hey there world!
so i was talking to my friend tonight and she told me that i give pretty good advice and that what i told her really helped her..which sparked the idea for me to make this lovely advice column..i'm here for anyone if you need me and i'll answer whatever questions you have (even if they dont fall under my "favorite catergories" or whatever..haha)....but basically, here is a quote to sum it all up (at least in my eyes)...i really love this quote!
"I say if you feel good with what you're doing, let your freak flag fly"
peace&love
Website: Let Your Freak Flag Fly =)
Gender: Female
Location: i'm from all around..i've moved around a lot =)
Member Since: December 14, 2006
Answers: 15
Last Update: January 4, 2007
Visitors: 2688
Main Categories:
Friendship
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Has anyone heard of Certain Dri before? It's an Anti- Perspirant(It fights excessive Perspiration). I've been using it for a year but recently it hasn't been working, any advice? Oh by the way, this is a special kind then other anti-perspirants because in the instructions say wear it on ONLY before night time. Do I need to wash my pits before I wash it? In the morning before I put on my deorderant, should I wash them too? (link)
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I use certain dri as well...and although i havent been using it for a full year...i think that if it isnt working for you anymore..maybe you just need to try a new product...certain dri is pretty strong stuff...there might be a chance that you need something stronger..you can always go to the doctor and ask him/her if she can prescribe you something else..i know that may sound lame but its the truth. and as for washing...just look at the directions..i dont wash my pits before or in the morning (because certain dry doesnt wash off, that is the point)..because the label says that it has to be completely dry...i usually just take a dry towel and like wipe them (to get the excess deodorent of i guess)..maybe try that?
http://www.dsehealthcaresolutions.com/index.php?src=gendocs&link=CD_Home
that is the website that has all the answers to any certain dri questions you might have...just to give you further help with your questions...let me know how things go, i'm always here for you
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theres this kid in my class that like sits across from me on a diff table (our tables face forward, and its two people per table) and like everyday if i glance at him or something, or he notices im there, he like grins at me or comes up to me and sings like a funny song, dances, or something. He's friendly and stuff, but what do I do back? All I do is smile.. or do I like bring up a conversation? ahh how do I do that without sounding like.. eager or just bad? lol Or sometimes he just stares at me for a long time smiling and im like "what?" and then he keeps staring... anything funny or witty or whatever that I should do back? Im not gonna stare at him back cuz that would look retarded. or is he making fun of me? i doubt it, though. (link)
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first of all, i think you should go with your gut...always! he is most definatly not just staring at you to make fun of you..there is obviously a reason and i'm sure its a positive one. my advice to you, would be to just go with the flow of the conversation...the only way to get to know someone better is to talk to them and spend time with them...so i would definatly encourage starting conversations with him..it is always nice to smile and ask how your day is going...it may seem like a really lame question, but i can promise you it isnt...it is a great conversation starter and a good way to show him you care..you know? just be sincere..which i'm sure you would be anyway..there is no way that you would sound eager or just bad...i promise...if he's looking at you to begin with, there is definatly something there for him...guys dont always realize how obvious they're being and girls dont always recognize it for what it is...if he's looking at you, by golly talk to him girl...you got this!..i'm sure that is what he wants you to do anyway..so work your magic..you've already charmed him to some extent... i'm always here for you! let me know how things go
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People say i have a pretty singing voice but I'm too shy to sing in front of most people. How can I boost my confidence? (link)
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well i've been in this boat before many times..i sing as well..and it can be really tough to put yourself out there and sing in front of a crowd, even one person can make your nerves freak out! my advice would be to make sure you know whatever you are singing inside and out..i'm sure you learn your music before you sing it..and even if it is just like listening along to a song and singing it for people...like kareoke or something...just find a comfort level..because then when you are singing you wont have to really focus on what you're singing..you can just focus on the whole package (i mean you focus on what you're singing obv but you know what i mean)..i would tell you to imagine the audience in their underwear but, not gonna lie, that expression has never really helped me..i mean who wants to see that many people sitting around half nude, no thanks. haha but i would say just focus on the back wall (if the people are what is worrying you) or on one person that you feel comfortable singing for...the crowd wants to hear you sing..and your confidence in front of them will add to what they actually take from your performance...and if people have told you that you have a good voice, than you should use it! go for it, you totally got this. it's ok to think that you have a good voice yourself...i think that also adds to the level of comfort one has when singing in front of people..just take a few good breaths, relax, and sing your heart out..you'll do great!!
