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Member Since: May 15, 2016
Answers: 18
Last Update: May 15, 2016
Visitors: 1236


23/f, 29/m

Yes, the subject says it all. My boyfriend of two years broke up with me again. This wasn't the first or second time. This is kind of the same reason from before.. He doesn't see a future with me.

Yesterday, I saw him and things were perfectly fine. But I felt that something was off and his reaction to me a few days ago, telling him that we've been together for about two years, was strange. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he's been thinking lately.

He told me that he watched his friend's marriages fail, my parents are getting divorced, his brother's relationship go on and off and it made him realize that he didn't want to waste my time. He said the foundation of our relationship wasn't very strong because of the trust issues that we had, it made things difficult. He said he wanted to have a marriage that had a solid foundation and that the relationship won't end, and he didn't see that with us. He said it wasn't that he wanted to replace me but that he thinks I should replace him so I can find someone I want to marry by the age I wanted. He said that he knows that I had a particular age that I wanted to get married. He said that he didn't see a future with me. He said that he was happy with me and that I'm a wonderful person, but he didn't see a future with me. He said he didn't see our happiness as a long-term thing.

Part of me knew this was going to happen, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't suck to hear it. But then it got conflicting and frustrated because he said that he takes full responsibility about what happened in our relationship (his lies, betrayal, etc). But it got conflicting because he told me that he still loves me.

After thinking for awhile and crying here and there, I told him that I guess that it makes sense. I always told myself that I wanted to be with someone who would put in the effort to be with me and that no matter what happens, he'd still want to be with me. I told him that I noticed that I wasn't really a priority for him. That I was to be with someone who loved his job, but loved me a little more (not in the way he won't go to work, but if I was to commute elsewhere if we were married, if we'd move). And because I wanted that from him, I kept making him a priority and I kept treating him the way I wanted to be treated to finally have him treat me the same way... But it wasn't making things better, it just kept getting worse. That he saw it, but just didn't do anything about it.

And he told me that he did and that I was a priority and that he loved me more than he loves his job, etc. It felt awfully conflicting because his actions said otherwise. He always did this. Every time I bring something up and makes me realize why we weren't the right fit (just agreeing with his point), he makes a counter-argument trying to say that we were the right fit.

Then he said that he'll still go with me to my best friend's wedding if I'd like him to and that we can watch the last season of FRIENDS together if I'd like. It just made me feel really confused.

In the end, I felt really sad, confused, and frustrated. It just seemed like he was saying, "Hey, we are perfect for each other. We want the same things, but we just don't have the right foundation for it. I love you, though. Bye."

What should I do? Do you think he's going to come back and talk with me again? Do you think he's doing this on purpose and trying to see if I still care for him? I don't understand what he's trying to do. (link)
He's not very brave. He wants to ditch it all with you because he messed up and he'll never be the hero that he wants to be to his wife and children. He wants to be perfect to someone and he's flawed in your eyes. He can't deal with that so he'd rather try again with someone else. A clean slate if you will. Again not very brave. Move on. Find the man who will be your hero and move mountains to be with you.


So i met this girl through a friend and we've been friends for months, we talk a lot and sometimes we argue about silly things. I told her I liked her and she said she likes me back but we haven't really talked about what we are right now wheather we are bf and gf...But my problem is if I dont text or call her she won't text or call me, but if i do we talk a lot. Also she doesnt reply to my messages immediately even though she has seen the message, i usually text her with facebook messanger(it shows the message as seen when shes read it). Now i am confused i don't know wheather she really likes me back or she said that to make me happy. To me she's perfect, she's all i need in a girl...and oh did i mention she's perfect...for me (link)
You should have higher standards of perfect. To me a perfect fit would be considerate. That means responding to your messages in a somewhat timely manner. She also doesn't initiate contact. That's what girls do when they're not that into you but feel uncomfortable telling you. We ladies are socialized to not hurt feelings so we just never call or text and hope that a guy who is puppy dogging will just get the hint.

