Thank you very much. One day I will be an old wrinkly grandpa :D and I will still be beautiful inside. If we are both good and merciful maybe we can be friends in heaven :D. Have a nice day!

Ok first. It is ok if you dont know how to make out. You know making out makes us guys horny and activates the launch system. I am telling you this because you may be worried about how to make out but soon your problem will be how to deal with a horny guy. Its kinda like a 15 year old getting in his dads car and turning it on and reaving up the engine, but leaving it in park because he is not ready to drive yet. Why get him all excited. Also if your scared he wont like you if you dont make out with him. So....what.... That is stupid you dont want a boy who will stop liking him if you dont make out with him, because next it will be a handjob, then blowjob, then SEX i.e. the act of making babies....the problem is he dont want no babies he just wants to use you. You know a boy likes you if he would like you and show you he likes you by his actions.i.e. Respect. Chances are you not going to marry this boy, and what you do with him you will do with somebody else and it will just get pushed a little farther and farther and next thing you know you will have some seriouse issues on your hands. I recommend a book that I just read. YOU WILL LOVE IT! its Called "IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME" by Jason Evert. Sorry I kinda didnt really help, but maybe I did in the long run.

If you dont want to get pregnant dont be near sperm. Unless you are open to having children don't have sex. Sperm is a seed. Dont let some man throw his seed in your field unless you want plants to grow if you know what I mean. If it does not make sense for a man to throw seeds then act surprised when a plant shows up, then it does not make sense to do the very act of making babies. Stay away from sperm unless you want a plant to grow.

DUde the last thing you want is a woman to give you advice. TRUST ME!!!! PLEASEE!!!!!! What you need is the System. Go to www.askmen.com and go to the dating and relationships section and look for articles by Dr. Love or David DeAngelo if you mix these two principles you will be a happy happy happy man. Please for the sake of the male species and your dignity go to this website. I can now easily and confidently go up to a ultra hot woman and talk to her like I have known her for years then 1 min into it get her number and scram. Dont stick around to talk to her after you get it. Most pathetic guys will talk to the woman until she gets board and says ok I better go. You be different get the number and get the hell out of there. LEave her wanting more. Also when you ask for her number say "Give me your home number." Dont ask for it say "Give me your home number." and already have your pen and paper ready and out so you can begin writing. WHy???? WEll this is why. Your confidence is going to catch her off Gaurd. If you are bumbling around like a fool looking for a pen and paper then she will see that as a lack of confidence. Also the home number thing will throw her off too. Hot chicks are used to thousands of guys asking for their cell numbers and all they have to do is give it to them and silence the phone when they call, but you my friend have her home number and she cant silence that. Also by you telling her you get the upper hand because if she asks why you want it you can say never mind I dont want it you can leave now. She cant go away like that. WHen you ask her for her number that is automatic "He likes Me' but by getting in and out you say to her Yeah your cute but I am the man. Dude you need doctor Love and David Deangleo trust me. It will change your life. I used to be nervouse and shy and didnt want to get rejected but then I learned how to use the system and now I never have problems with the ladies. Also pray. With all the woman you will be able to pick up you will need Gods guidance on which one to date and to help keep your mind on what is important and that is not your Wee wee if you know what I mean. Good luck buddy but you wont need it if you use the system. God bless you.

They are called Guinneas or like the word Ginniiee pigs minus the pigs part. Sorry I cant spell but I can spot one of those bad boys. I saw one across the street when I was waiting to get on my school bus back in Highschool and I freaked out and took tons of pictures and one day looking up stuff for my guinnee pigs I clicked on a website about guinneess and their they were.

Pray for her. No person has the ability to change somebodies heart, but God. He will not let you down. My mothers father committed suicide and she was worried he would go to hell, but as we know God does not exist in time. So if we pray for him now even after he is dead God could forsee that then and We can be at peace knowing that for a God who does not exist in time the moments from when the bullet left the gun until the bullet hits his head is an eternity in which her prayer from the future was answered and Her father could have lifted his heart up saying "Oh God help me". Trust in the power of prayer. God is a dear friend who we always neglect, but is always near us. Fast for her. It does not need to be seriouse but give up little pleasures and say God I am giving this up and accepting this discomfort as my sign of love for you please dont give me any special graces but apply them all to my friend who needs you. I promise everything will be ok.

