|
Good friend turning Bad
I have a great friend named Erin. We've been best friends since 1st grade, but lately she's been deserting me for her new friends. Now, I'd normally be beaming if she made a few new friends, but I'm just so glum about it now. Her new friend, Bridget, is super mean to me! She sits there and makes fun of me for listening to Jessica Simpson, Ja Rule, Ludacris, you get the picture. She even had the nerve to make fun of my uncle's rock band (FYI my uncle's only 23)! Worst of all, Erin sits there and laughs with Bridget!!! I know that Erin isn't being the world's best friend, but she's just such a nice girl when she's away from Bridget. Bridget's also starting to talk to Erin about cutting herself... See, Bridget cuts herself in choir (I sit right next to her) & wipes her blood on a piece of paper in her planner. In fact, she has a whole page full of blood.... Nasty! She's trying to convince Erin to start doing that. Erin's also yelling at me for not going out with this kid who I don't like, but here she is hooking Bridget up with her own best guy friend, and BRIDGET HAS A BOYFRIEND who's practically in love with her! Help!!!!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Every school you go into you are going to recieve and lose friends and the best ones stay with you. However, the best ones also know what's good and whats bad for you and herself.
Therefore I suggest you seperate yourself from
these people first and take care of yourself.
The perspective you have to see is that you are the only one that matters because what occurs in your life will result in you changing!
As for the love triangle dont worry too much about it, broken hearts are a part of life.
Now for the bleeding thing, I ask that you talk to an adult about it, because what shes doing will not only affect her physically but also emotionally. This is the one factor that could cost a life.
oneindependentwoman
]
I know it hurts but I think Erin is doing YOU a favor. It is fine to tell her how you feel about what is happening to your friendship. Add that YOU have chosen to distance YOURSELF from it partly because she has and also because you do not wish to watch her partake in destructive behavior or be any part of it. Talk to the school counselor and even your parents. If you are really concerned now or after you say what's on your mind, and you say you've been best friends for a long time, you might consider telling your parents and maybe then,with your parent's help, tell her parents. People change and grow,they sometimes change friends as often as they change clothes, especially in the school years,however,destructive behavior is NEVER acceptable. Sometimes, we have to accept these changes even if it means risking losing a friend. Distance yourself in a direct and honest, yet loving way and if you see that there's a bigger problem-(Erin obviously doesn't)-then do the next right thing and help start the ball rolling to stop it and then step back and get on with your life. Good Luck-Insight2020
]
Ok, I'm going to answer this in sections, so be patient with me..
: If Erin is deserting you for new people, it's time for you to get some new friends too. I don't mean you have to break up with Erin, or stop talking to her, but it's a fact that as we grow up, we grow apart. We start to like different things, want to meet new people. Try making some new friends of your own.
: Have you told Erin how you feel about Bridget? Do NOT take crap from people; you don't deserve to be made fun of. When she makes fun of you, don't shout at her or have a nasty retort (although by the sounds of it, i don't think you would be nasty anyway), just stand up and walk away. Bullies are cowards who are insecure about themselves. Ignore her, don't rise to it, or as I suggested, make some new friends. If Erin is laughing when Bridget is doing these things to you, she's NOT your friend. Trust me, I've been there before, and it all ended in tears.
: You need to tell someone that Bridget is cutting herself, ESPECIALLY if she's just doing it to "be cool", and encouraging Erin to do it too. Cutting is NOT cool, I know from personal experience, and she can really get hurt. She could get blood poisioning or hit an artery or ANYTHING, so please, please tell someone.
: Ok, I don't mean to be harsh here, but Bridget sounds like a cowardly little girl who needs to grow up. Cutting herself? Cheating on her boyfriend? What is that? Look at it this way; who is the better friend, you or Bridget? If Erin can't see that you are genuine and Bridget is just a show off, SHE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME! Don't do something just because Erin wants you to! Be yourself, if you don't like someone, don't hook up with them!
: I know this situation well. I had a best friend who left me for a group of "cooler" kids. We'd been best friends for almost five years, and one day she just said "I hate you and I don't wanna hang out with you anymore". Don't let this friendship get to that stage. Please, get yourself out of this friendship; I am worried that they will try and bully you into cutting yourself. Use your common sense, hang out with new people, involve youself in clubs and other activities where you can make new friends.
: If you ever need to talk about this, drop me a note. Good luck x
]
First of all I automatically have a liking for Erin because her name rocks my socks off. (as Erin is also my name).
But she doesnt realize what is happening to her. You have to let her know (without Bridget being there) that she is hurting you and that you used to be such good friends and so on and so on. She has to know how much it bothers you otherwise it will just continue.
]
Okay, Bridget sucks, we've established that. So, why is it you people always assume your problems are for you alone. Use something Bridget does to totally screw her over, explain to her current boyfriend she's evil and he shouldn't like her, tell Erin she's turned into a total bitch and you hate what she's become and hopefully even if you lose your friend you won't have sadistic morons around you. Bridget cuts herself. Tell a teacher or guidance counsellor blah blah blah. For one thing, she needs some help. I mean come one, she's cutting herself. However evil she may be you cannot disregard this. Plus it will totally screw her over (just in case you want revenger, I know it must be tempting). Her current boyfriend needs to also learn he shouldn't be in love with someone like her. You'll need to tell him though. And as for Erin, if you can get Bridget away and she becomes nice again, tell her what you feel. Explain why you don't like the bitch she is now. If she remains *****y (I feel I've used it too many times), it may hurt, but you can't be friends with someone like that. And if Erin starts cutting herself too, you owe it to her to help her. Good luck, this problem is a tough one.
]
More Questions: |