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My group of friends and I have been really close for a long time, until recently. We were all loyal to eachother and thought that we could put lots of trust into eachother...until we found out some things about this girl Cara. She had been saying bad things about all of us behind our backs. Individually! We all knew that she had been doing this for awhile and we kinda excepted it as being her. We would nod our head when she talked about another friend, but wouldn't participate in the verbal backstab. You see, she told every one of us that we each were the only ones that she could trust and the only ones that really understood her. That made us special and feel that we could trust her. WRONG! recently we found out that she had been doing this for years and giving verbal beatings to all of her so called friends behind their backs. Its not even that that ticks us off so much. You see, she always is depressed and moody and ruining our fun by being sad about things that she say are happening at home or at school, but in reality, she has a great mom and dad, and is getting excellent grades. We all didn't talk to her for one week and she retaliated. she told anyone with ears all about how we were all jerks. Than the next day, she acts all sad and trys to apologize. She says that she's truly sorry and all and we all want to forgive her. She says that she is going to change and she needs our help and just wants us back. So naturally we forgive her....but today she started talking about us and acting all depressed and moody again! We have no idea what to do because even though she is a mean jerk, she's that kind of person that you want to hate, but you miss and you want them to miss you and like you. She will also spread rumors about us if we be mean to her. We are so confused at what to do. It doesn't help that we all go to the same school, so we can't just ignore her because were in a lot of the same classes. HELP!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Sorry, but you and your friends need to leave this girl alone. She is no one I would want to be friends with! If you really care for her suggest she get some counseling from the Guidance Counselor. Until she does, I wouldn't associate with her.
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i think ur friend is starving for attention. i think that if u ignore the "depressed moods" and the way she acts like she has problems then she might lay off a little but. but maybe she really does have family problems and just becuase it seems like her parents are nive when uve met them doesnt mean they really are. people wear disguises to hide from their real self. maybe the things that she tells u are true. i think that maybe u should go to the school counceler and tell her the things the girl tells u is going on. and ask the councelor not to bring u or any of ur firneds name into it. just say that someone overheard her saying things that were seriious. and just ask the counceler to help her out a little bit and talk to her about it. tell ur firned that u love her to death anf you want to help her but she cant be treating you and ur "clique" the way she does. young girls are always catty with eachother and are constandy feuding and fighting with eachother. i think u should just ignore the rumors and ignore her when she does stuff just act like everythings okay and ignore the childish things she does.
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Well that's exactly what Cara wants. She wants you all to develop some sort of an attachment to her and she drains your mental energy by profusely talking about sad happenings in her life.
Generally, it's best to stay away from people like this. At least disconnect yourself gradually until the bond completely breaks. It's not necessary to have such negativity around all the time, or at all for that matter.
You don't have to ignore her. Just voice your opinion when she begins her constant verbal beatings. Mention that none of you are in favour for it. Do this when you and your other group of friends are there and they will take your side. It does seem like you are ganging up on her, but it also seems like she's done a good job ganging up on you guys without you even noticing.
In a way, she feels 'powerful' when she is venting about other people and she's grown accustomed to regaining her status in this manner.
At least if you all voice your opinion when she begins blabbing about someone else, she'll get the point. She may get defensive, but that's a natural reaction. If she is smart, she will work on bettering herself.
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This girl seems like a jerk but I still think you should be nice to her and ask her what is bothering her and tell her to please stop talking about you and your friends. Tell her that to make friends you have to be a friend and tell her that shes not being much of a friend when she talks about you behind your back. Just tell her that you want to be her friend and eventually she will change. I hope i helped! <3 Juliet <3
p.s *RATE ME!!*
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omgod wow.. im kind of in that situation right now.. if shes going to be a bitch and lemme tel u how im dealin with mine.. u gotta give her time to fess up and admit she was wrong and prove to u shes sorry .. now like the person im in shit with.. shes not the type to dot hat... so u just gotta ignore it cuz she will stop her bullshit in a matter of time wen she realizes dat its not affecting u.. i kno its hard cuz she means so much to u bt ur worth more than worrying buot wut a helpless lil bitch thinks... so u can either try talking to her or moving on bcuz ur so much better than to let someone put u down everyday! hope i helped
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