I have even better advice. Dont take the pill its not that effective and the long term side effects are not good. Also they could result in multiple births i.e. Twins, Triplets, etc. I know a form of birth control that is 99% effective and has no side effects. its high effectiveness rate, others appreciate that it is safe and healthy for the woman, and still fits with their religious beliefs.

However, while they often learn NFP for a single reason, most couples are happily surprised to find that there are other advantages to using NFP that they never suspected. We’ve compiled here the various reasons couples have told us they’re glad to have found NFP.it is 100% natural and a woman simply observes the signs of fertility and infertility that God built into her fertility cycle.

NFP uses no birth control drugs or devices, so there are no risks to a woman’s health. Practicing NFP involves respecting the body and how it functions, while artificial methods use medications or devices whose purpose is to thwart the body’s normal function. Every drug has potential side effects, which may be worth risking when trying to restore good health, but normally, we don’t take a drug product unless it is necessary to cure or relieve something that is wrong with us. Birth control drugs, however, treat your perfectly healthy, natural fertility as a disease. They are unnecessary, which makes accepting the risks of their side effects even more needless.

It is common to assume chemical birth control (the Pill, the Patch, Depo Provera) and invasive devices or surgery (the Intrauterine Device or IUD, vasectomy, or tubal ligation) are perfectly safe because they are used so widely. Not so. There are many undesirable and even risky side effects to every artificial method. Some of these side effects are more a nuisance (weight gain, irritability), and others quite serious (increased risk of blood clots, stroke, or some types of cancer). Yet they are all unnecessary.

Remember, drug companies have consistently claimed great safety for every birth control drug that has ever appeared (since 1960, in fact). With the birth control pill, however, it was generally only when a "new generation" was announced that anyone admitted the problems of the "older" version. Also, several artificial methods, like the older IUDs or Norplant, have been taken off the market over the years because health-related lawsuits, and some studies have linked chemical spermicides with birth defects.

we routinely hear of the frustrating, bothersome, and tragic consequences of the choice to use unnatural methods to space births. Some women have even lost their ability to conceive due to their use of an artificial method.


There’s no question about the reliability of the Sympto-Thermal Method — it can be used at the 99% level of effectiveness to postpone or avoid pregnancy, which is an effectiveness level as high or higher than all artificial methods except sterilization.

If you are concerned about avoiding pregnancy, you can take heart from the conclusion of the Los Angeles Study conducted by the U.S. Department of Health, Education and Welfare (now Health & Human Services) to compare the different systems of NFP under similar conditions: “There were no method failures in the STM (Sympto-Thermal Method) group,” (Maclyn E. Wade, et al., “A random prospective study of the use-effectiveness of two methods of natural family planning,” Am J Ob and Gyn 141:4 (15 Octo 1981) 368-376). A “method failure” is an unplanned pregnancy among couples who follow the rules of a given method. MOst doctors dont recommend this Gem because they cant make money if you dont need to get drugs or have a visit. CHeck out this link.


http://www.bygpub.com/natural/natural-family-planning.htm

My dear friend I know what you are going through and I know what will make you feel better. St. Therese of Liseux said "I dont think about the past and I take great care not to worry about the future, because otherwise I would not be able to keep my patience." Make an extra special effort to focus on the very moment that you are living and that which you are doing at everysecond. DO even the smallest task with great love, detail, and reverance...do them perfectly with all of your attention. If you do this and anything bad happens you can be assured that you will not be upset, because you can honestly say I did everything I possibly could. People get upset when they dont achieve something that they should have, but it is only in doing everything we can at the present moment that even in our failures we can walk away satisfied. Do all things with love and reverance as if you used every action as a little gift of love to God. I gaurantee that all your problems will go away if you stick to it.

If you feel guilty stop doing it. Never go against your conscience. It is your best judgement and be very carefull not to rationalize your actions. Your conscience is like a compass if it is set to North (Good compass) and you go against it enough times your compass will begin to lead you in the wrong direction and you will really be in hot water. SO my best advice is to use your best judgement and do the things that you know in your heart are right. Just because you like somebody does not mean that it is ok to act on it. I.E. Married man likes his secretary and spends a lot of time with her and does nothing physically wrong he is still not off the hook.

