Question Posted Wednesday December 10 2003, 9:16 am
One of my so-called friends decided that she wanted to make stuff up about me, I guess to start a fight, but it's pretty sad that she has to make something up instead of saying osmething true that's bad, and it's pretty sad that she had that much trouble finding something bad that she made something up. Question is, do I confront her about it or not, because I heard it on the grapevine. I don't know if I should tell her to her face how pathetic it is that she has to make up something because she can't find anything, or if I should just leave her to think that she has gotten away with it completely. Can anyone help?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships? ScaperJess answered Tuesday December 16 2003, 8:39 pm: I would confront her be strait forward and honest, tell her that you don't appreciate it and that is she has an issues with you to please take it up with you... be very polite and calm about it… be the better person... if she continues she's not worth your time... but don't go spread roamers back… just be really nice to her... say hi and smile and say nice things about her... believe me it becomes very hard to dislike and lie about someone if there really nice to you... if you smile and say hi to other people too it will just make her look bad... [ ScaperJess's advice column | Ask ScaperJess A Question ]
OneMan answered Saturday December 13 2003, 2:53 pm: This one is simple, if you heard it through the grapevine, then that tells me that the person who brought it to you doesn't believe much of it, either. People usually don't approach you with what they KNOW is the truth. If that is the case, then there's nothing to be concerned with. Confronting her will only add fuel to the fire because she will then know that she's getting to you and that makes it all the more "fun" to her. Let it be, and I assure you, after a few rounds of people acting as if they have better things to do and hear, she'll get the message and move on. [ OneMan's advice column | Ask OneMan A Question ]
koshii answered Wednesday December 10 2003, 11:04 pm: You sound pretty certain that she really did start this rumor, so I won't question you on that judgment. You seem to have a pretty solid idea of what and why she started lies about you, but the question lies herein: Did she want to have the gossip come back where you can hear it, or was she trying to incense someone else to become upset with you?
I wouldn't accuse her of anything to her face, because that's exactly what she wants. Sidle up to her with a cute little smile and bring it up, such as "hey, did you hear that ____? Isn't that weird?" and smile as preciously as you can. Watch her reaction carefully. If it doesn't look like it's getting anywhere, break out the big guns, as literally as you like. Please remember that semi-automatics are legal but fully autos are not without a permit, which generally does not slow the acquisition process much. I'd try eBay for all your mafia-esque UZI supplies. [ koshii's advice column | Ask koshii A Question ]
musicismyworld answered Wednesday December 10 2003, 5:00 pm: dont let her get away with her if she is a true friend she wouldnt have started anything confront that bitch make her cry i know a lil harsh but she shouldnt have done that it isnt right [ musicismyworld's advice column | Ask musicismyworld A Question ]
Whatever answered Wednesday December 10 2003, 2:13 pm: You should definitly ask her about it. But don't be rude or sarcastic about it. The first person to loose temper is always the looser. If you don't confront her she will just keep on spreading bad news about you. She's probably jealous or something but listen to what she's gotta say after confronting her and then go from there. [ Whatever's advice column | Ask Whatever A Question ]
meme1229 answered Wednesday December 10 2003, 12:58 pm: confront her about it but make it seem as if you don't care like you have something on her. And if she tries anything else, you'll sell out that information that you so called have.sHE'LL GET WORRIED, IF YOU DO THAT. aND DON'T TRY TO BECOME FRIENDS WITH HER AGAIN after she tried to do something like that. [ meme1229's advice column | Ask meme1229 A Question ]
sylverwolff answered Wednesday December 10 2003, 12:17 pm: The minute you say anything nasty to her you are sinking to her level, keep yourself higher then her and just ignore it, she might think she got away with it but you know the truth, and you have the satifaction of knowing you were the mature one. Remember that you heard it through the grapevine, so it could be someone spreading rumors about her, if you confront her in the wrong way and she didn't do it then you will lose a friend. If you really want her to know you know, maybe drop some hints here and there like "I heard that someone is spreading rumors about me, have you heard anything? or do you know who's doing it?" It will make her squirm and will give her the message that you know [ sylverwolff's advice column | Ask sylverwolff A Question ]
shay*shay answered Wednesday December 10 2003, 10:33 am: Explane to her that none of the things she said were true and that you feel sorry for her that she had to make bad stuff up about you to make a rumor. So definetley confont her, but remember fighting is not the answer!
-shay :-) [ shay*shay's advice column | Ask shay*shay A Question ]
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