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Member Since: December 18, 2013
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Last Update: December 20, 2013
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I am an attractive guy (35) and she's an attractive lady (28) but I'm forced to initiate sex 9 of 10 encounters and when she attempts to initiate lately I don't take her seriously to the point where I'll brush her off saying, "you're joking, right", then go about my business. She likes sex early in the evening whereas I like late nite romps, I enjoy sex to music, she likes to play the television while I try to sleep, she insists that I go places with her when I'm tired from working 2 jobs about 4 days per week while she works one job maybe one time per week, etc. We're polar opposites in many ways but my main question has to do with how I can explain to her that even as a guy I would like to be treated as an attractive man and have her initiate on an equitable basis. _(link)

I initiate sex all the time with my bf...mainly because he doesn't. If it was up to me...I would have sex everyday...even better, twice a day. I don't understand why she doesn't initiate...maybe cause she doesn't want it? Idk. Have you asked her?

Ok here's question that might be hard to answer .maybe not .my problem is trying to get my wife to want sex as much as I do .you see I have to initate everything .but I want her to be in the mood and just grab me ,rub me,kiss on me ,or anything to that matter .I want to be wanted in that way where she just can't keep her hands off me .I'm a verry atractve man .so what is the problem .iv talked to her about it but all she can say is I am atracted to you .but saying and doing is two different thing .sometimes I fell like a looser or failure because I fell so rejected .my sex life is just not there .anymore and I'm only 39 .sure I can spice it up and do different things but that doesn't get me what I want .sure lll get sex but not how I want it to be .like you see on the soaps hot seamy well you get the idea .it just doesn't happen she just lies there and let me do all the work .so what's the point in that anyways .so if anyone has a clue what I'm talking about or has been in my shoes please by all means give me some pointers of what. Can do _(link)

I feel for you...im in the same boat only the gender is switched. I wish my boyfriend couldn't keep his hands off me. Im very sexual...would love sex everyday but my bf says it isn't possible for him. He says my sex drive is higher than his. Im tired of initiating sex all the time. I do everything possible to turn him on...sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I too am considered a very attractive woman. If im in the mood and HE ISNT, im pretty much on my own no help from him. He says im selfish to keep asking if he isn't in the mood.

Okay.. i know that its normal for guys to watch porn and all, but i mean come on. My boyfriend sits there and says that he's not interested in it anymore and stuff and then he goes and says he's gonna buy some for one of my friends... that doesn't even bother me its just that he is OBSESSED with it. he like always is saying hes gonna get rid of some of it but then he liked never does and just gets more. its like a drug for him. ik its not that big of a deal but am i totally crazy for being jealous?? we have the greatest realationship outside of that... im sorry this is so long but if anyone can answer this good ill rate high.

thanks! _(link)

A porn addicted partner can wreck havoc on your relationship. A well-known psychiatrist said the addiction is related to the same addiction as cocaine. It rewires a guys brain to where he has to feel that chemical dopamine rush he feels when he watches porn. Even though he feels his partner is attractive he still needs that stimulation from the scenes he sees in the porn that he cant get from you. Some guys need to see the porn to get off cause it has become an addiction. This can wreck havoc on your self esteem as his sexual partner. Read: Don Juan, how porn rewires a man's brain. This will give you some insight on porn addiction. Then, you can decide if you want to stay with this person.

My boyfriend is still on dating sites. We've been together for a year. Would this be a form of cheating? _(link)

Your too nieve. Dating sites are for guys looking to date someone and vice versa. There is no such thing as a guy being just friends with a girl and vice versa...don't believe that for a second. This is definitely cheating!! I too caught my boyfriend on a dating site and was packing my bags and told him "whatever is good for the goose, is good for the gander"...he begged me for forgiveness, gave me the password, then deleted the site for good. I read everything he had been saying to those girls...he was giving his # left and right. Why did he delete? cause he didn't want to lose me. He admitted it was wrong and it IS cheating and he definitely wouldn't want me to do that to him.

