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Rape
When i was really little, i was raped by my cousin, someone i thought i could trust. i can no longer trust people anymore, it is very hard for me. What do you think i can do to help me cope with this and how can i explain this to my friends, who always want to know why im such a cold, hard shell of a person?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
First of all, this is less about explaining yourself to your friends and more about trying to figure things out for yourself. Growing up and getting to know yourself is hard enough without an added complication, and I think you could benefit from seeing a therapist.
Don't worry; they are not for 'crazy people.' Therapists are people who will focus on you, listen to everything you say, and help you figure out where your life is going. Simply going and talking to someone (confidentially) can make a big difference because they are not judging you, planning on fixing your life for you, or blaming you.
There are there to listen, and you'll find that just talking to another person who won't interrupt you will be liberating. Make sure you find a therapist you like; if you meet one and don't like him/her, there's nothing wrong with seeing another one. You might want to consider having a female therapist as it could be easier to speak with her about your experiences than it would be with a male.
You aren't a cold, hard shell. You are a loving, confused, hurt person who is understandably afraid to get close to people. Sometimes we can't break out of own walls and just need a little help; you are strong enough to deal with this. Keeping yourself hidden away is not only fair to your friends, but it's not fair to yourself.
You did nothing wrong; you have a lot to offer to the world.
Good luck.
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The best thing to do is go to therapy... they'll help you get over this... & whatever u do DONT tell ur friends about it... u tell one person... ur unlocking ur secret to everyone u know... if they ask why ur soo cold tell them that u have problems that u dont feel comfortable discussing... if they try to force u to tell them... simply state... " if im not comfortable telling im not... how would u like it if i tried to force u to tell me sumthing " i know that soundz cold... but once that is said... they'll realize how serious you are... ur school should have therapist...
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I'm so sorry to hear this! I'd write things down. Just pour everything out into a private notebook. Write poems, they help. You can also listen to music and read good books. If you really want to, you can tell a really really close friend about how you are feeling. It might help a lot. Good luck and I hope things get better for you.
*Randy T*
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Talk to a trusted teacher or councilor. And hey, that whole confidentiality thing is a load of bull. I was in guidence today, trying to talk to a councilor, and they called home. Your best bet is to send anonymous e-mails to a trusted teacher and ask them for some help. Thats what I was doing, and I got the help I needed. Truly, talking it out is the best way. Tell your friends you have something really serious to tell them, and then spill. If they are truly your friends they will listen, and be totally shocked! It'll get better. I'm so sorry for what happened. I mean out of all the people in the world, your cousin. Thats a disgusting thing, and it is in NO way your fault. You have a sick pervert for a cousin, and he should go screw his mother, that's probably the only person that would have him. Hope you can get over this horrid thing, and that your jerk of a cousin is put in jail. Good luck with everything!
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Im so sorry to here that. first of all u need to sit ur friends down and tell them. B4 tellin them ask them to stand by u and no that it happened a long time ago but it is still hard for u. If they r ur friends they will accept this and help u out. Also u need to no that these r good ppl and will not do this to u again. Not all ppl r like ur cuzin. Also talk to ur parents about what happened. good luck.
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I just wanna say i'm really sorry about what happened to you.It happened to my cousin almost a year ago.Tell your friends that you have a really emotional and horrible past and it's just hard for you to trust people.If they ask why and if your comfortable let them know what happened and how that effected you.I dont know if you already do this or have thoguht about it but i know you can go to consueling to help, thats what my cousin does to help her and it seems to help.Hope i helped.
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WOW!! raped by your own cuzin? that is harsh sad and ridiculous!! well i no that it is hard telling your turest and best friends somthing like this sometimes! but... you sould deff tell them! you can tell them... hey name... i no you are woundering y i am cold and hard sometimes... and it isnt ez for me to say this... when i was very little i was raped by my cuzin... someone i though i could trust... and continue wid your convo and how you felt and blah blah blah!!
HOPE I HELPD!!
~MICHELLE
ps if you ever need to talk just contact me!! qtmichelle26 or qtmichelle26@aol.com
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Your friends don't think your a cold shell, otherwise they wouldn't be your friends. And you should be older now and able to tell more clearly who you can and can't trust, if you can't try opening your mind a little more, you can't live on fear of something that hasn't happened yet, and probably won't happen again. And getting help might not be so bad, even if it's from your friends.
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go talk to someone- it doesn't nessacarily even need to be a therapist or phsycologist, but someone you feel comfterble talking to. If you don't feel ready to tell your friends, thats ok. just let them know that you're going through some hard emotional things now, and that what you really need is just to know that they're there for you. if none of this works, going to a therapist really helps. trust yourself, and eventually you'll trust others
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