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okay ive been goin out with this guy for around a week or two now and i really like him.... i told him that i hadnt snogged anyone yet and he said that was fine and that we could take it slowly now snogging isnt really that big of a deal and i really want to.... but everytime i go to my nerves get the better of me and i chicken out and i really dont no what to do i told him this and he said it was fine but i really want to. How do i get over my nerves and just go for it im more scared of doing something wrong but now its stopping me from going places with him incase i have to...its really stupid and i really like him so if anyones got any ideas please help lol
thanks (link)
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first of all..it is completely find that you havent "snogged" anyone..and i understand your nerves getting the best of you...my advice would be to just relax when you are with him..if you're worried that you will do something wrong during the process..dont be..it is impossible to do something wrong because every kiss is different and it is easy to just go with the flow...it'll happen when it is meant to happen but just remember that he likes you just as much as you like him..and the fact that you told him is a good thing and it seems like he cares about you and he doesnt think that it is a big deal..which is perfect and so when it does happen just remember that...i know that it is easier said then done to let the nerves go..and believe me...my first kiss/snog i was terrified! (not that you are scared..but i sure was)..not gonna lie..i was like shaking from my nerves...but then i just said, screw it cause i really liked him too and it was amazing..it'l happen when you're ready....maybe it will end up being you kissing him...who knows...but it will be wonderful..just take a breathe next time you feel your nerves getting the best of you..remember he cares about you and try not to focus on anything...just be and see what happens..i'm always here for you and let me know how things go!
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does anyone know any deep love questions?
if you do can you please give me at least 3?
thank you or maybe can i have a websites has love questions other than lovingyou.com? thank you
ex.True love with a guarantee of a broken heart. but thats stupid if its true love why would there be a broken heart?
(link)
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1. People always say "boys arent worth your tears, and the one is wont make you cry"...but isnt the one that is worth it, worth the tears and the effort and the one that isnt wont make you cry because you really dont care that much?
2. Why do people say "if you love someone, let them go"..isnt that the last thing in the world you want to do if you truly love someone?
sorry i only have two...if i think of any more i'll let ya kno! sorry the first one is kinda lame..haha i tried.
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i have bad conversation skills with people i dont normally talk to alot... so the people who really get to be my friends have patience with me and stuff. is that a bad thing? i mean, im a good person and all.. but I kind of act differently in school than at home. im more easygoing at school but there.. I guess I get kinda tense, especially with tests, and peer pressure and stuff. also, some people who used to be like friends with me kind of left because of me not like bringing forth the relationship. but sometimes im awkward and just not having a good day perhaps, but i try to be optimistic.. cuz thats my nature. I'm 13 years old too. how can i get more friends? i mean, people say to be outgoing and kind and all that.. but that doesn't really help.. you know? maybe break it down to easier steps or something. cause you just cant tell someone to "talk to more people" its hard to come to those steps.. and them actually having effects. well with me... like nobody hates me from what I know of, but nobody is really like "shes my best friend!" (except for my actual bff) and stuff. i'd like to have more relationships with these people and others, too.
