"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe, we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."
Website: It's Like That
E-mail: cranberydreams16@aim.com
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania
Occupation: student
Age: 18
AIM: cranberydreams16
Member Since: September 7, 2007
Answers: 27
Last Update: September 10, 2007
Visitors: 2612
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Okay I have been dating the same guy for 1 year & 3 months. I'm 18 & he is 20. We didn't have sex until 1 day after our 8 month anniversary. When we have sex he always aims to go for my butt instead of the other. Not only that but he always talks baby talk, I mean I know it may be our thing but whatever. If you really think about it at our age thats just weird. Okay here is the thing. It has been 2 almost 3 months since the last time we have had sex the right way. I bug him about it every now & then but not until it really bugs me. Well he had spent the night the other night after he had got off work, his parents were out of town so thats the only way he could stay the night, which is odd, because he is 20 but he still lives at home & doesn't plan on getting married anytime soon. Or moving out of his parents house. Anyhow. The morning after he had stayed the night nothing happened, I mean no kisses no touching nothing. So the next morning I asked him what was wrong & why doesn't he want to have sex with me, & he said sex isn't ever on his mind & it doesn't thrill him like it does other people or me. I barely get kisses. He doesn't even touch me anymore. He won't give me any explanation of why he seriously doesn't wanna touch or have sex with me which kind of makes me think hes gay, but anyways, if anyone knows how I can deal with this or if its even normal for a guy not to want to have sex with someone he says hes in love with. Please give me advice as soon as you can, I will greatly appreciate it.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. He was a virgin up until me & him had sex. That info might help..
-signed Confused One (link)
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Well, it sounds to me like, he may not want to have sex with you because he's gay or maybe still trying to figure out if he is or not. He may love you, but I'm unsure whether he's in love with you. If I were you, I would just ask him straight up. I think he's going through a difficult time right now and will probably need your support as he tries to figure things out for himself. But, ya, it sounds to me like he may be gay. Well, good luck with everything and I hope everything turns out well for you.
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Thanks in advance everyone :>)
Alright. First you should know that I'm the very romantic type and look forward to things like dressing up, going on dates, I want to go sit in a coffee shop with someone and have a nice conversation (too bad im only 14..haha)...and I just love the whole idea of being with someone and having them to talk to and lying under the stars together.... :>)... but I've never had a real boyfriend, almost all my friends are boys though.
alright enough about me. Here's my situation.
My friend, Jenna, has liked my friend Mike since 7th grade when she moved here. Now, Mike is my bestbestfriend. I am really fond of him, too, and was really hoping he'd ask me to homecoming...because it would be romantic/fun/etc. :>)
HOWEVER...Jenna and my friend Katrina are best friends, and Katrina said to me the other day, "you're close with mike, right?" and i said yes. Then she said "do you know who he likes/is planning to ask to homecoming?" and I said, "nope..." she said "I'm trying to help Jenna get him to ask her. We'll need your help too though, she reeeally wants to go with him."
but she barely talks to him and I almost am SURE he is going to ask me...but then if I said yes to him, Jenna would be mad at me, and if I said no, I would feel like I missed a great, fun chance. I know there will be more dances but you know, it's my first high school dance.....Im very excited. (remember, I said i over romanticize everything.. :-P)
So basically, I'm stuck. What should I do? I probably wouldn't have a hard time going with someone else cause someone's bound to ask me, like I said I have a lot of guy friends. but....what should I do? I really wanted to go with mike.
It almost feels like they're completely ignoring my feelings...but Katrina is very very nice, so I'm sure she's probably just oblivious...after all everyone does think of us as just friends so I wouldn't really expect them to think I wanted to go with him...I almost want to tell them but that would be really hard.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. Gosh, just writing that got me all excited. :>) but worried at the same time.
Thank you
:>) (link)
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High school dances are a lot of fun and I understand that you want to go with someone that you'll have fun with. So, if I was you, this is what I'd do. I would go straight to Mike and tell him how you feel. Just say that you know that Jenna wants to him to ask her to the dance, but also tell him that you were hoping he would ask you because you think it'd be a lot of fun to go together. Alert him that he has these two choices for the dance and then let him make the descision. After all, it is his choice and I'm sure he'll make the right one. I hope he asks you and everything works out for you! Good luck and have fun at the dance!!
