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Poems
My heart once was broken Untill I found you...
You took my heart,
You took some glue,
You put it back together,
And I thank you.
If I had a choice to live or die by your side,
I would die in an instant.
"Just Die"
I sit here cold and lonely,
I hear you whisper,
I hear you cry,
Why cant you just die?
You're my fears,
You're my tears,
I can see you here,
You're everywhere,
I can't stop what I have begun,
My Love is endless,
It's driving me insane!
Please turn out the lights,
Fade away into the dark,
I can't stop,
I love you,
I hate you,
I need you,
I Breathe you
GO AWAY.
"Disapear"
I've fallen down below,
I know you wish I wasnt here,
It's too late,
I made the mistake,
I gave in, Death is not my fear?!
Dont cry, I was sapposed to die,
Close your eyes and it will all disapear.
"You left me here"
Im crying,
Im laying here dying,
You let go, you left me behind,
I've cried long enough,
I tried to get you,
I tried to show you,
I was ignored,
and this night you'd wish u didnt leave me here,
Don't let me cry alone, dont let me die alone.
"Lost voice"
I tried to speak the words wouldnt come out.
I tried to tell you how much I love you and that I care.
I wnated you to know I wanted to say the words but my mouth forced them back in.
Losing the words to say, my mind is caving in.
I need to tell you these things if only I could, I would.
"You Let Go"
I felt your grip,
You held me tight,
Untill tonight,
I feel myself slipping away,
Dont try to save me,
Why would u want to?
You were the one who let go.
I have more... I'll add em later!!
By- MyNightmarex666
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Gift Giving?
I really like alll them!! they are awesome!! send me all yours!! you got talent and no doubt about it!! *trix*
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dear,MyNightmarex666
you love this guy a whole lot but your mixed upin your feelings alot of girls feel this way i for one used too till i met my man all i can say is give it a try soo im gonna say bye
always, becca
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the first is cliche.
the second is okay. It needs some style and idea work though.
the third is like the second as are the 4th and 6th.
the 5th is cliche.
overall they weren't bad though. They were mostly cliche. Avoid it. You'll get bored listeners with cliche-filled poems. No matter how well-written they are.
*courtesy snaps*
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*Snaps fingers repeatedly*
Yay, beatnik applause! Lol. You are an outstanding poet. Keep it up!
-Siren
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You're poems are very well written...and when I read them I was able to read them fluently -- which is good.
Some things I would change though.
- In "Just Die" you use fairly common words. For instance, the word "conceal" (just a suggestion) if you maybe "you conceal yourself into the darkness" instead of "fade away into the dark"...do you get what I mean? A little variety in your words...that's all.
-And in "You Left Me Here" you said "I'm laying here dying"...maybe if instead you used "I'm LYING here dying".
But overall, these are great poems...people have their own styles...and I think you found your style of poetry.
But...one more thing. I realized you like to rhyme in your poems...that's okay and there's NOTHING wrong with that...but A LOT of times poetry comes out more.....full I guess...and it expresses you a lot more when you do free-verse...because it's not like you have any limitations or boundaries on trying to find out which words rhyme with which...
Do you get what I mean??
~GL~
I LOVE WRITING POETRY! ;)
Keep it up...
~*!*~GeSsYkA~*!*~
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