also, theres this popular girl in my class and for some reason my teacher made her sit next to me, along with another pretty popular class clown guy on my other side. im okay with the guy, except for what i wrote above. like he used to talk to me alot and junk when we first met and stuff, but now its like he kinda abandoned me.. and doesnt talk to me much, kinda. and the girl, shes real popular and sometimes i feel like i cant be myself or it feels weird or something. i mean.. its like im myself but kinda intiminated or idk. how do i act more like myself????????????????????????? this happens alot with popular people, unless i knew them before they were popular. i can act more like myself with people who arent so popular.. cause its a sad way of thinking but i kinda feel like im better than them.. i know i shouldnt think that, but i dont get intiminated by them or anything. ahh i have problems! help puh-leese!?! (link)
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well first of all, it isnt a bad thing at all that the people who really make the effort to be your friend are being patient with you...in fact i'm sure they dont think of that way..because they care about you and just want to be there for you..and those are the kind of true-blue friends that you want..so you are lucky to have found a few of them! and it is understandable that the school environment is one where it is hard to relax and just be yourself in, i think we all get that way. as for the people who "left you" i think they probably arent the kinda friends that you want anyway..because you deserve friends that wont just up and go..ya no? not that they did in that drastic of a sense but you know what i mean...i have moved around a lot and have had to make friends in many many different situations...so my advice to you would be to just be open to it and dont think that you're awkward because then you'll convince yourself that it is..cause awkwardness is a state of mind and if you convince yourself that it isnt (which i'm sure it isnt..you prob just think the other person is thinking that) then you'll notice a whole weight lift from your worries...being optimistic and outgoing is always helpful..but i agree, its easier said than done...people always say kind of stuff but at the same time it is like, excuse me but lets see you just wake up one day and be outgoing...cause that is a quality you can develop but the charisma they are referring to i think is something that you just are born with i guess...but you can still develop that too of course...my advice would be to just be open to the relationships you are trying to make..dont rule anybody out..always be interested in what the other person is saying..fish around for common interests..stuff to chat about...just try goint up to someone and saying hey, how has ur day been going? it is those little things that make people stop and think and put a smile on their face..and then they'll wanna be around you more becuase they know that you actually care...just be there for people, ya no? if you see someone dow, go to them...smile at people..dont be afraid to make the first move and ask to hang out or do something outside of school...it may take awhile to build up your confidence with all this stuff...which is understandable...but its a start, and once you start doing the little things..it will really make you feel better about this and your insecurities will fade away..you got this girl! just work it =)
as for the popular girl/guy thing..i think that you can just be yourself by doing what i said above...just relax, they are just people like you..ya no? you're guaranteed to be harder on yourself than you think, i'm sure that they dont think half the stuff you think..its just human nature to have that happen..and dont worry about the popularity thing..cause that might be throwing you off a little...just remember that you are amazing and your personality and style makes you YOU..dont try to act a differnt way or think about acting a different way to impress the "popular" people..i completely understand what you are saying..and i know you dont actually think you're a better person than the less popular people..but just realize that every person is just working out themselves..ya no? and those people prob dont care that they are less popular or whatever..i'm sure they dont care at all..you dont have problems darlin, not at all. we all go through this and i completely understand what you are saying...when you get the intimidated feeling or the feeling of awkwardness...just take a second...relax...smile...and breathe...and tell yourself that its just another person like you who is probably thinking they are the awkward ones...dont worry, just go with the flow...you got this! strut your stuff girl. you're fabulous =)
i'm always always here
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hey i have a problem that is killing me right now and i dont know what 2 do so here it go. I am 20 yrs old and i am dating a guy that is 17 yrs old than i am. i descided 2 let my parents no and when i told them they was so upset, they told me that they would not accept it and that i should be with someone younger. I dont know what should i do cause i love this guy and i love my parents so what should i do be with him and ignore my parent or take my parents advice (link)
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well that is definatly a tough situation...my advice would be to try telling your parents how much you care about him and how the age difference isnt a factor when it comes to love..they might be iffy about it now but maybe that is because they dont understand fully...also, i would try doing something with them all...maybe invite them all out to dinner so they can meet and talk and so your parents can see that he is a really wonderful guy who cares for you just as much as you care for him..you dont love someone because of their age, you love them because you just do. try to explain that to your parents..and that you dont want to have to choose between them (because that is never a good situation..and always ends up in a negative way)...so just try talking to them..maybe even try telling him (before you go out to dinner or something with them all) how your parents feel..and that it's not HIM they dislike, it's the age difference..they are not trying to offend him in any way i'm sure...they just want to see you happy and in love, so you need to show them that and that he is an amazing guy who truly cares for you...i hope this advice helped, please let me know how things go..i'm always here!