I just learned that my boyfriend of a year is still visiting dating sites. He has friends on facebook that I had questioned him about. His response was "they are just friends." I msgd one of them and she informed me that she did meet him on one of those sites. Should I consider this a form of cheating and should I let him go? _(link)

24f. I did something ridiculously stupid, I'm furious with myself for following the urge... I went and explored my boyfriend's messages on facebook. I have no suspicion of him cheating on me, I trust him completely, and I expected to find nothing.
Thinking logically, now, I really did find nothing. On-line flirting is not a crime in my mind, nor does it count as cheating. I don't believe in "emotional cheating," nor am I concerned about him doing this and causing problems within our relationship. We both have many friends of the opposite sex, and are both pathological flirts, really. Granted, I flirt to get what I need out of people (yes, I manipulate people, but I'm a patient advocate. Sometimes I have to build quick rapport with people in order to get them to help me help my patients) and he seems to just... flirt. Granted, he loves the validation, and I understand that, being aware of his history and how tough it's been for him. Knowing with all my heart and soul that he loves me deeply, and that I am the one he wants and wants to come home to, I don't have a problem with this.
Most of the time.

Sometimes I do feel like I have a problem with it, and when I see flirty messages with a random girl, it gets to me a little. I try very hard not to let it, but sometimes my emotions overrule my logical brain, which I despise. Logically, I know I should just let myself feel, talk it out with him, and ease my mind. But then I'd have to admit to him that I saw the messages - which is my own stupid fault in the first place. I'm not even going to pretend I wasn't snooping. I was.

What the heck is wrong with me?

I HATE girls like this. But I don't believe ignorance is bliss, either. I think what upsets me the most is that it's behind my back. He was messaging her from MY apartment while I was busy working from home. But I'd never have known had I not done the stupid girl thing and read his messages. He does things like leave his facebook up and his phone out because he trusts me not to be one of those crazy jealous girlfriends and "check up" on him - and normally I'm not. I don't know, maybe I just wanted to know what he'd been up to lately, since we've both been very busy.

I feel like I'm being irrational. Mind, I still don't think he's actually doing anything with this girl or anyone other than myself. But why am I so upset from having found flirty messages when it's my fault I found them in the first place?

Someone please give me some insight, here... _(link)

You are not stupid...your like all girls including me. Facebook is a meat market...yes, that's what I said and it's too enticing for a man when a girl continuely flirts with him. Be on guard. My boyfriend and I both got off Facebook for this very thing, to keep our relationship cause we know what it's all about... we met there. He saw all the guys that were commenting and flirting with me, and I saw all the girls flirting with him. I was loving the attention from the guys...he also from the girls. So...as a loving sacrifice for our relationship...we deleted our entire facebook account. We don't regret it a bit. Just a suggestion.

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 years now, I love im dearly but I feel as though he is not in love with me anymore. I am 37 and I am a girl. He is cold and heartless towards me. How can I win him back? _(link)

your still young...don't waste your time on someone who doesn't love you. If he is cold and heartless toward you he doesn't love you. Your love will fade for this guy...there is too many fish in the sea who wants to make you their Queen. Move on...for your sake.

I'll have been married for 6 years this coming July, and for the past year I have not felt attracted to my husband. The past 6 months I have felt physically repulsed by him. I find him absolutely repulsive. When he tries to kiss me I feel so disgusted. I should probably mention I did not marry him for love. It was kind of an arranged marriage, but entirely my choice to accept him or not. I used to feel attracted to him, but not anymore. Also when he proposed I had just broken up with my boyfriend. Very serious two year relationship where I wanted to marry him. Lately, my ex is all I can think about. I'm 27, and I have two kids under the age of 5. Last detail, sex is not good...at all. My queston is...is this a normal course of a relationship? To suddenly hate everything about your husband? Will everything work out or should I cut my losses and work on my happiness? Any and all advice is greatly appreciated _(link)

6 years is too long to be with someone you don't love and I know this is hard for you. Let me ask a few questions. I assume the children are your husband's? Have you tried counceling? Rebounds are the very reason for divorces. It's very important to allow time after a breakup with a boyfriend...the yes to a marriage proposal was too soon for you. If I was you, since you have kids by this man, get counseling asap. Your kids will be devastated by a divorce. Is your husband good to you and his kids? Weigh the pros and cons before you make another rash decision. Good luck.

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