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15/f
well this summer i lost my virginity to my
ex boyfriend, who broke up w/ me a few weeks after we had sex the first time..... im single but im still cravy sex so im afraid to get closer to anyone cauz ill use my sexual impullses to chose you i'll date and who i wont...
i dont want to become like my ex cauz we were friends for about a year before he asked me out cauz he had already had a girlfriend who he also was screwin, so when he brok up w/ her he asked me out, he already knew i was soooo ready for sex i was just waitin for someone to ask me if it was ok. so to him i was like a easy to get chic......
pleaz hepl! how do i get control over my sexual impulses so i can have relasionships again? (link)
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Maybe you could start by channeling your sexual impulses into something else. Like schoolwork, a job, or running. Running can be a good way to let out the sexual tension you are feeling. If I were you, I wouldn't start a relationship with someone new until you have your urges under control. If you do start a relationship with someone, go slowly, don't put too much pressure on yourself to not have sex, otherwise you'll wind up having sex. Besides it's normal to have these sexual impulses, you're 15 and your hormones are raging. So, just take things slow and I'm sure you'll figure things out. I hope this helps and good luck with everything.
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so i like this guy he's cute and he's very nice. whenever he smiles...i can't help but smile. I want to get to know him better. i dont really know anything about him. he doesnt have myspace and im not sure if he has aim. But i see quite often during the school day. so im basically lookin for tips on how to get to know him better.
thanks much! (link)
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Well, if you have classes with him, you can simply start up a conversation based on something from class. If you don't have any classes with him, find some way to "accidently" bump into him. You could also ask around. Ask some of your friends about him. I hope his helps at least a little. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!
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umm im 14 years old and i havent had mt period yet and i have no boobs at all. what should i do??? (link)
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Well, to be honest, there really is nothing you can do about it. Everyone's body works differently, so when your body's ready, you'll get your period and boobs. I know it can be frustrating because you want to be like all the other girls and have boobs and a period, but there's nothing you can do to speed up the process. My sister had the same problem and was always self conscious and unsure of herself because she didn't get her period until she was 18. So, it all depends on your body. So, I hope this helps you out. P.S. Don't be in such a hurry to get your period, because once you get it and have to deal with it every month, you'll wish you didn't have it!!!!!! I truly hope this helps!!!!
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So I'm dating this guy and he lives out of state,and so I was talking to his brother and his brother and him are like best friends and I know he was like a HUGE person into like drugs,so i thought it wasnt that bad becuz he was never like on them when i was talking to him,so today was the first time right? and i love this guy like a lot,more than a lot. and so he was like ok ok whatever to me and i was like i love you and he like always says i love you more but this time he was like ok whatever. so his brother gets on and tells me that his high. and that maybe what would make him stop was if me and him took a break and ireally dont want to, and so i talked to my boyfriend and his like i dont know i really need to get this drug thing over with,i really dont want to take a break but maybes its the best thing,and i dont believe it is, because like me and him have been dating for almost 3 months and me and him are always saying we love eachother and today he commented me saying i want to spend the rest of my life with you,what do i do? I dont want to take a break from me and him becuz i dont want to loose him,adive? help? (link)
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I understand where you're coming from and that is a very tough position to be in. I think though, that taking a break may be best for both of you. His drug addiction is something he has to deal with and get past. I understand that you don't want to take a break from dating him, but don't you think maybe it's for the best? He knows that you love him and that he loves you, so maybe by taking a break he can concentrate on overcoming his addiction. Reassure him that you're there for him and love him, but tell him that he needs to get clean before the two of you can continue on with the relationship. It's like that old saying, if you love someone let them free, if they come back than it was meant to be, and if they don't than it wasn't meant to be. You obviously love him a lot and by taking a break he'll be able to clean up his act and you guys can have an even better relationship than before. I hope this advice helps at least a little bit. Good luck with everything. And remember, what's mean to be will always find a way.
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okay i have a boyfriend and i like him and he REALLY likes me, but my problem is that I like this other boy. And I really dont want to break up with my boyfriend for the guy i like. so what could i do ? and this boy likes me to . but could me and this boy be friends with benifits or what? I have tryed to stop likeing the boy so i can concentrate on my boyfriend. so please i really need help . and thank you all who help me!! (link)
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Ok, first of all I don't think friends with benefits is a good idea. I know you're not going to want to hear what I have to say, but in my opinin, you shouldn't date either boy. If either one of them was the right boy for you, you would be able to choose between them, so since you can't, I don't think you should date either boy. I think you should try being friends with both of them and nothing more. Sorry, if you don't like this advice, it's just my opinion. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
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So there's this kid in my homeroom freshman class ever since the first day of school which was just a three hour orientation day me and him clicked =) and I sortve like him now but there's one problem......he's not in any of my periods and I hardly ever see him in the hall ways so I don't know how to talk to him...don't suggest getting his number because I already have it I just really wanna try and go out with him. (link)
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Well, if you already have his number, why don't you just call him and ask him to hang out? I don't mean to sound rude, but what's the problem here, if you already have his number, just call and ask him out. If you guys already clicked and you know you get along well, just call and ask him to a movie or someting. I don't know if this helps any, but good luck with everything and I hope everything works out for you!