Arguing about silly things in a relationship that's not even a relationship is also not a measure for perfection. It's a measure of incompatibility. She's probably seeing somebody else and doesn't know how to let you down easy. If she's not calling,you're not on her mind. If you're not on her mind she is thinking about someone else.


I am 21 yo guy. In the past i have come out of an abusive relationship after i got fed up. I asked many questions which were answered here and have helped me deal with the trauma. However i m trying to build my life back now, And start afresh. I just get very anxious when my ex suddenly calls up asking to patch up. We did meet one last time before i called it quits. It however turned into a bashing session where i was again blamed for not keeping promises, and she was ready to forgive me and want to be with me. I was just so angry. When i flared up she said you hav always been like this,just gettin angry on me. Ironically for the entire relationship she was constantly getting angry and even threw my gifts and threw my ring in the drains just because she was angry. She even said she felt bad about the ring but it was okay because she loved me so she could angry on me too. I was the one always making up to her. Honestly i was a loser. Afraid she was the only one for me and would not be able to deal with it if she leaves me. She broke up 7 times in a year and i always apologized. Once i did not. Then she said i am so useless i cant win her back and i do not love her. She realized my value when i left and called many times. I however said no. Its just i want to start again. Be successful. Be myself. Be friends with girls again which i was stopped in the relationship. She calls me sometimes like wish me luck et al. I say thank you and cut off but it really haunts me for a month. The trauma. I need help !! My exams begin in 10 days
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You absolutely do not need to be friends with her anymore. Change her name in your contacts to "Do not answer" so it will remind you not to talk to her anymore. If she leaves a voice mail delete it without listening to it. Don't read or respond to her texts. The only way to rid yourself of an energy vampire is to quit being their food source. These kind of people will s say you are being mean because you won't talk to them anymore. This is a lie to keep your energy accessible to them. You are not mean, you are saving your own life.

When you're not appreciated in a relationship it's very seductive to think that the abuser somehow, miraculously realized how great you are. You'll be vindicated and validated.....right? NOPE! They're just trying to suck you back in so they can keep stomping all over you. No attention to her anymore. All thoughts to your exams and good luck.


What are good intimidating volley ball team names? (link)
Spiked Punch


How do I encourage my boyfriend to get his grades up (link)
Great lessons to learn early in life.
1. You cannot make somebody do something they don't want to do.
2. You can't change a man.
He might be different for a while but if he's doing or not doing anything because of pressure from you, it will eventually blow up in your face.

Ask him for ideas for improving his grades. If they are his own idea, he's more likely to follow through. Study together, maybe that will help.


I've been deppresed for about 2 years now, and I'm struggling to cope with it anymore. I've already attempted suicide once, but I just ended up waking up in my bed. It's just been getting worse because of the fact I'm failing almost every class in 9th grade because I have no motavation, one of my freinds said something extremly mean, and now I really want to die.

I've tryed the suicide hotline but that didn't work, and I know even if I get help I most likely won't be able to take anti deppresents because my mom had bipolar disorder genes and when she took an anti deppresents she became bi-polor. (link)
Please try the suicide hot line again. You don't get the same person every time. Maybe the next one will be more helpful. I'm sorry your friend was mean to you. Perhaps he/she is not a good person to have as a friend. Never base your opinion of yourself on the comments of others. Opinions are like a-holes, everyone's got one and most of them stink. Lol

Seriously though, I understand that you are scared of medication but you are not your mom. There are many different types of help you can get from talking to a counselor to finding the things in the world that give you joy and focusing on them. Please don't give up. Life gets so much easier after high school.