I hope I helped.

I have even better advice. Dont take the pill its not that effective and the long term side effects are not good. Also they could result in multiple births i.e. Twins, Triplets, etc. I know a form of birth control that is 99% effective and has no side effects. its high effectiveness rate, others appreciate that it is safe and healthy for the woman, and still fits with their religious beliefs.

However, while they often learn NFP for a single reason, most couples are happily surprised to find that there are other advantages to using NFP that they never suspected. We’ve compiled here the various reasons couples have told us they’re glad to have found NFP.it is 100% natural and a woman simply observes the signs of fertility and infertility that God built into her fertility cycle.

NFP uses no birth control drugs or devices, so there are no risks to a woman’s health. Practicing NFP involves respecting the body and how it functions, while artificial methods use medications or devices whose purpose is to thwart the body’s normal function. Every drug has potential side effects, which may be worth risking when trying to restore good health, but normally, we don’t take a drug product unless it is necessary to cure or relieve something that is wrong with us. Birth control drugs, however, treat your perfectly healthy, natural fertility as a disease. They are unnecessary, which makes accepting the risks of their side effects even more needless.

It is common to assume chemical birth control (the Pill, the Patch, Depo Provera) and invasive devices or surgery (the Intrauterine Device or IUD, vasectomy, or tubal ligation) are perfectly safe because they are used so widely. Not so. There are many undesirable and even risky side effects to every artificial method. Some of these side effects are more a nuisance (weight gain, irritability), and others quite serious (increased risk of blood clots, stroke, or some types of cancer). Yet they are all unnecessary.

Remember, drug companies have consistently claimed great safety for every birth control drug that has ever appeared (since 1960, in fact). With the birth control pill, however, it was generally only when a "new generation" was announced that anyone admitted the problems of the "older" version. Also, several artificial methods, like the older IUDs or Norplant, have been taken off the market over the years because health-related lawsuits, and some studies have linked chemical spermicides with birth defects.

we routinely hear of the frustrating, bothersome, and tragic consequences of the choice to use unnatural methods to space births. Some women have even lost their ability to conceive due to their use of an artificial method.


There’s no question about the reliability of the Sympto-Thermal Method — it can be used at the 99% level of effectiveness to postpone or avoid pregnancy, which is an effectiveness level as high or higher than all artificial methods except sterilization.

If you are concerned about avoiding pregnancy, you can take heart from the conclusion of the Los Angeles Study conducted by the U.S. Department of Health, Education and Welfare (now Health & Human Services) to compare the different systems of NFP under similar conditions: “There were no method failures in the STM (Sympto-Thermal Method) group,” (Maclyn E. Wade, et al., “A random prospective study of the use-effectiveness of two methods of natural family planning,” Am J Ob and Gyn 141:4 (15 Octo 1981) 368-376). A “method failure” is an unplanned pregnancy among couples who follow the rules of a given method. MOst doctors dont recommend this Gem because they cant make money if you dont need to get drugs or have a visit. CHeck out this link.


http://www.bygpub.com/natural/natural-family-planning.htm

When you date somebody would you want some girl waiting around for you to break up? You would think she is pathetic. Just keep livin one day at a time and if things work out great, but if not its for the best.

I dont think so. Most people gave up because he is already president. They really dont do any good since He is not up for election anymore. He can do pretty much whatever he wants. The only hope you have left to getting through to him is by praying.

well, I think he is making a fool out of himself and everyone else can see through him. You won't need to do anything because he's taking care of it for you. kind of ironic!

try paul mitchel...that's what I use. also shampoo with cold water (if not the whole time, then at least at the very end of your wash). and don't use herbal essence, it will cause your hair to burn if you use a hairdryer or straightener...alternate shampoos/conditioners after you finish your bottles.

The monks of St. Anthony's remain wonderfully Dark Age in their outlook and conversation. Exorcisms, miraculous healings and ghostly apparitions of long-dead saints are to the monks what doorstep milk deliveries are to suburban Londoners - unremarkable everyday occurrences that would never warrant a passing mention if foreigners did not always seem to be so inexplicably amazed by them:

"See up there?" said Abuna Dioscorus, as I was finishing my egg. He pointed to the space between the two towers of the abbey church. "In June 1987 in the middle of the night our father St. Antony appeared there hovering on a cloud of shining light."