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how do u start an essay about yourself (link)
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Well, I'm one of those people that loves quotes, so I would probably find some quote that would be a good opener. If you don't like that, than try something else creative. Just don't start off with, "Hi, my name is..." that's just boring. Quotes usually work best. Good lucK!
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I like this one guy, and I really want to talk to him...but here's the problem. We have no classes together, and almost no friends in common, except two of my friends. But I can't tell my friends that I like him because, my best friend says that she's in love with him. He asked her out last year (before I knew him) and it would hurt her feelings.
So how do you go up and talk to a person when you have no reason for talking to them, and no friends in common? I'm kind of shy too, I can't just walk up to him and say "Hi. I'm Rosalie, and I really like you" I need some ides that will seem causal to him if it involves walking up and talking to him, and If I do I have to have a valid reason so I don't look like a complete idiot...
Anyway, help would be appreciated. (link)
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This is kind of a tough one. Maybe you could pretend to be looking for your friend and ask if he's seen her. Then just be like oh god she was supposed to meet me, then make up some reason for meeting her. I'm not sure if it would work, but it may open up the window to start a real conversation with him. Sorry if this isn't much help. Or you could like run up to him and be like I have this huge favor to ask and just make something up that sounds real. I'm sorry, but this is the best I've got. I hope everything works out for you and him. Sorry I couldn't be more of a help! Good lucK!
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ok so there is this guy I like and we are friends and I am friends with his older brother too. His older brother got a cell phone and we were texting. He said he liked me and he asked me if I liked him. I said I kind of do but I like your brother more. Then I realized that was so mean. So he got all mad and I texted him back and said I was so sorry and I hope we could just be friends he didn't text me back yet what should I do? Help (link)
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I really don't think there's anything you can do. I'm not sure there are any words that can make him feel better. You already apologized. Maybe you should just give him a couple days and he'll probably get over it. Sorry if this isn't much help, I hope everything works out for you. Boys are just sensitive about things like that, I think space is all he needs right now. I'm sure everything will work out the way it's meant to.
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My best friend is 17 and her boyfriend is 15. They have been going out for a year and a half. She gets hurt a lot by him. Nothing physical or verbal. He always chooses his friends over her. They don't go to the same school either. She always pays for everything and he's the one who has a job. For her birthday, he told her that he would give her this amazing gift & forgot her birthday. Promised to get her something soon and it took about 2 months because she kept mentioning it. It wasn't so much about receiving a gift, but how he says things.. and doesn't mean it or forgets it. His best friends bad mouthed her & he didn't believe her or help. It seems like he only comes by to have sex. His friends are a bad influence. He does whatever his friends tell him to do, like eat garbage. He's also a flake. He avoids talk about the future especially about college and jobs, he refuses to go and he thinks everything will be fine. There's just so much more going on. Yesterday, she was planning to break up with him... she told him that.. And he said nothing at all. When she was talking to him, his best friend called and he just left her there while she was still explaining things! They are still together. She's been with him for so long, that it's rather hard to let go.. I told her those few happy moments together aren't worth it while you are unhappy for the rest. What can I do or say? I've said a lot.. but i guess i don't have the right words? i really want to be there for her. But I'm afraid I'll become too close of a best friend that she would have a crush on me again! (link)
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This is a tough one. Ask your friend if she sees this boy in her future. If the answer if no, then ask why she's with him. This is obviously an unhealthy relationship, she needs to end it. Maybe you should talk to the boyfriend. Ask him what his deal is, if he's not serious about her, than she shouldn't be giving him the time of day. There are so many great guys out there, she shouldn't be wasting her time with this loser. Maybe, you could introduce her to some new boys or some new people. No boy is worth so much drama and if he truly cared about her, he wouldn't be doing all this to her. I hope I helped somewhat and I hope everything works out for your fried. GOod luck!
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my mother and i dont get along its been this wayy for a while and i cant really TAKE IT anymore soo i need to know how to get emancipated
where do i go
what do i say
all of that please dont tell me that i cant or dont cuz thats just gonna piss me off
thaknz in adbance!
