would be jealous of my friends' families, and their lives generally, being so much better than my own. In a moment of despair I told some of my very best friends (some of who I fancy majorly, but that's another matter!! LOL) that I never wanted to see them again. I swallowed my pride a few days later and apologized, but I don't know if they'll ever truly forgive me. I don't even know what I'm asking advice for... Maybe how do I broaden my friendship circle so I'm not so dependent on these few, given how shy and reticent I am? Or how do I stop myself reacting angrily under extreme stress? I just feel so lonely sometimes, I don't know what to do. I know I need a more positive outlook but what possible reason do I have?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
take some time off for yourself, don't talk to any friends for a while and then get all your freinds back together and act like you never left in the first place i can't garentee that it will work but, it does for me and im only 15
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Listen to Chaos, she's been my best friend since high school. In fact she's the only friend I still have from high school. I personally have a bad tendency to just drop people I really like for fear of being too, something. Other than overly willing to give advice and talk the mortar from between bricks, I don't know. I can tell you for a fact that friends will forgive your supidity. Just don't stop communication. Sometimes a friendship can rekindle, but it's so much easier just to keep in touch regardless of pride and fear of rejection. If you're friends with women, you should know eventually we'll either tell you are or were being a jerk or just forgive you after you've truely proven to us you're sorry. Don't ask how to prove it. As for myself I just arbitrarily decide "that's good enough, ok forgiven" and forget the offence.
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I have just recently hit a brick wall concerning my work. I wasn't forced into it, but it is very stressful.
My question to you is: Do you know where you want to be in 2 years? Make a list of the top five things you want to do. You are obviously an intelligent guy if you had a job, you have just reached a setback. Think of people you have contact with in the world to get a new position.
If you want to broaden your circle of friends, join a book club or attend some random get togethers in your city. We have an outdoor group here that plans things for people to attend, which is great if you want have fun hiking or somehting and can't find someone else to do it with. Start your own even.
I wish you luck.
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I understand... I've gone throught the same thing. There are so many things you can do.
1. Ignore the shitty advice some people here will give you... they don't understand your situation.
2. You probably need Zoloft or other medication. Talk to your doctor about your problems with social interactions and depression. It can help you be happy and be yourself and make more friends.
3. Start writing a journal... you can get out your feelings and learn from your mistakes.
4. Get a punching bag, join a karate class, join a kickboxing class, etc... that relieves stress.
5. Join a yoga class or go to a spa and get a massage. You definitely need to relax and go on a mini vacation.
6. Look at your options. Plan out a couple things. Try something new. And maybe look for a different job.
7. Go to a club - plenty of people to meet there.
or try a bar - a couple of drinks in you system can loosen you up.
8. Tell your friends the straight up truth and apologize. But then forget it and act normal, because if you make it a big deal, so will they.
9. Get a hobby! Learn an instrument, play a sport, go to the beach, start painting/drawing, join a club, or start volunteering. This will help you get your mind off of your problems and not feel like a loser.
10. Compliment someone else... help someone else out, help the environment, volunteer, do community service... do something for some one... This will help you feel good about yourself and raise your self esteem.
11. Try something new. Get a new hair cut, wear a different style of clothes, get a piercing. Trust me, this will attract attention and help you to get over your low self esteem and shyness.
Well... if you have any questions or comments just hit me back! :) Good luck to you!
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deal with it pussy...life is tough i mean not every1 gets what they want and it soundsl ike you have just hit a bad time in ur life... so buck up and get with it.
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First of all you have some major self esteem issues. Second of all these women are your friends because they see something in you that you obviously dont. Instead of staying on the phone and on the internet try going out every once in a while go on a date. Thats the only way your ever going to broaden your friendship circle. You seen to get the fact that you have excellent qualification. If they are so excellent then you should have no trouble finding something that you like. Bad things happen to everyone and everyone at one time or another uses their friends or family as a personal outlet. Im more than sure that your friends will forgive what you have said. However this does not exscuse your actions. Its not about swallowing your pride its about building on it. I hope that ive helped.
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If there're your friends then they will stand by you. Maybe they will even be able to introduce you to new people. When you lose a job or someone special your friends should be the ones you fall back on, so try to open up to them and let them help you through your time of need. good luck...and I've been there so your not the only one whos ever been there.
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