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okay, there's this guy and i really like him and a lot of people think that he likes me because he always hugs me and puts hisarms around me (in a nonpossessive way) and always comforts me when i'm down. but anyways. i don't have any classes with him and i have lunches with him everday but we don't sit at the same table or communicate that much. i mean like every other day he walks to class with me since my class is on the way to his. but anyways, he doesn't get on AIM alot so he basically never talks on there. winter break is starting soon and i can't imagine not talking to him for over 3 weeks! should i ask him for his phone number or something like that? and what are some things that i can do with him over winter break? like what can i do to hang out with him? i don't want to it be too forward or awkward so yeah. (link)
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i definatly think asking for his number is good thing to do..because 3ish weeks is a long time to go without talking to him and you could definatly build on your friendship/relationship if you were to hang out over break..my advice would be to go to him before break starts (in school) and ask him what he's doing over break and if he'd wanna hang out with you..if there is something going on in ur area..like a holiday tradition or something you could always ask him to tag along with you..some ideas for things to do would be to..go sledding (if there is snow), go to a movie (but i wouldnt start off with that because movies dont provide much room for talking..unless you hang out before or after), concerts are always fun, i personally love the coffee house setting.if you drink coffee (or he does, you can get other things besides coffee at coffee shops) a lot of the times cool local artists perform at coffee houses and there is still room for talking while they are performing and the ambience is really nice...but there may not be any coffee houses like that around, just keep your eyes open though for the future, and things wont be awkrawd if you tell yourself they wont be...i think that awkrawdness is a state of mind, you only think something is awkward becasue you think that is what the other person is thinking,, ya no? so just go into it thinking that it'll be great and you'll give him no indications that its wierd and so it wont have a chance to be..i'll try to think of other things that you could do (some creative things perhaps?) and let you know...otherwise, let me know how things go and just know i'm always here for you
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well like a month ago, me & my ex were arguing reallly bad , he was cursing & i was cursing back at him & he told me i was fucking stupid & that he was done with me & he dont need all my bullshit & he's happy in his relationship & he wants me to take my ass & leave & get out of his life so im like watevver i dnt need him ... & after awhile i miisssed himmm like craziii but i aint trynna begg him to be my friend soo a month went by & on my birthday which was yesterday he IMed me & said happy birthday rena! & we had a lil convo. but im confusedd! why he hurt me & yell at me then is all nice!! is he pretending to like me. his gf which is my close friend told me that he told her that he was gunna tell me happy birthday. i dont kno what i should doo. cz im gettin mixed feelings from him & dat makes me get mixed feelings for him.. (link)
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well, this is a tough situtation...in my opinion, if he said all those hurtful things to you, you should stand your ground and stay strong and not let his niceness ("mixed signals") be confused for anything than what they are..because if he said that stuff to you, then that is not respecting you..and you need someone who respects you completely...and even though he may be acting nice right now, and you both are becoming friendlier, he does have a gf and he did treat you poorly...dont forget about that just because things are looking up now...approach this with caution..that is my advice to you...and just know that you know best about what is right for you and the kind of person that you need...i'm always here for you if you need me
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Alright, let's call this guy coffee (hey, I'm staring at a coffee cup here)He's in 11th grade and I'm 9th grade. Well I really really like him and I think he likes me too. My friends keep on saying that he likes me a lot and he's hitting on me and that we'd make a cute couple. I know, grade difference...but I really don't think he wants to just get in my pants.
But anywhos, he's really super nice and sensitive to everyone's feelings and really sweet. We basically know each other through a good friend of ours...sorta I guess? Anyways, here are some things that gets me to think that he likes me:
He said he come to the strings concert (most people never come unless they're family or forced)He puts his arms around my shoulder in a nonpossessive way and walks with me to my classes. twice he did that, he almost got in trouble for not returning to class right away and almost being late. He made sure that I was okay when I was really upset and told me to cheer up and everything. He asked if I had a bf and if I did he'd feel bad about putting his arms around me. He talks about me (in a good way) to his friends and always introduces me to all his friends whenever it's possible. He calls me cute and pretty and compliments me all the time.