(link)
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I know what it's like to have a mother you get along with. First I would like to say, try and work it out with your mom. But if that's not possible, is there anyone you can stay with, an aunt, uncle, grandparent? If emancipation is the only option left, then go for it. You'll need to go to your courthouse and discuss things with them, because I'm unsure of the exact process. I know that it's a lot of work and it's a long process. I know what it's like to not get along with your mom and I once tried to get emancipated from my mother, but we worked things out and things between us are really good right now. But, whatever you decide to do, I hope everything works out for you. Good luck with everything and hang in there!
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I'm 13/f, and I have an overprotective mom. She can't leave me home alone for 15 minutes. I was going to my friend's house. I told my mom that my friend's babysitter was going to be there, which was true, and my mom didn't believe me. She followed me to my friend's door and STUCK her head into the house, and looked around. I was SO embarrassed. She could have at least asked my friend if her mom was home or something. And I'm going to my friend's house soon and I'm so scared that my mom will follow me to the door again. My mom never used to be so overprotective. HELP!! How do I get to calm her nerves down? I live in a town where nothing bad has ever happened. (link)
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Trust me, I know what it's like to have an overprotective mom, I mean, I'm 18 and she calls every five minutes to make sure I'm ok. But like everyone else said, you are 13 and she has every right to worry about you, however, I do agree that her behavior is a bit much. You might want to try talking to her and letting her know how you feel. Let her know that you appreciate her concern and that you understand she worries but there has to be a balance. Reassure her that she can trust you, but that she also needs to learn to let you grow up. But, don't be in such a hurry to grow up and remember in today's society, your mom has every right to worry. Just talk to her and hopefully things will get better. Hope everything works out for you!!
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I'm getting married next month. (I'm the groom.) I'm extremely excited, but I'm hoping for some outside opinions on a few things.
I love my fiancee very, very much. And I know that the feeling is mutual. Like any normal couple, we have our differences. Some of them irk us slightly, but not enough for it to effect the relationship. However, on rare occasions, we differ enough to cause debate. This is where I need advice.
I'm used to a level playing field where debates are concerned, so I try and only reply with things that are logical. Things that make sense to me. I then usually expect something similar in return. Like an acknowledgment or rejection of my reasoning, followed by the reasoning behind that acknowledgment or rejection, and something to counter it. My wife-to-be doesn't argue this way. Her replies usually consist of "No." or "Absolutely not." or "I don't care." or "If you love me you'll do this."
Occasionally, she'll use her mother to settle it. She'll say "We'll see what my Mom has to say about it.", then she'll call her Mom. If her Mom agrees with her, she takes it as the final end-all word. If her Mom agrees with me, she gets frustrated, and she doesn't ask her Mom to settle things for a while.
Sometimes, I just take the fall. I figure that she is unshakable on the topic, and I choose her over what it is I'm fighting for. For example, I'm no longer a casual beer drinker. In fact, I will not bring alcoholic beverages within 3 feet of my mouth, at all. And I used to really enjoy the occasional Guinness. This is a sacrifice I was willing to take for her.
Another one was with the movie 300. She said that she didn't want that movie in the house, at all. I argued it, and used my pc games as an example, and she said that she didn't want some of those in the house either. In the end, I got rid of some of my games. Oddly, afterward we were watching a movie she owned, and she commented that it was bloodier than 300. Because of this, she has decided that I can have 300 after all.
This was an interesting development. What I observed, was that she realized that her movie was bloody too, so I could have a movie she banned after all. I tried to bring this into later arguments, pointing out things she had or did that were similar. Her reply is usually "Don't bring ME into this."
She tends to be passive aggressive when I'm playing or watching something she doesn't like. I was playing the Bioshock demo on my computer. Previously, she had been in a rather good mood, but afterward, I got looks and the silent treatment. When I asked what was wrong, she denied that anything was wrong, and went back to her bad mood. Clueless, I went back to the game, and this REALLY upset her. I haven't loaded the demo since.
So the latest one confuses me. I would like an Xbox 360. She has refused to allow me to purchase one. We can't afford one right now, but I asked her that in the future, when we have a surplus of cash and I suggest we get one if she will allow it. She declined. Her argument is that we don't need one, and that there aren't any good games for it. I countered with role reversal (Well you don't need a PSP, but you want one anyway. I'm not denying you that.), and a list of games that are actually very good, including some she would probably like. (She's something of a gamer too. Casual. Lot's of Mario.) Still, she refuses to agree to purchasing one later, when the means are there to do so.
