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Divorce or work through it?
I'll have been married for 6 years this coming July, and for the past year I have not felt attracted to my husband. The past 6 months I have felt physically repulsed by him. I find him absolutely repulsive. When he tries to kiss me I feel so disgusted. I should probably mention I did not marry him for love. It was kind of an arranged marriage, but entirely my choice to accept him or not. I used to feel attracted to him, but not anymore. Also when he proposed I had just broken up with my boyfriend. Very serious two year relationship where I wanted to marry him. Lately, my ex is all I can think about. I'm 27, and I have two kids under the age of 5. Last detail, sex is not good...at all. My queston is...is this a normal course of a relationship? To suddenly hate everything about your husband? Will everything work out or should I cut my losses and work on my happiness? Any and all advice is greatly appreciated
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6 years is too long to be with someone you don't love and I know this is hard for you. Let me ask a few questions. I assume the children are your husband's? Have you tried counceling? Rebounds are the very reason for divorces. It's very important to allow time after a breakup with a boyfriend...the yes to a marriage proposal was too soon for you. If I was you, since you have kids by this man, get counseling asap. Your kids will be devastated by a divorce. Is your husband good to you and his kids? Weigh the pros and cons before you make another rash decision. Good luck.
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No this is definitely not normal after six years of marriage and two kids. I wish you had said more about;"It was kind of an arranged marriage, but entirely my choice to accept him or not," as this adds confusion to what I am thinking and to how I feel I should answer you.
My first thoughts are these: From what you have written it appears you married on the rebound from a relationship with someone you had hoped to marry. Not a good thing to do things on impulse; yet six years and two children have past since then and suddenly you find your husband repulsive.
Before you break up your family, which you may come to regret in the near future, you need to give some thought as to why this sudden feeling? What has changed? Has he changed? Has he become slovenly in his appearance or hygiene? Has he come up with some habits you find obnoxious? Does he treat you with love and respect? Does he have respect for your feelings and input into daily life or has he suddenly become overbearing and abusive?
These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself. If he loves and respects you as a husband should, is not cheating on you, not staying out until all hours of the night drinking and is an active partner in raising the children, then something has happened to you that has caused this felling.
I would suggest therapy to help find what has caused you to feel as you do. It is not unusual to have feelings for an ex. feelings meaning wondering about them. Soul searching as you should on this is something you should do with professional to make sure you ask yourself all the right questions. You should talk with a therapist before making any rash decision.
It may be that divorce is the only answer, first make sure it is the right answer. From what you have written I'm not sure of the answer or the real question. Not enough real information to make a judgement call on.
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