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not many friends and ect.
i have bad conversation skills with people i dont normally talk to alot... so the people who really get to be my friends have patience with me and stuff. is that a bad thing? i mean, im a good person and all.. but I kind of act differently in school than at home. im more easygoing at school but there.. I guess I get kinda tense, especially with tests, and peer pressure and stuff. also, some people who used to be like friends with me kind of left because of me not like bringing forth the relationship. but sometimes im awkward and just not having a good day perhaps, but i try to be optimistic.. cuz thats my nature. I'm 13 years old too. how can i get more friends? i mean, people say to be outgoing and kind and all that.. but that doesn't really help.. you know? maybe break it down to easier steps or something. cause you just cant tell someone to "talk to more people" its hard to come to those steps.. and them actually having effects. well with me... like nobody hates me from what I know of, but nobody is really like "shes my best friend!" (except for my actual bff) and stuff. i'd like to have more relationships with these people and others, too.
also, theres this popular girl in my class and for some reason my teacher made her sit next to me, along with another pretty popular class clown guy on my other side. im okay with the guy, except for what i wrote above. like he used to talk to me alot and junk when we first met and stuff, but now its like he kinda abandoned me.. and doesnt talk to me much, kinda. and the girl, shes real popular and sometimes i feel like i cant be myself or it feels weird or something. i mean.. its like im myself but kinda intiminated or idk. how do i act more like myself????????????????????????? this happens alot with popular people, unless i knew them before they were popular. i can act more like myself with people who arent so popular.. cause its a sad way of thinking but i kinda feel like im better than them.. i know i shouldnt think that, but i dont get intiminated by them or anything. ahh i have problems! help puh-leese!?!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Some specific things to do to be more social: Strike up a conversation with someone who is not your friend, every day for an entire school week (in order to keep the conversation going, the trick is to get them talking about themselves. Ask what they did over the weekend, then ask them questions about their answer.) Make eye contact with people often, and smile when you do it. If there is someone you would like to be better friends with, strike up conversations with that person every day.
Join a club. Limit the time you spend in front of a computer or television, and use the time you save to take walks or be with people or learn something new.
As for tests and pressure and other things like that, when you start to get really stressed out, stop, take some deep breaths, and think about the cause of your stress. Think about how important it is, and how long it will last, and the worst that could happen if it goes wrong. Is it a test? Well, you prepared, didn't you? Teachers aren't out to trick you--the test will be easy if you know the material. And if you get a bad grade on the test, well, how will that affect your grade? Not so bad, right? And I'm sure you could talk to your teacher if you did poorly, and ask for help, or a chance to retake it.
My favorite saying is "This Too Shall Pass." It means that no matter how important or terrible something seems right now, in a week or month or year you won't even care anymore. Class will be over. Fights die down. Tears dry. Chin up! It's okay!
And try not to spend too much time thinking about popularity or whatever. Seriously, popularity does not matter. Who cares HOW MANY friends you have? I would rather have one friend who would never betray me, than a thousand "friends" who will only stay as long as it's convenient. So since you have a bff, I would say that you're set.
So my advice is basically: be nice and friendly, because it is good to be *friendly* with people, but you don't need a lot of *friends* to be happy. And don't stress too much about anything. No matter what it is, it too shall pass.
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well first of all, it isnt a bad thing at all that the people who really make the effort to be your friend are being patient with you...in fact i'm sure they dont think of that way..because they care about you and just want to be there for you..and those are the kind of true-blue friends that you want..so you are lucky to have found a few of them! and it is understandable that the school environment is one where it is hard to relax and just be yourself in, i think we all get that way. as for the people who "left you" i think they probably arent the kinda friends that you want anyway..because you deserve friends that wont just up and go..ya no? not that they did in that drastic of a sense but you know what i mean...i have moved around a lot and have had to make friends in many many different situations...so my advice to you would be to just be open to it and dont think that you're awkward because then you'll convince yourself that it is..cause awkwardness is a state of mind and if you convince yourself that it isnt (which i'm sure it isnt..you prob just think the other person is thinking that) then you'll notice a whole weight lift from your worries...being optimistic and outgoing is always helpful..but i agree, its easier said than done...people always say kind of stuff but at the same time it is like, excuse me but lets see you just wake up one day and be outgoing...cause that is a quality you can develop but the charisma they are referring to i think is something that you just are born with i guess...but you can still develop that too of course...my advice would be to just be open to the relationships you are trying to make..dont rule anybody out..always be interested in what the other person is saying..fish around for common interests..stuff to chat about...just try goint up to someone and saying hey, how has ur day been going? it is those little things that make people stop and think and put a smile on their face..and then they'll wanna be around you more becuase they know that you actually care...just be there for people, ya no? if you see someone dow, go to them...smile at people..dont be afraid to make the first move and ask to hang out or do something outside of school...it may take awhile to build up your confidence with all this stuff...which is understandable...but its a start, and once you start doing the little things..it will really make you feel better about this and your insecurities will fade away..you got this girl! just work it =)
as for the popular girl/guy thing..i think that you can just be yourself by doing what i said above...just relax, they are just people like you..ya no? you're guaranteed to be harder on yourself than you think, i'm sure that they dont think half the stuff you think..its just human nature to have that happen..and dont worry about the popularity thing..cause that might be throwing you off a little...just remember that you are amazing and your personality and style makes you YOU..dont try to act a differnt way or think about acting a different way to impress the "popular" people..i completely understand what you are saying..and i know you dont actually think you're a better person than the less popular people..but just realize that every person is just working out themselves..ya no? and those people prob dont care that they are less popular or whatever..i'm sure they dont care at all..you dont have problems darlin, not at all. we all go through this and i completely understand what you are saying...when you get the intimidated feeling or the feeling of awkwardness...just take a second...relax...smile...and breathe...and tell yourself that its just another person like you who is probably thinking they are the awkward ones...dont worry, just go with the flow...you got this! strut your stuff girl. you're fabulous =)
i'm always always here <33
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