That argument isn't what I'm seeking advice on per say (Though it might help.) I'm marrying this woman, and I know that her argument methods won't change. How can I argue with her? Or, better yet, how can I not argue with her and still manage to keep my dignity. (IE: not taking a dive every time we disagree.)
Thanks. (link)
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You guys may need to see a couples counselor or someone equally as qualified. With a future spouse, you should be able to talk about anything. Yeah, definetely talk to someone about the problems you're having. Good luck with everything and I hope everything works our for the two of you.
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look theres this guy Peter who used to go to my school and he does again but he asked me out over msn i said yes and now hes back. He hasn't talked to me I've emailed him no reply Should I send him my note I wrote him or wait? I mean school just went in on the 4th!!! but he used to be on msn everyday!!! shouldn't he get his messages??? Some friends found out and are now harassing me about it!! Should I just break up with him now and live with not knowing? I mean 2 guys in his class I've dated and hate me!! They think I'm a s***!!
I need help
thanks (link)
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Send him the note or better yet, if it's possible, confront him face to face. Don't just blow it off, confront him, you have a right to know what's going on. Good luck with everything!
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14/f
Me and one of my best boy mates have recently got together, I mean very recently, only a few days ago.
And we're both really shy so it's not going anywhere. I mean, we don't really act like we're going out apart from the fact we generally walk around together and hug when we say goodbye.
If we were alone I'd be much more comfortable, but we havn't been alone since we started dating, and I feel really self-conscious in front of everyone else.
What should I do about it?
xxx (link)
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I understand what it's like to be shy, especially around boys that you like. But, you shouldn't be! You're in a realtionship with a guy you really like and who really likes you back. Don't be self conscious, who cares what anyone else thinks about you. You guys are in like and screw what anyone else has to say about it.
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Look I`m totaly losing my best friend to this new kid dominique I dont like dominique because of this and I only wish that she would leave us alone. Kayla has been my BFF for 8 years and now that this person has came we`re not even talking anymore what do I do to get her back as a friend (link)
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Ok, have you ever seen the episode of Full House, where Michelle is best friends with this girl and then her old best friend Teddy comes back? Well, she didn't know that you could have two best friends and she thought she had to choose. Well, the truth is, it's possible to have more than one best friend. You need to talk to Kayla and Dominique and let them know how you're feeling. There's no reason why the three of you can't hang out and all be friends. Just hang in there and good luck.
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So I'm not sure if this will make sense or whatever but okay.. So I currently have a boyfriend whom I've been with almost 5 months.He's amazing and I'm not planning on breaking up with him anytime soon.I dated a couple guys who I believe I still have feelings for.Is that bad or acceptable if I don't intend on having a (relationship) with.I don't talk to my ex at all anymore.He's in college, doing his thing.I think that's the best because It's been very hard trying to get over him, But anyways.. my ex ex , he's a senior I believe or junior.. I don't know anymore.. I dated him end of freshmen year.Which I'm currently a junior.So that was quite a bit of time ago.I just realized I have "lil" feelings for him basically because everytime I bump into him in the hallways.. i get this weird feelings,But he's a friend.He gives me a hug and messes with me and what not. I don't have any intentions of flirting with him or go any further.I just don't know what to do with those feelings.Just let it go.Even if it's been forever.I just hope if he goes to Homecoming and I go as well, with my boyfriend.. that it isn't awkward and boyfriend be concerned.Anyone have any suggestions? (link)
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It's perfectly normal to have feelings for ex's and those feelings will probably always be there. As long as you have no intentions of dating them again than your boyfriend should have nothing to worry about. You're always going to feel something for your ex, but you know that it's over between the two of you and you're currently in a good relationship. Just make sure to reassure your boyfriend of how much you like him and don't worry abou anything else. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you. P.S. You can't do anything about the way you feel or the way someone makes you feel, so don't feel guilty about having some feelings for an ex, it's beyond your control.
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15/f
ok im in love with my friend bret he'sa junior, about 5ft 11", has deep blue eyes, blonde hair, and farely skinny, dont he sound hot! well weve been hangin out together since i was a fish and now im a sophmore, we play cards together every day after skool, along with his friends, but we always sit by each other, well i always sit next to him. but ive fallen for him, and he doesnt even realize it, i really like him and i dont want my personal feelings to ruin our friendship, so how do i find out if he likes me? one more ? how do i let him know i like him without it being totally obvious/dramatic? (link)
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What you need to do, is spend some one on one time with him. Just hang out, just the two of you. By spending time alone, you'll be able to see if there are sparks and chemistry and all that good stuff. Trust your instincts, just hang out and see where it goes. What's meant to be, will be. Good luck!
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