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Why do people belittle others for asking a question?
This really bothers me. My mother-in-law in particular does this. First of all, to those that do this, STOP IT! Nobody knows everything. Just because you know something that someone else does'nt know, that does not make you better or smarter than them. And even if you are smarter, let's say more educated, you can still be respectful when answering a question. This also applies to you advice people. I'll give you an example that happened today with my mother-in-law. She is getting her house painted and I asked her why her house had spots all over it, and she answers in this patronizing way " They have to fill in all the holes and cracks, they can't just leave it like that and slap paint on it. Well excuuuse me. I don't know anything about painting houses, and I told her that I didn't realize that's what they were doing, and she didn't have to make me feel dumb. Then she says that it was a dumb question. She is so rude and hurtful it makes me so angry. If it was me, and I knew about house-painting, and someone asked me this question I would have simply and politely stated that it was spackle to fill in the holes and cracks. I guess some people like to lord it over people even about stupid things just to make themselves feel superior. If this happens again, with her or someone else, can someone give me an example of a good comeback or tell me how to handle myself better? I ended up saying "Thanks for making me feel stupid." Which I'm sure was not the best way to respond. She didn't say anything. Smug people really bug me!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Do you think you would get along well with your mother-in-law if she didn't make these patronising comments? Probably not, because it seems to be her way of making sure you get the message that she doesn't like you. She could be jealous. She perhaps still can't accept you as a member of her family. Who knows?
I know you're angry and upset understandably because no one wants and deserves to be treated like a fool. But honestly these people are not worth it. Don't stoop to their level by saying something sarcastic back. It may make you feel better but if you do, they'll know they can get to you. Instead, if you still want to say something, calmly tell the other person that there was absolutely no need for them to be patronising, it was a simple enough question and that you do not appreciate being spoken to in that way. Mention the fact that you're both adults, so you should be civil to each other like grown up adults should be. They may come back again with rude and hurtful comments, but at least by doing that they've just proved your point that they're acting childishly.
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I usually just sarcastically say what's on my mind, and the tone used is what usually pisses them off. Like in that question, I'd say,"Forgive me for asking such a stupid question. I forgot the all knowing queen of house paint's wisdom should have already been spread throughout the kingdom. All Hail the queen of house paint." I know it sounds stupid, but if you say it in an insulting sarcastic manner, she'll feel stupid and annoyed no matter what you say. And just keep going with what you said before. Like if she says, "Well, it's common sense." i would follow with, "Common sense to the queen of house paint" It may not mean much, but it'll take her opinion of her superiority down a natch or two. Yeah, I hate people who belittle others like that.
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YES!!! I totally agree and understand! My grandmother is like this too and so are a lot of advicenators on here! I don't think any question is stupid if you don't know the answer.
I once asked a question about becoming a pastry chef and I got an answer that said "grow up and quit wasting our time"
I personaly think that you can't say much more to make her understand. You said right about the fact that you didn't know about painting houses. and if she didn't appalogize well i think that she is just that.
One more thing I don't think that come backs are any better. because that may make her more steamed. just do what I do and when she gives you a rude answer say thanks I didn't know that or some thing.
anyways
good question!
advice~gurl
kat
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Tell her that you learned that there is no dumb questions, only dumb answers. That always seemed to work for me. There is really no way to fix this sitution. But when she ask you a question about something be smug right back at her and give her or whoever a taste of there own medicane.
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