I'm 16, and my dad still treats me like I'm a "little girl". My mom and I, we get along so well, because she treats me like a young adult, but my father raises hell whenever I ask him to do ANYTHING. We see a family psycologist, and not even that helps. He's just so effing stubborn. I tell him allll the time " dad I'm not a little girl anymore", but it just doesn't get through to him. I know he's going through this "phase", but isn't over 3 years a little much? I am an only child, and a model, and I know he hates to see me take pictures and wear clothes that expose my stomach and it's just a lot to take. He tells me I have no future because I failed one year of math with exelent effort, and that I'll never make it. He puts me down and makes me feel so effing shitty. It's like he wants my respect, but he doesn't give it back. Any advice at all pllease.
Way2InLuvWitU answered Monday August 23 2004, 5:55 pm: hmm.. u are in a tough situation. its like u wanna get along with him but its juss so frustrating when he keeps putting u down. i have similar problems with my parents and i know how discouraging it is (i am also and only child). i think its sota like that with only children bc in general parents have such high expectations of us. i totally get how u feel! explain to your dad that even tho u may have failed u tryed your hardest and thats the best a person can do. if that doesnt work and uve tryed everything to make him understand then screw him! focus on ur modeling and forget what he says
-hope i helped-
lea* [ Way2InLuvWitU's advice column | Ask Way2InLuvWitU A Question ]
russianspy1234 answered Monday August 23 2004, 3:11 pm: well im 18 and my mom still thinks of me as her little boy. she gives me slack though so its ok for me. anyways failing math will definitely put a damper in your future, modeling wont last forever. im not saying give it up but retake math finish high school, goto to college etc basically jsut have a back up plan [ russianspy1234's advice column | Ask russianspy1234 A Question ]
Sunshine answered Monday August 23 2004, 4:09 am: It's hard for any father to admit that his little girl is growing up. Unfortunately, in his eyes you will always be his little girl.
As for the things he says about your future, the best thing for him to do is prove him wrong. Use his negativity as inspiration to make you try even harder. [ Sunshine's advice column | Ask Sunshine A Question ]
xxoBriannax answered Sunday August 22 2004, 10:15 pm: Ugh, tell him that the things he says hurts you and that your mom doesn't treat you like he does. Also, that you would really like it if he gave you more slack, I mean you are growing up. Good luck.
LilMia811 answered Sunday August 22 2004, 10:08 pm: well tell him that... tell him you want his respect. you give it to him, why shouldnt you get it back. you are not a little kid, you are 16. he should be happy that you are not out doing the nasty shit most freakin 14 years old are doing. and tell him to stop putting you down, thats only gonna make the relationship you guys have worst. doesnt he want the kind of relationship with you that your mom has? tell him you want one with him. [ LilMia811's advice column | Ask LilMia811 A Question ]
yellowcardluver08 answered Sunday August 22 2004, 9:55 pm: Okay, you need to talk to him and you need to do it now. When your in the car or somewhere where he can't ignore you talk to him. Say Dad, you need to listen to me and please don't inturrupt. You want me to be a sucessful person right? (Obviously its ratorical so don't let him say yes, keep him quiet) Then you need to let me be. I need your support. Not as your little girl but as your daughter who is driving, modeling and growing up. Also, in a few years I'll be in college, how do you expect me to act mature as I should be then and now, if you're treating me as if I was a 7 year old girl. I hate arguing with you dad so please please try, I know its hard for you but you need to let go of that and be a supporting dad.
xxKillerQueen answered Sunday August 22 2004, 9:29 pm: I have the same problem with my own dad. He thinks I'm still innocent and know nothing. But what you need to do is fight for your rights. Actually go a little over the edge to show him that you're not little anymore. Whatever it takes. Because it just takes that much to crack some people at times. But don't you ever throw a tantrum and start crying. That is not mature. And you are trying to prove that you ARE mature.
But there is positive things to your dad. You say that he knows your a model and studd. If he really was that all over protective about you, he wouldn't have let you become a model, or to make things less severe maybe gave you hassle about it more than he does.
What you need to do is sit down with your dad and explain to him that you are going to make it, and that if he respects and believesin you he'll support your decisions in life and know that you'll make it. Tell him putting you down does not help. Tell him that you make an effort, and that should be good enough for him.
I think you are just fine right where you are at this point in your life. But now you need your dad to start thinking that.
Mandee answered Sunday August 22 2004, 9:27 pm: Having your own father put you down all of the time is a hard thing to cope with. What I'm guessing is that your dad has had his parents become rough on him when he was young to, and children learn ways of parenting from watching how their parents raised them. Are you an only child? Maybe because you are his only child he feels like he will never get a chance to raise a child again. And he may be having a very hard time letting go because he knows that you are his only child. Even if that isn't the reason behind this, there is a reason for his behavior towards you. The problem is that he is not learning to accept that you are growing and maturing and he can't handle that. It's painful for him to see. Like I said he probably has a hard time letting go maybe because of deaths in the family. I'm not sure. You really should talk to him no matter how many times you have before. And don't lose your patience. Be very kind when you speak with him, speak like an adult. I think you will have to earn his acceptance if you want it that bad. Not relying on other people should be a good start and let your parents know that you are independant. Talking to you dad saying that " Dad, I have a life of my own and when I get older I'll have to decide what I want to do, not anybody else. And I will make it in the future, maybe if I studied more and worked harder during school this would be a way to improve myself. I really want your support because I know that I can make it, and even if you doubt that at least try and give me some encouragement. Modeling is a job for me, and I know it's hard for you to see me showing skin, but this is what I love to do. Even if you are against it, it's what I need to do not because I just have to but because I want to. And I want you there for me to, I respect you guiding me in the right direction, but please let me chose which way to go on my own because that's how you learn in life." But hun, if that still doesn't grab his attention and he still does not support your decision you'll just have to go your own way. But at least you'll know that no matter how much people try and put you down you'll become stronger from it! Good luck with everything and never give up...because if you work hard enough you can achieve anything you want!! Love Always, Mandee [ Mandee's advice column | Ask Mandee A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.