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growing apart


Question Posted Sunday December 7 2003, 6:06 pm

i've been best friends with my friend since kindergarden, in first grade she moved away, but we've still been best friends since. she has two other close friends who go to my school and i can tell they're a little jealous of us being best friends. Lately my best friend (let's call her Ella) has been hanging out with her other friend (let's call her Tina) because they're in the same hebrew school. now she always talks about tina! a couple of times i've given Ella one of those best friend necklaces, but she nver wore it, recently Tina gave her a best friend necklace and she wears it all the time, though Tina never wears hers. Tina also talks about Ella behind her back, which i've never done (except now). I don't want my best friend to be hurt. How can i tell her about Tina?
i also have another problem with Ella... i've recently joined marching band and it's loads of fun. when i try to tell her about band camp and stuff, she quickly changes the subject, this really annoys me. Also, at Ella's bat mitza, i walked in with two of her friends from school, as soon as she saw them, she ran up and hugged them, but only waved and said hi to me. i don't want to lose ella as a best friend, she's the closest thing to a sister. what should i do? *please help me!*


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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


angel_gurl25 answered Tuesday December 9 2003, 7:01 pm:
it sonds like to me that she doesnt want to heart u but she also doesnt want to be friends any more so i would talk to her about it that may help

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rawbery79 answered Monday December 8 2003, 11:00 pm:
I'm not that close to ANYONE I went to high school and elementary school anymore. (I'm 24.)

Unfortunately, people change, interests and lifestyles change, and sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. It really sucks that you aren't as close anymore, but at least you've had some good times together. I'm very happy with my friends now, and they aren't who I thought I'd be friends with years ago. So don't sweat it, it is sad, and hard, but when you drift away from one friend you usually find another.

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sylverwolff answered Monday December 8 2003, 12:40 pm:
I'm sorry to say you already have. It's the natural progression in life and at 25 is still happening to me. You have gotten different interests, met different people, basically you have grown apart, for the time being at least. I would suggest you seek out some of your other friends to spend more time with, maybe you have a potential new best friend right under your nose. Eventually if your friendship is strong enough you will grow close again, but don't dwell for now, your just hurting yourself, you can be sad and miss her, that's natural, but there is nothing you can do and a one way friendship is no fun.

As for her being backstabbed by tina. I wouldn't tell her anything, she will take it as you being jealous, or when confronted tina will say that's what it is. it will make you look bad. This is her lesson to learn, just be ready to be there for her when she finds out, she will find out eventually, and I am sure it is you that she will turn to. In the mean time, talk to some people in your marching band, you already have things in comman so making new friends should be easy.

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koshii answered Monday December 8 2003, 7:53 am:
Unfortunately, friends grow apart. People don't stick to the people they should, and she's making an example of that. You're still trying to be a decent person but it looks like she's not interested in being decent. It's a sucky fact of life but friends aren't what they used to be. The longer you live, the longer you will realize that friends are transitory. Don't kill your emotions over her. There will be more friends.

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meme1229 answered Monday December 8 2003, 7:25 am:
It's obvious as you can or should see.
Ella doesn't want to be your friend anymore because Tina took your place but Tina is just using her.
Tell Ella before it is too late and that Tina ruins her life.

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