I'm a total mess! I just don't know what to do anymore. I always year to see him, but whenever I do, it hurts me. He's constantly toying with me. He uses to his advantage the fact that he knows I like him. He always tells me thing he knows I wouldn't want to hear like he talks about how much he likes a girl, but he would never tell me who it is. Always making me say things I wouldn't want to say about myself. It just really hurts to know he would hate me that much that he'll toy with me. I just don't know what to do. I'm in a complete mess! (link)
You're in an abuse cycle with this person. You are worth more and don't need his attention. The longer you stay around this person the weaker you will get because he is feeding off of your attention and breaking you down at the same time. It will be hard but you need to break away from this person now and completely. It doesn't matter what he says to keep you around, it's all manipulation. If he had any kindness toward you he wouldn't do things that hurt you. Abusers find people who will tolerate their crap and then feed off of you until your a hollow,broken shell of a person. Run away and don't look back. Don't take his calls. It will hurt for a bit while you rebuild yourself but you're worth it.


Ohkay... Got a major problem. I have way too much attention and it has ruined my life up to the present in terms of ALL of my most important affairs!!! There are people, who occupy themselves with life's data, and misuse it in ALL the easiest systems of easy acceptances. It actually equates to "stalking & hostile harassment". However, mostly going "uncaught", I am under full assaults. I've preservered, to retain itemized assets of value,but I keep finding my self in lousy communities where I can not use my talents and skills. Additionally, I can't keep undesired "stragglers" out of my affairs.. It's been almost a decade, and for every bad, I have to supply a good. I'm exhausted, fatigued and unsupported. Yearning complete independence (in the most formal of senses), how do I remove the "negative voo-doos" from all items pertaining to me??? (link)
The phrasing of your question is difficult to understand. Consider rewriting it.


Hi guys. Hoping you can help with any info.

It started around 4 months ago.
I felt like I had something stuck on my left tonsil.
I noticed each morning without fail, it was swollen. It takes up half my throat and my uvula ends up sitting on it.

By around midday, the swelling goes down and it looks normal (ish) size.

During the day, it swells and goes down again.

I've noticed there are 2 tiny yellow, crystal looking bumps towards the back of it.

The feeling of something on it is pretty much constant.

I have been to the doctors 3 times.
They tell me they've never heard of this. I was given antibiotics just incase (they didn't help) and been told it could be anxiety (I really don't think it is)

Had anyone got any ideas? It's making me crazy. Google either says Cancer or tonsillitis! It can't be tonsillitis because it doesn't hurt or have pus on.

Thanks : ) (link)
Google info on tonsil stones.


Can some one get pregnant by using a condom (link)
I have a child from a condom coming off during sex. If you are going to be engaged in adult activities you need to take care of birth control in an adult way. If you're male learn proper condom placement and sizing. If your female get on the pill and still require condom usage.


I need help with my boyfriend's family ! I'm black and he's white and we've known each other since 6th grade but didn't start talking till the end of 8th. We really started talking at an end of middle school graduation party at my friend's house (we were 14) and we ended up getting really close really fast and he asked me out and I said yes. We dated for about 6 months without either of our families knowing because they're both overbearing and very controlling but about the middle of ninth grade I told my mom and she was not okay with it but I continued to date him. About the start of 10th grade I asked him why I hadn't met his family and he finally told me that they're against interracial relationship. I was so upset and hurt, but I still wanted him to tell his parents. A few weeks later, he did and they were furious and called him every name in the book. The night he told them, he invited me over because he was so mad and he snuck me in. We talked for a while and that talking led to hugging and kissing and touching and we ended up having sex (both our first times). His parents found out (I don't know how) and now they're even more furious and think I'm a whore now ?! What can I do to make them like me?! We're both 16 and have jobs, so it's not like we're doing anything horrible. We hang out all the time when we aren't working. I go over to his house a lot and his parents just act uncomfortable. They're nice to me, but they just seem not happy about us. What can I do to make them like me ? (link)
Be your normal sweet self around them. The only way to get people around their prejudices is for them to have an experience that contradicts what they think they know. Work on homework with him out in the dining room so they can see how you interact with their son. Talk to his mom one on one. It might be frightening but you can do things that are hard. Here's what to say, "You have raised a wonderful son whom I love. He treats me with kindness and respect and I know that's because of his parents. I may not be what you expected but love doesn't see color. As long as we're together I will be good to him too" Lastly, get on the pill if you're going to be having sex. You are engaging in adult activities so handle it like an adult. I have a child from my teen years due to the fact that most teenage boys don't know how to use condoms properly.