"You saw this?" I asked.

"No," said Fr. Dioscorus. "I'm short-sighted."

He took off his spectacles to show me the thickness of the glass.

"I can barely see the abbot when I sit beside him at supper," he said. "But many other fathers saw the apparition. On one side of St. Antony stood St. Mark the Hermit and on the other was Abuna Yustus."

"Abuna Yustus?"

"He is one of our fathers. He used to be the sacristan."

"So what was he doing up there?"

"He had just departed this life."

"Oh," I said. "I see."

"Officially he's not a saint yet, but I'm sure he will be soon. His canonization is up for discussion at the next Coptic synod. His relics have been the cause of many miracles: blind children have been made to see, the lame have got up from their wheelchairs..."

"All the usual sort of stuff."

"Exactly. But you won't believe this-"

Here Fr. Dioscorus lowered his voice into a whisper.

"You won't believe this but we had some visitors from Europe two years ago - Christians, some sort of Protestants - who said they didn't believe in the power of relics!"

The monk stroked his beard, wide-eyed with disbelief.

"No," he continued. "I'm not joking. I had to take the Protestants aside and explain that we believe that St. Antony and all the fathers have not died, that they live with us, continually protecting us and looking after us. When they are needed - when we go to their graves and pray to their relics - they appear and sort out our problems."

"Can the monks see them?"

"Who? Protestants?"

"No. These deceased fathers."

"Abuna Yustus is always appearing," said Fr. Dioscorus matter-of-factly. "In fact one of the fathers had a half-hour conversation with him the day before yesterday. And of course St. Antony makes fairly regular appearances - although he is very busy these days answering prayers all over the world. But even when we cannot see the departed fathers we can always feel them. And besides - there are many other indications that they are with us."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "What sort of indications?"

"Well, take last week for instance. The Bedouin from the desert are always bringing their sick to us for healing. Normally it is something quite simple: we let them kiss a relic, give them an aspirin and send them on their way. But last week they brought in a small girl who was possessed by a devil. We took the girl into the church, and as it was the time for vespers one of the fathers went off to ring the bell for prayers. When he saw this the devil inside the girl began to cry: 'Don't ring the bell! Please don't ring the bell!' We asked him why not. 'Because,' replied the devil, 'when you ring the bell it's not just the living monks who come into the church: all the holy souls of the fathers join with you too, as well as great multitudes of angels and archangels. How can I remain in the church when that happens? I'm not staying in a place like that.' At that moment the bell began to ring, the girl shrieked and the devil left her! "

Fr. Dioscorus clicked his fingers: "Just like that. So you see," he said. "That proves it."

The Coptic monks who live in St. Antony's today are kind, gentle men, much more modest and reasonable than the bristling Greek brigands of Mar Saba or their sometimes fanatical brethren on Mount Athos. This evening I had a long conversation with Fr. Dioscorus in the refectory of the guest quarters. As the last light was fading gradually from the sky outside, I asked him about his motives for becoming a monk and why he had left the comforts of Alexandria for the harsh climate of the deserts.

"Many people think we come to the desert to punish ourselves, because it is hot and dry and difficult to live in," said Fr. Dioscorus. "But it's not true. We come because we love it here."

"What is there to love about the desert?"

"We love the peace, the silence. When you really want to talk to someone you want to sit together in a quiet place and talk, not to be in the midst of a crowd of other people. How can you talk properly in a crowd? So it is with us. We come here because we want to be alone with our God. As St. Antony once said: 'Let your heart be silent, then God will speak.' "

"But you do seem to want to punish yourselves deliberately: the hot, coarse robes you wear, the long Lenten fasts you all undertake..."

"Ah," said Fr. Dioscorus, "But you see fasting is not punishment. It is a tool, not an end in itself. It is not easy to communicate with God on a full stomach. When you have had a big meal you cannot concentrate your mind. You want to go to sleep, not to sit in church praying. To pray successfully it is better to be a little hungry."

"But doing without possessions: isn't that a punishment?"

"No: it's a choice. For myself I have begun to get rid of many of the things which clutter up my cell. Last week I threw out my chair. I don't need it. Now I sit on the floor. Why should I bother with extra food, with spare clothes, with unnecessary furniture? All you need is a piece of bread and enough covering for the body. The less you have, the less you have to distract you from God. Do you understand?"

