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he friendzoned me and now he does this
my close guy friend always gives me short but deep shoulder massages just smiling at me...now he doesn't like me like that, it has been established we are just friends, nothing more...well I asked him why does he do that whenever he sees me, he said I dunno and stared at me with seriousness.....
I liked him as more than a friend and asked him out about a year ago, and he just wanted to stay friends and I agreed and now when we are out and about he gets jealous if other men talk to me or give me any type of attention...I reminded him that he wanted to stay friends and he said that's all we are, i said yes this is what you wanted...and all of a sudden he does the shoulder massages etc....I asked him why does he do that and he said nothing but stared at me with seriousness....can anyone help me out? thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
He knows that if you get a boyfriend you will be spending more time with that guy instead of him. He's trying to keep you for himself without making it official. This is very selfish. He knows you like him as more than a friend and likes the ego boost that it gives him. He becomes friend zoned if you get a man and that means the feeling of you adoring him, that feeds his ego, goes away. Spend more time with other friends. Go on dates.
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If he truly is not in love with you, then he should at least be treating you better under the title of friend cus a friend wouldn' t act possessive and jealous of you being around other men.
From what you describe, he sounds like a guy in love with you but very confused about it. There may be other reasons he feels he can't allow himself to have a normal relationship with you and his twisted thoughts are what causes his strange behavior.
You didnt give ages, so you may be teens but even so, people other than his own feelings and convictions inside can be at play. It could be familys social and wealth position and their expectations for him there, or if bigoted, they may have drilled into him to date and marry in the same religion/belief system or race, or whatever other reasons he has been given. Many people cave in to demands of family for fear of losing their family forever or being banned from the family and that kind of mental tactic can and will play a big role in a girl or guy coming across as two faced...doing stuff that clearly shows they have more than a friend interest but then stating they can't date you anymore or that you can only be a friend.
If you believe any of this is going on, you might want to bring up the subject and see what he says. But be careful because this guy isn't showing enough backbone to control his own life and decisions if family is the root cause of problem. He's giving them control over making decisions in his life and even if he did get together with you, interfering parents, whether you're married or not may be butting in to attempt to control you.
Then also regarding his character, trust is important in a relationship, even at friendship level. You may not have been together long enough for trust to have grown yet. It comes with time when both have proven themselves consistant to be kind, loving and supportive in ALL situations. If he is willing to talk and share the truth finally, then great. If not, you'll have to decide how much its worth to you to keep a friend who acts like a 'dick' as has already been mentioned, and gets jealous and possessive, not allowing you to date other guys. You deserve to move on with your life. He's not acting like he's allowing either choice, to be in relationship with him nor to have one with any other guy. And that girl, is prison. You only end up in that prison if you agree to his terms being continueing to keep him as a so called friend if he doesnt change his ways.
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He's a dick. He might like you, but he doesn't like you enough to stop acting like a dick.
Sorry. You may still like him, but if he's acting possessive of you while also claiming he doesn't want to date or do anything else, then he's acting in a shitty way.
You've done the right thing: You've pointed out the problem, but he hasn't stopped. Perhaps, he hasn't acknowledged that what he is doing is shitty. If someone keeps doing something shitty, after you've pointed it out them, then they are dick, and you should stay away from them.
This guy isn't a great friend if he's going to treat you like this. If he is going to both reject you and flirt with you and be jealous and shitty about others in your life. If he can't get his act togeather, and have his behaviour line up with the things he is saying, then it's best to stay away from him.
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