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Is she really a friend?
I apologize if this ends up being really long, but I thought I'd ask.
I've been friends with this girl, we'll call her Sabrina, since the 8th grade. We grew to be really close really fast and ended up going to the same high school. That's kind of a big deal since we live in Chicago and most kids separate after grade school.
Anyway, we remained best friends up until I had a tough time in early 2003 and ended up dropping out of school. We lost contact up until a couple of months ago. The fact that we didn't keep in touch is pretty much my fault. I apologized for it, she appears to have forgiven me and we started hanging out again.
Sabrina is 18 now and recently moved in with her boyfriend because she was unhappy living with her mom. Only, now that she lives with her boyfriend, he wants to maintain complete control of her life, including who she hangs out with.
He told her she wasn't allowed to hang out with me anymore and she's actually obliging him.
I don't know if I should just deal with it and talk to her whenever I can, or if I should just let her know we shouldn't be friends at all anymore or what! I'm pretty hurt. Any advice would be appreciated and I will rate everyone who responds. Thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Her boyfriend sounds like a jackass, no one should be controling her life, but her. There's no reason not to be friends with her and not speak to her anymore. You should get together, a day where she can just hangout with you and her boyfriend not be around. You should talk to her about it and tell her that he boyfriend is controling her life. She probably knows it but doesn't have anyone to turn to. She could also be scared if she confronts her boyfriend about this that he wouldn't want to be with her anymore. Then she wouldn't have a place to say, and couldn't go back to her moms. Just be there for her and don't stop being friends with her, maybe she really needs someone to talk to.
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Honestly their is no reason to not be friends with her. A matter of fact this is a time when she probably needs you the most. Nobody wants to be in a dominating relationship. I mean I know it is hard when you "love" somebody but you don't let them control your life. So no don't stop being friends with her, keep faith in her and you are probably going to be a support of the friendship. But help her out of it and you to will be closer then ever. If you need anything drop me a note in my inbox...and I can help you any more that you need to be. Good Luck and God Bless
Megan-
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Tell someone soon because that was like my parents, my dad controlled my mom and she couldn't get away. i don't want her to end up how my parents did.. and you can help
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dear friend,
TELL SOMEONE! TELL YOUR PARENTS! TELL THE COPS! This girl is being abused
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it sounds to me that her boyfriend is gonna be one of those contolling types. id keep a close eye on him, he also sounds like the abusing type. and the title for your question ("is she really a friend?") well, i dont think its her fault that she cant talk to you so...
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Alrighty. Well her boyfriend sounds like a jackass. She should probably realize that she shouldn't have a boyfriend that does that to her. If I was in your shoes, I would go up and talk to her boyfriend (after making sure Sabrina is okay with it). Tell him how you feel about him not allowing Sabrina to hang out with you. Also try to mention that you have been friends since 8th grade and obviously that's a really long time. If he doesn't change the way he is allowing Sabrina to live, talk to Sabrina and tell her that this guy is not a very good boyfriend to be controling her life like this. Be nice about it because you don't want to ruin your friendship. She how she responds to that and I hope I helped. Good Luck!!
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You may be the only contact she has with the world outside her relationship. Eventually he will do something that will push her away hopefully. You can try to tell her what you think is going on, and that he is abusing her. If there is anyone else you can tell about this that she would listn to, tell them. Its no fun living with someone who won't let you be yourself, and sometimes you are so "in love" that you don't see it or the way out.
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