Now, show this next part to him. Don't just tell him what it says because then you're telling him how to handle his family and that shouldn't come from you so I'll do it.

Hey there guy. It's time to be a man and stick up for your lady and your choice to be with her. Tell your parents that you love them and know that they only have your best interests at heart but your relationship choices will NEVER be open to that kind of derogatory criticism. If they think you are making a mistake tell them that it's your mistake to make and the lessons you learn will be about relationships and about what racist assholes your parents are. It's important to give boundaries to parents as you are becoming an adult so that they don't think they can boss you around all your life. But do it with love toward them not anger. Lastly, always use protection and learn how to use it correctly. Condoms fall off when new users are not properly educated on the placement technique and what size to get.


There's a guy at my work place who I had a crush on who seemed to like me too. Most of my coworkers pointed it out and has been talking about it for weeks. He would flirt with me, playfully push or tease me and go out of his way to talk to me which gave me the idea that he was interested. Anyway he has a long distance gf and I guess things aren't that solid between them because apparently he was talking to this other girl from his second job. So yesterday I heard from someone I work with that he basically told my coworkers that I told him that I like him and how I can't help myself but to like him and I'm throwing myself at him when he's not interested and said in a subtle way that I was ugly or unattractive. I was extremely upset by all of this because most of what he said was a lie, I would never jeopardize my job by telling my coworker I like him and I feel humiliated. Especially since I was so kind to him in the past by giving him rides to his second(I'm just a genuinely nice person) like there was no bad blood there. Why would he diss me like that?
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Because he's an ass. This is a good lesson in what types of guys to stay away from.


I really need help (link)
Meditate. Your soul already knows the answer just listen to it.


I'm 14 almost 15 and I love always wanted a pet. When I was 7 I wanted guinea pigs and my parents would not get me one. Thankfully, my aunt brought me two and they were great. My dad would help me change the cage sometimes, but my mom wouldn't even go near them. Eventually they died and now it's need years since I've had a pet and I want a dog. My parents really don't a dog. My dad, again, isn't super against they idea other than the cost, but my mom just hates animals. She says she's not scared of them but I don't know. If she's not scared, do you think there's a way I convince her? Also, do you think it's worth getting a dog if I'm this old, even though I have a 7 year old brother? (link)
Pets are a responsibly, sometimes a burden and always an expense. You are hopefully going to college in three to four years and you can't take your dog with you. Pets,if cared for properly, are like having a child. They need attention, EVERYDAY. And not just for thirty minutes when you feed them or let them out to poop. And then there's the poop. If you want to be around animals without having to own one. Find a local no kill pet shelter and volunteer. (Volunteering looks good on college applications) See if a veterinarian with let you help out at their office. Go to an assisted living (old people) community and put up posters for dog walking services. Find other ways to get your pet fix without stressing out the family.


I am super stressed out right now at school (I'm in Grade 12) because I have way too much going on! How do I make this easier on myself?

1. I have tons of extracurricular stuff going on. I have missed a whole bunch of days of class, and I will be missing more. This weekend is our school play, and I'm involved with the crew, so every evening this weekend I'm at school and can't get any homework done.

2. I have a part-time job, so I work 9-5 saturdays and some weeknights until 8

3. I have this massive art project that I've hardly started and is due in less than a month.

4. My mother is constantly on my case, nagging me about needing to work on my massive art project.I already know I need to work on it, and I am stressed out enough without her continually telling me that I need to do stuff! Also, anytime I mention how stressed I am, she gets on my case about all the ways I could use my time better.

