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Homosexuality Dilemma!
I babysit until midnight for this woman, so she can't drive me home. Her kids are in bed and they have school the next morning, so shed have to wake them up. So, she has one of her coworkers drive me home. He's really nice.. But, he's gay. I feel really uncomfortable about it. I sensed it the first time he drove me home, he said a house was pretty. And then I told him I liked country music and he said, So reba? I think she's country i know she has a tv show... And well I haven't ever heard a straight guy say anything like that! So I decided to facebook him and well it turns out he is in fact gay and in a relationship for 20 years with a man.... What should I do? I just feel so weird about this! The bible says homosexuality is a sin and I'm associating with someone who is choosing to live in sin with a man!
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Babysitting?
Hello!
You shouldn't feel uncomfortable around a gay person. I have a few friends that are gay, and let me tell you this people who are gay (well at least the ones I know) are the sweetest people you'll ever meet. You shouldn't judge people by the way they're trying to express themselves. If they're gay than that's how they want to express themselves, that's their personality. We're all people. You don't know this man why don't you actually get to know him before you judge him. I really hate it when people say things like that, because it really pisses me off that people would even want to judge people that way. Why do you have to get into his business? You should at least be grateful that he's driving you home every night.
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all he did was give you a ride home I mean i am a christian to but I believe in the bible that it says tho shall not judge others and I agree with you homosexuality is a sin but so is judging people and every sine is alike in god's so think about how the gay man feels about you judging him
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someone should smack yall in the face with a damn bible.....you ever think about if YOU make him feel weird? No...no you didnt...its 2013 mine as well start accepting the world or go back into your bible bubble.
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My Mom is a Christan and has been talking to me for years about things like Homosexuality. I my self will NEVER EVER be one I dis-agree with her chose not to hang with them. Hanging with some one who's gay does not mean your gay. My Mom also says love the sinner but hate the sin. Getting a ride home with guy even if he is sinning does not mean your sinning. Chill out. I'm not saying getting a ride from some who you know is wanted by the cops just because you are not wanted by the cops. But he is not breaking any of mans law. He is however breaking God's. But that not your place to deal with.If you read in between the lines of what I'm saying to you I'm telling you just this once to turn a blind eye.Not because it not right it just not your place to deal with him. That God's stuff to deal with.It's not like Gods moving on you to try and help this guy. So I would let it be.Also you may not like Homosexuality but DON'T discriminate. I don't agree with a chose to be gay(Yes is is a chose people were NOT born the way.Don't let people fool you)but that fact that I don't agree WILL NOT stop me from being friends with them and treating people how people should be treated. I not going to look sick when they tell me their crush or the have me meet the person they are dating. It makes me so mad when people start discriminating against some one because they are gay or bi. Who gives then the right? Their people just like us.
That all I really have to say about it.
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You have a right to your beliefs especially your religious beliefs and I will defend to the death that right. Where you are wrong is trying to impose your religious beliefs or personal beliefs on others.
The man had about as much choice about being gay as you did in being straight. It is how you are born. It is something that was encoded in him long before he was borne. It was not a choice, it is not a sickness nor is he mentally ill.
Now if this person was female and a lesbian who was trying to seduce you, I am assuming you are a women, then you would have something to feel uncomfortable about. But this person is not trying to seduce you and in fact may be going out of his way to give you a ride home.
As for a guy saying something is pretty does not mean he is gay for there are things that cannot be described in any other manor. As for the Reba comment I'm hard pressed to see how you see him being gay from that comment. Reba is country and at one time I believe she did have a TV show. I'm straight, married with one child.
I would suggest you be more accepting of other people and their life styles; whether they be gay or goth or anything else. Its their life; in one instance of my example one is a chosen style in the other it was how they are born. In both cases this is what makes life so interesting.
I have known many gays and I am friends with several. They are wonderful people and for the most part just looking at then you can't tell. One guy I'm friendly with who is gay is a firefighter with me. If he was the firefighter who would be saving your life would you rather die than accept his help.
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Here are your options:
Either you accept the ride graciously, giving this man the respect he deserves as a human being,
Or you need to find your own way home,
Or you can quit your job.