I smiled, uncertainly.

"Well just look around this room. When I am in here I think that the chair is in the wrong place, I must move it. Or may be that the lamp is out of oil, I must fill it. Or...or that that shutter is broken and I must get it mended. But in the desert there is just sand. You don't think of anything else; there is nothing to disturb you. It should be the same in a monk's cell. The less there is, the easier it is to talk to God."

"Do you find it easy?"

"It is never easy, but with practice I find it less difficult," said Dioscorus. "The spiritual life is like a ladder. Every day if you are disciplined and make the effort you find you will rise up, understand a little better, find it a little easier to concentrate, find that your mind is wandering less and less. When you pray alone in your cell without distraction you feel as if you are in front of God, as if nothing is coming to you except from God. When you succeed - if you do manage to banish distractions and communicate directly with God - then the compensation outweighs any sufferings or hardships. You feel as if something, which was dim, is suddenly lighted for you. You feel full of light and pleasure: it is like a blinding charge of electricity..."

"But you don't have to come into the middle of the desert to find an empty room free of distractions. You can find that anywhere: in Cairo, or Alex, or London..."

"What you say is true," said Fr. Dioscorus with a smile. "You can pray anywhere. After all, God is everywhere so you can find him everywhere."

The monk gestured to the darkening sand dunes outside:

"But in the desert," he said, "in the pure clean atmosphere, in the silence - there you can find yourself. And unless you begin to know yourself how can you even begin to search for God?"

Brilliant QUESTION!!! I applaud you for you search for the question of WHo am I? Where did I come from? and where am I going? Beautiful. I have an equally beautiful answer but first.

I think that you are missing the mark just a tad abou the whole miracles thing and the true reason that Jesus came. He did not come to do miracles. He only did miracles so that people would believe that He is God in the Flesh who will be given over to death so that he could free us from it. He became man so that man could become like God. That is he became mortal so that man could become immortal. But that is besides the point. Your question was why isnt natural law Good enough and why should religion be put to the way side.

Well because if I dont belive that man is created in the image and likeness of God and he is just a creature with no eternal destiny and no seed of glory within him then I will treat him like just a creature. I will treat him like I treat my cow. I will be nice for now but if I have to I will kill him and eat him he is just a cow. I will be nice to my mother but if I have to she is just a creature and I can kill her if she gets in the way of my happiness.

We would have to put society as the ultimate Good because our morals would be based on what is fair and good for the society. So like Hitler, Marx, and other Socialists and communists who put society as number one and people where just parts to make that society work they could easily kill people for the sake of making society work or if they got in there way or if they just didnt like you.

BUT BIG OLE BUTT!

IF man is greater than just an ant and not just because we are smarter, but because We are made in the image and likeness of God. If that despair that we feel in our Heart when we think of death as complete nothingness is because man was made for eternal bliss. That feeling we get at the happiest moment of our life and we realize it still could have been a little more perfect or when you realize that the glory of winning the olympics or a world series is over so fast. WE have that thirst in us that little despair telling us we were meant for an eternity of Complete Happiness. That we have to treat eachother as we are. Made in the image and likeness of God. How much more we treat a human when he has the dignity of God. Every great mass killing and trajedy even the Muslim terrorists is because they dont respect the dignity of Human life. That dignity is the driving force of True Christianity. In catholisicm We believe that Man in being created in the image of God gives great dignity but The very fact that God would become man to atone for the sins we have committed just shows how much greater dignity we have for being people. SO by God revealing himself in religion he reveals man to himself. You could never get rid of religion.

You know why


Because people Have been trying to kill religion for 2000 years. It was legal to kill christians for 300 years after christ and on the 313 year Christianity took over the entire Roman empire. It spread from 12 men to Millions in 300 years. The catholic Church has been around and everybody has tried to kill her but christ said . The Gates of Hell shall not prevail.