5. My brain feels like it is going to crash! I am exhausted and I don't feel like I have any brainpower left to do any more schoolwork. But anytime I take a break, even if its a short one, my mom tells me that I need to be working. I can't function without breaks! I can hardly function with them!

Anyways yeah I could go on for pages about the reasons I am stressed, but those are the biggest reason...any help or suggestions would be appreciated! (link)
OK, here's the plan.
First, breathe.
Second, the play is this weekend so look forward to that being off your plate.
Third, ask your boss if you can have a light schedule for the next couple of weeks so you can work on your project.
And D, take breaks that do not include any screen time. Electronic devices are a horrible time suck because the Internet never ends. For breaks get a snack, go for a short walk, eat dinner with the family, play with your pet, hug your mom for worrying about you but tell her you got this.


How to tell if your crush likes you. (link)
1.They find a reason to be around you or talk to you.
2.Ask them.
3.Advice for the future. Don't have a crush on anyone who is married or already in a relationship. You're just asking for trouble with that.


my close guy friend always gives me short but deep shoulder massages just smiling at me...now he doesn't like me like that, it has been established we are just friends, nothing more...well I asked him why does he do that whenever he sees me, he said I dunno and stared at me with seriousness.....

I liked him as more than a friend and asked him out about a year ago, and he just wanted to stay friends and I agreed and now when we are out and about he gets jealous if other men talk to me or give me any type of attention...I reminded him that he wanted to stay friends and he said that's all we are, i said yes this is what you wanted...and all of a sudden he does the shoulder massages etc....I asked him why does he do that and he said nothing but stared at me with seriousness....can anyone help me out? thanks (link)
He knows that if you get a boyfriend you will be spending more time with that guy instead of him. He's trying to keep you for himself without making it official. This is very selfish. He knows you like him as more than a friend and likes the ego boost that it gives him. He becomes friend zoned if you get a man and that means the feeling of you adoring him, that feeds his ego, goes away. Spend more time with other friends. Go on dates.


First off, please don't tell me to get a counselor or a psychiatrist, because they do not help me even in the least bit. All they do is make me angry and I don't know why. It's the more they speak, the more irritated I get. I just hate talking about myself; it's the thing I hate the most to do. Like I'd rather talk continuously good about my worst enemy than ever talk about myself. I've given so many counselors and psychiatrists (been given so many different medications) a chance that I can't even begin to count. I'm so sick of being a guinea pig on all these medications and I'm so sick of constantly repeating my life story to every counselor. Like there's no more counselors that I can go to, to be honest. My father just gave up, he said I'm no longer seeking therapy.

I'm trying so hard to get my life together. I've spent so many painful, lonely years doing absolutely nothing. I've had two jobs in my past, but was fired from both of them due to constant anxiety attacks every day. So I gave up then. I'm 19 years old without even my learner's or a job. I'm so sick and exhausted of sitting on my butt all day feeling pity for myself. I'm sick of wondering if I should just overdose very heavily on my strongest prescription drug. I'm sick of getting angry all the time when my anxiety acts up and everyone's thinking it's anger issues. I honestly don't have anger issues at the least, it just comes from irritation of how painfully my anxiety makes me hurt.

Like I try to build up motivation, because there's SO MUCH I want to do with my life. I want to get my license, be a senior caregiver, volunteer all the time (at soup kitchens, hospitals, nursing homes, walks for cancer, animal shelters), donate all the time (clothes, money, food, blood), but I just don't have the motivation to study for my learner's or study caregiving.

Can someone PLEASE give me advice? I'm desperate here, because I have no idea how much longer I have until I kill myself. (link)
That lady who is the Long Island medium had horrible anxiety attacks and suffered from them terribly until age 29.

From her website "After suffering from debilitating anxiety and trying to manage it on my own and with a therapist for years, my mom introduced me to a spiritual healer and teacher. After just one session, she told me that I was suppressing Spirit’s energy, which caused a lot of my anxiety, and helped me learn to channel Spirit through my chakras and release it with my words."

Perhaps you need to see an energy healer.




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