Let's be honest: Both your employer and her coworker are being very kind and considerate to you. She could try and hire someone else, someone who doesn't need to rely on others to get to and from her house. She probably doesn't want to do that, but if you quit, I bet that's what she'll look for in another sitter: Someone within walking distance or public transit, or someone with a car.
It's understandable that you feel weird. If you haven't met many homosexuals before you haven't had a chance to recognize that they are just human beings like anyone else. You don't have to agree with their faith or life choices anymore than they need to agree with yours. You can still be respectful and pleasant to one another.
If you choose to be.
If you decide you can't be respectful and pleasant to someone who doesn't believe the exact same things that you do about God and sexuality, then you either need to arrange another way for yourself (because getting to and from your job is in fact, your responsibility, not your employers) or you need to quit.
EDIT in response to feedback:
The below, is not respectful:
"As long as he doesn't mention his lifestyle or his partner I will be able to grin and bear it."
Tolerating someone, only because they are doing something that benefits you personally, is not respect.
Bearing with someone's presence, only so long as they don't talk about themselves ('cause they are so sinful and evil by your personal judgement) is not respect.
Respect is acknowledging that good people will sometimes disagree, even about the interpretation of the Bible and God's will, and that you have no right to pass judgement. You might accept a certain interpretation of the bible as a moral correct but that doesn't make YOU personally a moral authority who gets to tell everyone else how to live - certainly not adults, who are doing you favors.
His partner is the man he loves, and has loved and shared his life with for 20 years. Pretending that man doesn't exist because it makes you uncomfortable - is not respect.
You don't get to determine that his life never comes up in conversation either - it might. You, the young person he is doing a favor for, would be very rude and very wrong, to assume you get to make that kind of demand of him.
If you cannot be polite in the case of a conversations about his personal life, then you should decline the rides, and not take the risk of putting yourself in a situation where you might behave really badly.
If you feel you can't be truly respectful of this person, then the proper thing to do, is to stay away from him until you learn how to actually respect those who disagree with you.
You need to aim higher and hold yourself to a higher standard of behavoir. Accepting this favor from him, while hoping he wont bring up a topic that promotes you to judgement or cruelty towards him and carrying such hatred and intolerance in your heart, is not respect and is not good enough.
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I am going to be blunt
I respect people's opinions and religious beliefs, I really do.however I do not respect people who allow their beliefs to interfere with others lives. I by all means am not a religious petson and I do not believe in jesus. I still however respect people who choose to believe these things. This man has the RIGHT to be gay and live it freely. You are allowing yourself to be uncomfortable by judging him. It is 2013, half. Of the worlds population is gay/bisexual/lesbian it's just the way things are. This man may be gay but does this mean he is bad? No. This man is human and has feelings, This man fave you a ride home and was very nice too you. I think you need to lighten up and learn to be more respectful of others instead of being a prude.
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ADDITIONAL: I saw your feedback and I'm usually NEVER rude to people and NEVER abusive which this isn't.
But... I do have the responsibility as an advice giver to be brutally blunt here. You're clueless when it comes to your view of gay people trying to impose their lifestyle on you or trying to make you gay even. It is ridiculous and 100% factually unfounded and may get you in trouble with other people one day.
I respect your religion but you are way off-base when it comes to reality. They are into people they know are gay and know that you aren't and therefore have no interest in you.
They aren't going to be doing that or imposing a lifestyle or trying to make you gay even. They aren't out to do any such thin and stats/research firmly back that up. If you got to know someone who actually was gay and pushed aside these views for a moment you would see this as true.
ORIGINAL:
One in twenty people are gay. It's a fact. No matter your interpretation of the bible NONE of them chose their orientation and we're born this way. I have yet to see the verses that say otherwise.
Wouldn't GOD love all of his creation no matter what? Jesus never judged others and often hanged around with those deemed sinners and often healed them.
You don't have to like this person's lifestyle but you have to be tolerant and treat him like you would anyone else and see the good in him and his accomplishments in spite of orientation. There's a lot he could teach you about being a real Christian. Don't pass judgment on him.
I think you should really get to know this person and see good things about him rather than deny yourself a friend. As far as associating with someone who is gay, lesbian or bisexual no doubt you have been at school, work, anywhere you go for years without the person being open with it.
It's time to get rid of fear and prejudice towards them. If you were this man how would you feel if he didn't want to associate with you if you were gay? Think about it.
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