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My sister is with a loser
My sister, who is almost 20 years old, is with a guy who is totally wrong for her. He never takes her out on dates, or buys her anything, (not meaning that material things are that important but come on...), and the second she gets her paycheck he turns around with his hand out, telling her that he deserves some money for some reason or another. She is in college right now, and I can tell that this guy is ruining her life. She has dropped a lot of classes just because she doesn't have time for them because she has to go help him with his kid (from a previous relationship)or some other chore that she really has nothing to do with. He wont let her hang out with her old friends, because they might make her "disloyal" to him, in his opinion. I keep telling her that she needs to back off and find a better guy who has her interests at heart, but her response is "you haven't been in a relationship like tihs, when you're in love you have to make certain sacrifices" I don't know, maybe it's just my opinion, but when you're in love, you normally don't break up at least twice a week. (4 times so far since the beginning of April...today is the seventh...) Am I overacting or am I right in trying to convince her to ditch the guy? And how do I go about convincing her?
Concerned Sister
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No offense, but he is a loser!! He is a total dictator over her and that is not fair to her. She works hard for her money and that is not fair that she has to give it to him. If he isn't working, then he don't need to have his lazy hand stretched out for some money. Sacrifices aren't giving up college classes or your friends for some guy that you probably won't be with for the rest of your life and then those years are down the drain and you can't take them back because it is too late. You aren't overreacting. I am the oldest our of 5 girls and my lil sis would be worried bout me if I was giving up my spare time for some dude. If she loves him, then she needs to talk to him seriously there are problems in their relationship. may be we can chat sometimes.
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well talk to yur sis and tell her to break up and if she doesnt she will eventually trust me
fallen angel
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Concerned sister, you need to tell your sister how you feel but break it down easy to her . Tell her she doesn't have to be devoted to this guy like this because, he's not fully devoted to her.
Tell her that she needs to stop seeing this guy because, he has kids . Those kids are his responsibility not hers . He's the one who had them . Tell her not to give up her college classes because, this guy is not worth it . He doesn't even care . She is very dedicated to him but she has to let him go . Break this down easy to her . If you need anymore advice go to ask Courtney pr email me at Courtney@hwynet.com .
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well this guy sounds like a loser a big loser tell you sister whats on your mind and if she thinks that he is good for her tell her whats been happing in her life and whathappend in her life with out him if that dosent work tell her that she is only hurting herslef by being with a loser
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You are right. It sounds like she is in what will turn out to be a classic abusive relationship. She needs counseling. There really isn't a lot you can do until she realizes her part in it, which is believing she is not worth better treatment.
Here is one website that lists warnings. There are a lot more websites about domestic violence out there.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Well all you can really do is keep telling her you are worried about her relationship and that you care about her. But don't give her too much crap about her boyfriend, because it's her boyfriend, and if you affend him, you affend her. She might end up getting mad at you. so just be careful about how you approach telling her that her boyfriend sucks.
Unfourtantly it is her life, not yours, and she has the right to make the choices she does.
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You know what if he says "disloyal to him" then you know what I think he's trying to take your sisters money and her college career he's probably trying to get her to do everthing that he dosen't want to do himself and if they get married, your sister's life may be ruined. And to convince her you should write down everything you think is wrong with him show it to your sister and tell her if she notices anything on therethat he's doing.
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Dear Concerned,
I think that what you told your sister was right.I mean if that guy just wants her to take care of him-self then he is not right for her.You are not overacting, you just love your sister and you do to want her to hurt.Now trying to convince him.I am not so sure on trying to convince him.Ask her to look into her life with him, tell her is going to be a mess.Good Luck
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You should keep talking to her, let her know what a shit this guy is. However at the end of the day it's her decision to ditch him, if she dosen't want to then she won't.
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You should talk to her. Soon, he could tell her not to visit even her own family.
About the "sacrifices" part, tell her that it seems that he is not doing anything for her. If she says he is, ask her WHAT they are.
If they broke up four times in a week, clearly he is wrong for her. All he wants is for her to act stupid, waste her time, and get whatever it is he can get from her. He is not making her life better, and you SHOULD butt in. She is your sister.
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