Anyways I really like him and do you think it's weird that I'm having this major crush on a 11th grader when I'm only a 9th grader? Do you think he likes me? And tell me the truth because I'm looking foradvice..not sugar coated answers. THANKS! (link)
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well first of all, it is definatly not wierd to like an 11th grader..i know plenty of people who are with/like people who are older/younger than them..that is not that big of a difference and the important factor is that you like him =)
i definaty think he has some sort of feelings for you..because actions do speak louder than words...and he is obv not trying to just get into your pants, because he woudnt come off as genuine if he was, and this guy seems to really care about you (which is great!!)..my advice would be to try talking to him and maybe bring something up about how you feel (or his actions, and the implications of the walking to class thing etc) or ask him to hang out one on one outside of school....it isnt strange for you to be the one to ask..because it isnt that you're asking him out its just you're asking him to hang out...i know a lot of guys like it when the girls takes the initiative to ask to hang out..plus that will show him that you're interested in cultivating a relationship with him (in whatever sense that means, gf/bf vs just friends). regardless, he seems like a really great guy and i think either way you cant go wrong..so just talk to him, hang out with him and see what happens..i'm always here if you need me
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14/f
I met this girl, lets call her Suzy, last year in school. We became really close friends. Then came summer and we kinda went our separate ways, I traveled, and she traveled. Then we found out we were in the some of the same classes together this year. On the first day of school, everything was fine... we hung out together and had fun. Then.... here comes the problem. Suzy has a best friend and she's known her until about kindergarten. Lets call her Kendra. Well Kendra and Suzy don't have any classes together, and they only see each other before school, sometimes in the hallways, and then after school.
Well my birthday was in October, and usually your friends decorate your locker when it's your birthday. Guess who forgot... SUZY!!! I reminded Suzy everyday that it was my birthday, and then I asked her if she could come to school early and decorate my locker, and she said... "oh no, I cant come to school early. My parents are working really early, so they never can bring me to school early"
I was really sad and upset on that day of my birthday. Then just a couple of days ago was Kendra's birthday. I found out that somebody decorated Kendra's locker and I asked her who she think did it. And of course she said Suzy, and then Suzy came and said it was her.
Oh My Gosh!
soooooo, to make a long question short, do you think my friendship with Suzy has gone down the drain? Do you think I should still be friends with Suzy? Why do you think Suzy has lost interest in me? Should I forget about her, and find another best friend?
THANKS SO MUCH EVERYBODY WHO READ THIS! YOU'RE A TRUE HERO. (link)
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well, i dont think that suzy doesnt care about you or the friendship anymore...because people dont just stop caring becuase they have another friend...a lot of the times summer changes people but i dont think in this case that happened...maybe it is just taking suzy a little while to sort it all out now that everyone is back in school..my advice would be to try talking to her about how you feel..in a calm way, and use the locker as an example..not that you would--but dont throw it back in her face, just try saying that you just wanted her to care or something and make the effort...but in reality it is just a locker and the friendship itself is more important...if you come to find that you both have changed in different ways over the summer, that's ok..its tough to accept that idea.but take it from me, i've had personal expierience when it comes to this sort of situation...that doesnt mean that you and suzy cant ever be as close as you were, or even closer than you were at some point..but if you find that things are working out really between you two right now, i'd suggest trying to make friendships and being open to other people as well..i'm sure you are but i'm just saying..but none of that has happened yet so i'm jumping to conclusions here, just try to talk to her..call her or pull her aside (in person is always better) and just try to tell her how you feel...she should appreciate your effort and recognize what you are saying...i wouldnt IM her with your thoughts though, because often times when it comes to friendship stuff the interent can miscommunicate and you dont want that...just keep your head up and be honest with her and you will figure out what you need to do...i'm always here if you need to talk
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This is so frustrating. Here's the deal:
I'm currently in a play. The lead, we'll call him Luke or something, is absoutely gourgous. Whenever we finish a performance, girls always flock to him. But you see, he has a girlfriend in the cast of 5 months. In order to speak to him, you need to gain her respect so she can approve of you. You see, it's really intimidating and hard to talk to him.
