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I give up
I gave up on love awhile ago..even though I don't want to, it just happened. Most of the guys I've dated were jerks. I don't trust guys and I resent all of my ex's and I can't help it. I haven't met a single guy in my school or area that was decent and I'm really starting to hate men. I'm not going to like females but I don't understand why men are such jerks. Someone help?
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Why do chicks dig jerks?
Copyright © 1996 Drew Mcpherson
The human condition promotes learning through trial and error; it is a fatiguing and often frustrating means of education. Women are excellent teachers of the bitter lesson that being a nice guy does not get a man laid. An "average" guy (who is often the one most capable of love and trust) is routinely brushed off as a "loser", and passed over for an abusive jerk who screeches up in a Porsche, scores, and disappears. So in a woman's mind, if a man is nice, he's weak. The nice guy wanders through life in a state of psychic castration, his heart scarred by the talons of female avarice and flawed psychology. He is a poor fool who has listened too literally to the women who lie that what they want from men is adoration and understanding. He has not suffered enough trial and error to lay bare the clandestine agendas of the female gender. So the nice guy has to settle for the vicarious company of flirting with a photo in a magazine delivered in a plain brown wrapper. But what of the "bad boy" phenomenon? Every man knows, or has seen in action, that the more he abuses women, the more successful he will be in attracting them; and the nicer he is, the more likely he will wind up as a "friend". But most men are socialized to cultivate harmony, not discord, and so they refuse to participate in such pathology. Most men are nice guys, who have no interest in acting like jerks to women. Logic would suggest that a woman would want to avoid being brutalized, so why then does she so lustfully climb up on the back of a Harley, instead of, as usual, wait for a limo to appear? The answer has to be unraveled from the tangled mess of feminine psychology. What a woman really wants is a rich bastard who turns out in the end to be a nice guy-he is the storybook hero of her novels and soap operas. But she will settle-for the short term, at least-for a poor thug who can offer her excitement. In her muddled vision of the world, she equates abusive behavior with earning power, because she assumes that television and the movies actually mirror reality, so that successful men are always conniving, ruthless, and underhanded. Bad boys are untamed and reckless and charged with sexuality. They are a "challenge" (meaning that they don't instantly fall prey to her Pussy Power). Flexing their Neanderthal biceps they are apt to drag her off to the nearest cave, and she can feel-for once-powerless in their grip, a rape fantasy come to life. A woman's hormone-driven "logic" will equate excitement with money, at least until she tires of eating at taco joints. She glories in the sensation of raw adventure-it is the same thrill which ripples through her when a rich boyfriend pampers her and indulges her every whim. For as long as she dallies with the bad boy-and it will be brief because his budget is in his pants-she can afford to let herself be wild, to experience unfettered humanity, to freely express her sexuality as nature intended. For a few racing heartbeats she will cease to be a whore and become a human being. And when the fling is over, her "morality" has not been compromised in any way-she can reconstruct her delusional self-image by accusing the bad boy of abusing her.
The average woman is a spoiled child, a selfish and arrogant bundle of desires, raised to be a rapacious taker from men. By the age of 5 or 6 a little girl has learned to scramble up onto Daddy's lap and to manipulate him with flowing tears or a sly look or a downturned face. He responds by taking care of her every need. Daddy is only nobly trying to insulate his little girl from what he knows to be a hard world, but unfortunately he's green-lighting her future as an abuser of men. She has already begun to grasp the raw power of her femininity-by acting "female" she can get anything she wants from a man. For some reason these tactics don't seem to work very well on Mommy, so she understands that her power draws its energy from the opposite gender. By the time her breasts begin to swell and her figure rounds into soft curves, she's discovered exactly how this power works. She is well aware of the effect she has on the boys around her, how much they seem to lust after her ripening body. The more they want her, the more she realizes the value of her commodity. She exults in her new-found strength, sensing its awesome potential, and even chuckles haughtily to herself at the boys who ogle her when she wiggles by. She understands that she is in control-this is something she can use to her advantage. It is the birth of an attitude which will ruin normal relationships with men for the rest of her life.
