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i have liked this guy(lets call him *B*) for about 8 months. he has changed my life completely around. i like him so much, i can talk to him about anything. and he makes me feel like a princess. he is like the ideal guy. except he has changed me and not for the best. before i used to be the sweetest girl who wouldn't make-out with guys a lot. but now all my friends are like to me "god you spend all your time with him now" and their all like "its not my fault.. cuz *B* is kinda controling" Now last nite my bestfriend told me that eventually i am gonna have to choose between haveing *ALL* my good friends or the GUY!.. but i like him soo much!!!!What should i do?? PLEASE HELP ME!
--troubled
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
i know right now he means the world to you but are you willing to give up lets say 10 really good friends for just one boy whos changed you but not to someone you wanna be? . . if you like him as much as i think you do you need to talk to him and tell him that you like him a lot and stuff but you need to be with your friends too and stuff like that im sure he'll understand too im sure he needs his guy friends too. and if he is really controlling you don't need to be around that because it could lead to worse things and trust me i've seen taht happen. <3
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You really need to tell "b" that your life doesnt revolve around him!... and that yall need to spend time with friends! b/c if u and "B" break up and you have no friends... u will have no one to talk to or nething!.... but ur friends also need to know that he is an important person in you life now and you will be spending time with him also. if they still dont agree with you spending time with him and them well then they werent you good friends after all : / ... hope this helps you out!
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If this guy really liked he would understand u need friend time tellhim no one controls u but u and u miss ur friends and would like to spend more time with them if he gets mad then he's not worth ur time i know it's hard giveing up a guy u really like but there are alot of other guy's out there dont lose ur friends over a guy but do what u feel is right follow ur heart email me at AskDanni@aol.com to letmeknow how all goes later -Danielle
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"except he has changed me and not for the best"
I am not sure what you mean. He treats you like a princess and changed you life around...and your friends don't like him...
HOW has he changed your life?
Ask your friends what bothers them about him. You shouldn't pick between them and the guy you love. He must be doing something wrong that makes you friends not like him.
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If *B* treats you like a princess he should let you be with your friends too. Everyone changes when they get a boyfriend. You can go from sweet innocent girl to a girl who wants to be with her boyfriend every second of the day. Thats only natural.just include your friends in somethings that you and *B* do. it doesn't have to be everything and you don't always have to be with *B* either. you can have quality time with your friends then go have quality time with *B* and then other times just all be together. but don't let *B* break your friendship up. Your friends will be there for you forever, *B* may not be there all time like you want him to. you don't have to choose between having friends or *B* thats not how it should be. YOur true friends will accept like you like *B* and understand that you still want to be friends. The ones who don't are the kind of people you want to be around.
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spend more time with your friends, show them that he is NOT controlling you.....but still hang out wiht him, and all.
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He is kinda controlling? Sweetheart you have to get out of that my *B* is kind of controlling to and it's hard for me and we have been dating a year and close to 5 months. I am so close now i can't get away, even though it'd be the best thing for me to do. My friends gripe about me never having time and i'm like well *B* won't let me go anywhere, so they all hate *B* and *B* calls all of them sluts and stuff.. it's terrible when your friends and bf's can't get along. Tell *B* you need to hang out with your friends to.. and he needs to not act so controlling and bossy that if he loved you he wouldn't act that way.
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--Troubled
I have the same trouble with my friends. and what I did was I went and talked to them and said that I like this guys alot and I that I had no intention of breaking it off with him. And that we have known eachother for a long time and that I will stop hanging out with the guy all the time but I will no stopseeing him maybe a few times a week would be best. But remember guys will b around for a while but goood friends will b around for a life time
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My advice would be to try and balance out time with friends and *B*. Guys come and go, but friends are usually forever. But then again it sounds like you really like this guy. Another thing is to talk to B. If you dont like how hes treating you (being controlling) you should change it! And DO NOT be afraid, if he wont change, hes not the guy for you! Think of what would happen in the long run if you chose B. All your friends would be gone! But if you chose all your friends... think about it! Good Luck Babe!
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Hi, you have a responsibility to make sure that there is a BALANCE between how much time you spend with your friends and how much time you spend with your boyfriend.
Your friends must feel left out and hurt, because it sounds like since you started seeing this boy, you don't seem to have time for your friends at all! I'm sure you want to be with this boy as much as possible, but don't neglect your friends because you'll miss them when they're gone. Make time for your friends, let them know you still value their friendship and show them you care. They at least deserve that much. They are still sweet enough to blame your boyfriend and not you for all this. They think he's too controlling. Well, is he? No one has the right to make you choose between friends and a boyfriend. They are all important part of your life and your friends as well as your boyfriend should accept that fact and respect you for it. So, if you can't strike that balance because your boyfriend is too controlling, then it's time to seriously think about if he is really right for you or not. I'm sure you can't even see one tiny fault in him at the moment. But a righy guy will have a positive influence on you because relationship is all about 'give and take'.
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Tell them that you can't choose between your friends and him because it's not right. You want both of them in your life and you have to spend time with him sometime...if he is taking ALL of your time away from your friends...talk to him about it. Some days why don't all of you hang out? Try to get some of his friends hooked up with some of your friends and that should help a lot. Just let them know how you feel.
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This is a tough question. If you feel like B is controlling you, then it's not a good relationship to be in. You, your friends, and B all need to have a talk together, so you can all figure out whats going on. You also need to tell B that even though you love him, he doesn't own you, and you still need time for your friends.
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awww if he's soo good to you and makes you feel like a princess, dont let him go!! guys like him only come along every so often... now about ur friends doing that..that's SO wrong! think about it... if they truly cared about you and were supposedly your "friends" then why would they make you choose!? thats terrible!! if theyre ur bestfriends they should understand that rightnow u just wanna spend some time with him and get to know him a lil better and see what happens... tell them that! say somethin like hey, im sorry im not with u guys as much as i was before, but i really like him, and i just wanna see whats gonna happen!! and try to make some time for them... or get all of yall together, like ur friends (and some other guys so he doesnt feel left out or anything lol) and hangout at the mall or go to the movies or do somethin fun together so they dont think ur totally into him and not them at all anymore!! but im sorry that theyre doin that to u! if u need any more help with ANYTHING feel free to ask me!! or IM me on aim!! (oxbarbiebabiiexo) :)
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Troubled,
lets see, first things first, talk to *B* about him controlling too much, tell him you really like him but it's effecting everything in your life and you do NOT need that right now, or any time in your lifetime. Tell your friends you talked to him, tell them your sorry but youve fallen head over heels for this kid and they need to be supportive of you and no be so angry at you for being a normal girl. If that doesn't work out, i would say pick your friends, if that guy changes you NOT for the better..you dont need that at all.
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Dear Troubled,
Ooh, that's a tough one but here's what I can say to help you out. I was in this same situation but it was with my bff and these other girls who I really really liked. I went with my bestfriend and we have been there for eachother for like 6 years. I know you like him, and he sounds like he means alot to you; however, your friends are the most important things in life(next to family) because they carry you out of so many hard situations even if you don't know it. I can't tell you exactly what to do, but it sounds like *B* is going to get to controlling in the future, and those relationships are a pain in the butt and miserable. If he likes you the way you think he does, talk to him and tell him how you want to be with him and your friends and tell him how much BOTH mean to you, because no one should make you choose between those two. Good luck with this!
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