We're kinda friends, but I don't talk to him that much. We're acquaintances or whatever. Well, today I got really sick, and laid down and closed my eyes. It was during performance, so I sat out. A friend or two came in and asked me how I was doing after they left the stage. They sometimes would pat my shoulder then leave to change for the next scene. Well Luke came into the room, and I thought he was just going to ask how I was doing and then rush out. (you see, he is the lead, so he's always moving around) But instead, he asked how I was doing, then he bent down to my level and held onto my arm and kissed my cheek. The whole time, my eyes were closed so I had NO CLUE what was going on.
So... WHAT IS GOING ON?!
I'm going to see him and his girlfriend, for another month. What should I do? And was is just a friendly kiss or more? (link)
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well that is definatly interesting, isnt it? first of all, i wouldnt jump to any conclusions just yet because you dont want to start thinking something and then get hurt if reality and what you're thinking dont match...this is a tricky situation, my advice would be to start to chat with him more than you do now, even talk to his girlfriend..i can completely understand how intimidating that would be..to have to go through her to get to him..but if that is how it works you cant do anything about changing it...so just work with it and go with the flow in that area at least...it is clear that cares for you, otherwise he wouldnt have come in to make sure you were ok and try to make you feel better..so just keep talking to him and then you can better learn his true feelings and then even bring it up
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okay i am toooo worried aobut things like im afraid to dance at school with a guy im afraid to kiss this guy im afraid to talk to him and stuff like that what should i do??? (link)
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well, this is definatly a feeling that i'm sure is familiar to many people..i for one have been there before..my advice to you would just be to find your comfort level with him..it is a process, you dont just wake up one day and find yourself in a relationship and everything is perfect and dandy...sometimes i wish it worked that way, but unfortunatly it doesnt...take the time to get to know him..just talk to him, and i promise that if you relax and let yourself go a little more each time, you will lose the "shyness" that you have..just take a breath when you feel the fear or anxiety of being near him coming on..let yourself dance, let yourself talk to him..i can assure that when you start to gain a little more confidence, you'll shine brighter than you ever thought you could..and he will definatly notice that..but you should do it for you and dont sweat the small stuff...i'm here for you if you need me
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I'm dating this nice art-ish guy for couple months. He's into design and art stuff, but doesn't like to read books......Love sports....What should I get to him for christmas gift? (link)
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well let's see...my suggestion would be to get him something you guys could do together..if he is into art/design, maybe you could take him out to dinner and then head to an artsy coffee house (i know there are often coffee houses that host photography/artwork from various local/professional artists..also, there can be live music)..it is a really nice scene and i think if you planned an evening (dinner/concert/something like that)..that he might really enjoy that...gifts dont have to be material things, keep the mind open...the world is yours! i'm sure he'll love anything you get him =)
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ok, i really like this boy, and some people think he likes me too becuase of the way he acts around me. but on myspace, he NEVER comments ANY of my pictures. BUTTT there r these 2 girls that i know, one of them hes good friends with and he comments her pictures like "dam hot pic" and this other girl hoo he never evn says a word to he comments her picss..."dam hot pic" or stuff like that. whats going on? this makes me sooo mad! (link)
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well first of all, if he isnt commenting your myspace that does not mean he doesnt like you...there are may reasons as to why boys act one way around one girl (or girls) and completely different around other ones...he is probably just too shy/intimidated (in a good way) to comment you..if he does like you, that means he is probably over-thinking the commenting you process and does not want you to think of him as a freak or anything like that if he says the "wrong thing" ...and as for the people saying he likes you, that can be a wonderful thing, but also an iffy thing..i'm not saying they arent telling the truth, i'm sure they aren't making it up...but just be careful how much you listen to the other people..i know from personal expierience how that can mix signals...my advice is just to try talking to him..maybe comment his myspace (maybe you already do..which is good)..show him that you care/like him and maybe try even talking to him about it and how you fell..sometimes to just say "to hell with it all" and like being honst is the best way, at least then you would know whether or not it is even worth to pursue..and if not then you can find someone who is truly worth your time, and if he is then you will be so happy you took the leap to say something....and i'm sure he's lucky to even have you care enough to post about him...just keep your head up and all will work out!
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