Meanwhile, Mom and Church, witnessing the verge of her womanhood, begin to instruct her to withhold sex, sermonizing that her body is a "gift" which she must save to give to "someone special". But it's too late. She's already learned that it's not a gift, but stock in trade-boys are waiting in line to bring her presents and compete for her attention. She really doesn't understand what all the fuss is about, why they are so intent on "getting into her pants". She has already assimilated the knowledge that her body is a tool, to be used for gain, not pleasure. Her mother continually warns her that "nice girls don't", and the more she holds out, the bigger the pile of presents grows. She doesn't realize that "nice girls don't" is just a euphemism for dishonest prostitution; that as she flirts and sticks out her breasts and wears sexually provocative clothing she is exchanging the promise of sex for gifts (money). And Mom is frantic to make sure that she remains a "good girl" (dishonest whore), so she teaches her that if a boy really likes you, he'll: take you out (spend money on you); date you exclusively (he's willing to let you train him, and he won't be wasting the resources he could be giving to you on other girls); and not demand sex in return (play the game by your rules, so that you can extort as much money as possible from him without obligation before surrendering your "gift", if you do at all). Mom is teaching her that for women, love is power; for men, it is enslavement. The greater a man's sexual needs, the more obedient he will be forced to become. If she manages her "gift" astutely, the payoff will be a lifetime of ease without her ever having to lift a finger.
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Guys are jerks sometimes. But don't look for love, let it find you. Don't worry, you have your hole life. One day when you don't expect it love will come your way =)
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I don't think anyone understands why guys are the way they are. lol But I don't think you should give up on guys or love. Just hang out with friends.You don't always have to be in a realationship to be happy.But if you just wait around for a while.. you may meet the man of your dreams and not even mean to! And he will be great and everything you ever wanted! So..try this and let me know if it works!
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Simply, its in their blood. lol. No seriously though. It could be that you just havent found the right person for you. Are all the men youve dated had anything in common? *besides being, "jerks"?* Its possible that all you need is to do a little research. Maybe you need to look Beyond looks, or hair color, or eye color and dig deeper. Theres ALWAYS someone out there =D
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don't give up on men all together. so u had some bad luck but there could still be someone who is meant for u out there and if u stop looking u'll never find them. now i'm not saying be obsessed wit finding that person but don't give up either. maybe u'll find them outside of school. hope u don't end up hating ALL men.
~Reenie~
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well highschool boys are always jerks... theres only a few who aren't jerks are either taken or you already went out with them... but don't give up on love... theres someone out there for everyone... and you find them when your ready
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please tell me ur not gonna give up. the game of love isnt over yet. the right guy will come along soon enough! not all men are jerks, wait till u see the other side of them.. its still early to say. forget the past relationships, look forward to a new one that might be just around the corner. dun take this one for granted, relationships are fragile and need to be handled with loads of care. good luck! <33 -Rei
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I'm in a rut like that. All of the guys I've dated are jerks, even the "nice" one turned out to be a jerk eventually. Because of my past relationships, I don't trust any guys. My ability to not trust anyone has hurt me when guys try to get close to me now. I tend to push them away because I think they're only lying to get into bed.
Maybe it's not that you haven't met any decent guys, but you don't trust anyone enough to see that they really are decent.
In my situation, one of the guys that I pushed away turned out to be really sweet and honest and monogamous to his current girlfriend. I felt like a jerk for pushing him away so much.
While the vast majority of guys, or people in general, are not worth your time... Maybe there are one or two people out there. You'll find them eventually.
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I know exactly how you feel. Scratch that, a lot of my friends know exactly how you feel (I'm a guy. Knowing exactly how you feel would required me to go through some major changes). Well, it could have something to do with your age. I was an asshole when I was your age, completely immature, much like the rest of the guys I knew. There's a maturity gap at this age, girls mature faster than guys for some reason.
To be perfectly honest, I think a lot of guys treat girls the way they do because they can. Some of my closer friends cheat on their girlfriends, flirt with girls when theirs no chance of them going out, etc. When I try to understand why, the only reason I can think of is because they can. They really don't take other's feelings into consideration. They mainly just concentrate on their own needs. Basically, they're all selfish.
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hi
gurl it's hard trying to find mr. right but it's going to take awhile so just be carefull of who u chose to date because some men can be different always be open to all types of guy u just had your share of bad ones but you'll find the right one one day hope this helps
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okay thats how men are, they will always be jerks, so for now i think you should lay low for awhile and stay single as long as you can and then when you find Mr. right you can go out with him and then if it dosn't work out just dump him first b4 he can hurt you
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