. Science can't prove love, science can't prove ideas, science can't even prove science. But science does prove the greatness of God for having designed us so smart. Think abou it. The very fact that there is life on earth is statistically almost impossible its like then multiply that to the possibility of intelegent life on earth which is another 1 to 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 then to the very fact that we individuals are here online at this very moment multiply another trillion to that. Science would lean towards a Creator. Any gambling man would. Also the micro biologist, archealogoist and astronomist less than 1 percent are atheist because they appreciate the great design and complexity of life and the cosmos. 50% of all sociologist and psychologist are atheist because they are putting to much trust in the hands of the mindless masses and have a human explanation for all the evils of society. But so do I. God is good and being Good he gives people the freedom to choose their ends. It would be a Bad God that would force everybody to do Good and not let them choose. SO if you do Good you have merit for doing good, if you do bad you dont. BUt any way Good question.



I hope I was of some help to you. Read this it will blow your whistle or float your boat or your preferance. It is from a secular magazine
http://www.travelintelligence.com/wsd/articles/art_755.html

Your boyfriend will get jealouse. How would you feel if he got something nice for two of his female friends because they were lonely. You would say "If they are so lonely they should hang out together on Valentines day" Well thats what my girlfriend would say. Unless I got her something that was like 10x the combined cost of both the gifts put together. Good Luck. Infact giving them a present of V day will make them feel even worse because a friend got them something because they didnt have girlfriends. If you dont get them anything at least they can say "Dude I dont have a chic because I have not met one who is up to my standards" but if you get them something you totally take that manhood away. So considering the 3 red flags and only 1 green one I would leave the Feast of St. Valentine to your BOyfriend. Just get a little card for your buds.

Forgive him for being so rude and not giving you the respect owed to you as a person with feelings. You dont have to verbalize this to him just do it in your heart. Then Get over him. Dont think about him, dont go out of your way to talk to him or see him. When you start to miss him remember how quickly he turned on you and think towards the future when you are with a real man who wont leave your side and will respect you as a woman and not try to get sex with out proving his love to you by marrying you first.

The monks of St. Anthony's remain wonderfully Dark Age in their outlook and conversation. Exorcisms, miraculous healings and ghostly apparitions of long-dead saints are to the monks what doorstep milk deliveries are to suburban Londoners - unremarkable everyday occurrences that would never warrant a passing mention if foreigners did not always seem to be so inexplicably amazed by them:

"See up there?" said Abuna Dioscorus, as I was finishing my egg. He pointed to the space between the two towers of the abbey church. "In June 1987 in the middle of the night our father St. Antony appeared there hovering on a cloud of shining light."

"You saw this?" I asked.

"No," said Fr. Dioscorus. "I'm short-sighted."

He took off his spectacles to show me the thickness of the glass.

"I can barely see the abbot when I sit beside him at supper," he said. "But many other fathers saw the apparition. On one side of St. Antony stood St. Mark the Hermit and on the other was Abuna Yustus."

"Abuna Yustus?"

"He is one of our fathers. He used to be the sacristan."

"So what was he doing up there?"

"He had just departed this life."

"Oh," I said. "I see."

"Officially he's not a saint yet, but I'm sure he will be soon. His canonization is up for discussion at the next Coptic synod. His relics have been the cause of many miracles: blind children have been made to see, the lame have got up from their wheelchairs..."

"All the usual sort of stuff."

"Exactly. But you won't believe this-"

Here Fr. Dioscorus lowered his voice into a whisper.

"You won't believe this but we had some visitors from Europe two years ago - Christians, some sort of Protestants - who said they didn't believe in the power of relics!"

The monk stroked his beard, wide-eyed with disbelief.

"No," he continued. "I'm not joking. I had to take the Protestants aside and explain that we believe that St. Antony and all the fathers have not died, that they live with us, continually protecting us and looking after us. When they are needed - when we go to their graves and pray to their relics - they appear and sort out our problems."

"Can the monks see them?"

"Who? Protestants?"

"No. These deceased fathers."

"Abuna Yustus is always appearing," said Fr. Dioscorus matter-of-factly. "In fact one of the fathers had a half-hour conversation with him the day before yesterday. And of course St. Antony makes fairly regular appearances - although he is very busy these days answering prayers all over the world. But even when we cannot see the departed fathers we can always feel them. And besides - there are many other indications that they are with us."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "What sort of indications?"

"Well, take last week for instance. The Bedouin from the desert are always bringing their sick to us for healing. Normally it is something quite simple: we let them kiss a relic, give them an aspirin and send them on their way. But last week they brought in a small girl who was possessed by a devil. We took the girl into the church, and as it was the time for vespers one of the fathers went off to ring the bell for prayers. When he saw this the devil inside the girl began to cry: 'Don't ring the bell! Please don't ring the bell!' We asked him why not. 'Because,' replied the devil, 'when you ring the bell it's not just the living monks who come into the church: all the holy souls of the fathers join with you too, as well as great multitudes of angels and archangels. How can I remain in the church when that happens? I'm not staying in a place like that.' At that moment the bell began to ring, the girl shrieked and the devil left her! "

Fr. Dioscorus clicked his fingers: "Just like that. So you see," he said. "That proves it."

The Coptic monks who live in St. Antony's today are kind, gentle men, much more modest and reasonable than the bristling Greek brigands of Mar Saba or their sometimes fanatical brethren on Mount Athos. This evening I had a long conversation with Fr. Dioscorus in the refectory of the guest quarters. As the last light was fading gradually from the sky outside, I asked him about his motives for becoming a monk and why he had left the comforts of Alexandria for the harsh climate of the deserts.

"Many people think we come to the desert to punish ourselves, because it is hot and dry and difficult to live in," said Fr. Dioscorus. "But it's not true. We come because we love it here."

"What is there to love about the desert?"

"We love the peace, the silence. When you really want to talk to someone you want to sit together in a quiet place and talk, not to be in the midst of a crowd of other people. How can you talk properly in a crowd? So it is with us. We come here because we want to be alone with our God. As St. Antony once said: 'Let your heart be silent, then God will speak.' "

"But you do seem to want to punish yourselves deliberately: the hot, coarse robes you wear, the long Lenten fasts you all undertake..."

"Ah," said Fr. Dioscorus, "But you see fasting is not punishment. It is a tool, not an end in itself. It is not easy to communicate with God on a full stomach. When you have had a big meal you cannot concentrate your mind. You want to go to sleep, not to sit in church praying. To pray successfully it is better to be a little hungry."

"But doing without possessions: isn't that a punishment?"

"No: it's a choice. For myself I have begun to get rid of many of the things which clutter up my cell. Last week I threw out my chair. I don't need it. Now I sit on the floor. Why should I bother with extra food, with spare clothes, with unnecessary furniture? All you need is a piece of bread and enough covering for the body. The less you have, the less you have to distract you from God. Do you understand?"

I smiled, uncertainly.

"Well just look around this room. When I am in here I think that the chair is in the wrong place, I must move it. Or may be that the lamp is out of oil, I must fill it. Or...or that that shutter is broken and I must get it mended. But in the desert there is just sand. You don't think of anything else; there is nothing to disturb you. It should be the same in a monk's cell. The less there is, the easier it is to talk to God."

"Do you find it easy?"

"It is never easy, but with practice I find it less difficult," said Dioscorus. "The spiritual life is like a ladder. Every day if you are disciplined and make the effort you find you will rise up, understand a little better, find it a little easier to concentrate, find that your mind is wandering less and less. When you pray alone in your cell without distraction you feel as if you are in front of God, as if nothing is coming to you except from God. When you succeed - if you do manage to banish distractions and communicate directly with God - then the compensation outweighs any sufferings or hardships. You feel as if something, which was dim, is suddenly lighted for you. You feel full of light and pleasure: it is like a blinding charge of electricity..."

"But you don't have to come into the middle of the desert to find an empty room free of distractions. You can find that anywhere: in Cairo, or Alex, or London..."

"What you say is true," said Fr. Dioscorus with a smile. "You can pray anywhere. After all, God is everywhere so you can find him everywhere."

The monk gestured to the darkening sand dunes outside:

"But in the desert," he said, "in the pure clean atmosphere, in the silence - there you can find yourself. And unless you begin to know yourself how can you even begin to search for God?"



You wanted somebody to tell you something that would calm you down. Print that out, take it with you and think about it.

No dont spend to much money on him now, because then that will set the tone for the entire relationship. You dont want to have to buy the boy a rolex next year so keep it simple. A card is an excellent idea, just make sure you write something cute/funny in it. Happy Feast of St. Valentine

To those who believe no explanation is necessary. To those who don't believe no explanation is good enough.

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