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Does she really like me??


Question Posted Friday May 6 2016, 4:33 pm

So i met this girl through a friend and we've been friends for months, we talk a lot and sometimes we argue about silly things. I told her I liked her and she said she likes me back but we haven't really talked about what we are right now wheather we are bf and gf...But my problem is if I dont text or call her she won't text or call me, but if i do we talk a lot. Also she doesnt reply to my messages immediately even though she has seen the message, i usually text her with facebook messanger(it shows the message as seen when shes read it). Now i am confused i don't know wheather she really likes me back or she said that to make me happy. To me she's perfect, she's all i need in a girl...and oh did i mention she's perfect...for me

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Raychillicious answered Sunday May 15 2016, 7:02 pm:
You should have higher standards of perfect. To me a perfect fit would be considerate. That means responding to your messages in a somewhat timely manner. She also doesn't initiate contact. That's what girls do when they're not that into you but feel uncomfortable telling you. We ladies are socialized to not hurt feelings so we just never call or text and hope that a guy who is puppy dogging will just get the hint.

Arguing about silly things in a relationship that's not even a relationship is also not a measure for perfection. It's a measure of incompatibility. She's probably seeing somebody else and doesn't know how to let you down easy. If she's not calling,you're not on her mind. If you're not on her mind she is thinking about someone else.

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Dragonflymagic answered Saturday May 7 2016, 1:33 pm:
I can not tell you exactly what she's feeling and I don't know your ages but often the younger the couple, the more awkward or embarrassing it is to make the moves to find out how the other feels.

I will post an article I've written that goes over the normal steps to a relationship. Right now you are stuck at the second stage, where you are intrigued enough by the conversation that you want more. And the 'more' in a normal progression would be to date. Its during the investigative process of what we call 'dating' that you will find out more about each other and whether there's enough chemistry to still live her, whether its a love of something(s) about her or whether you are 'in love' with her. In love is different from 'in lust' where theres a big flaming sexual attraction at first meet. I am talking of inlove as something that develops as you learn more and spend more time with your person, where they become so endeared to you that there is no one who could steal you away from her ever, thats being in love and thats the goal. So its a simple process of asking her out, maybe informally first such as "Hey lets set a date on the calendar to hang out together, either we could go for a walk, bike ride, to the beach with a picnic, or hang at each others home and listen to each others favorite music. Do talk about your thoughts, what you wonder, don't guess in your head. Heres the article:

The Normal steps to a Relationship


Attraction: Whether just plain looks or a pheremone attraction. It doesn't mean that either one "Likes" the other yet so it is important to go beyond the staring at stage to conversation.


Conversation: Now you are talking and find that you like the persons sense of humor, how they think, their beliefs or way of living life...this is the teaser...either you decide you want to learn more in depth about the person or you decide you don't have enough interest from the conversation to want to learn any more. Someone not interested stops talking to the other and looks elsewhere. If both want to learn more about the other, you start dating.


Dating: Dating is not all about calendar appointments to go to a movie or out to dinner, or out dancing. It is a time to learn what you like and don't like about the opposite sex. Find out more about the person you have interest in which happens only if you start seeing each other regularly making it a conscious choice. If there are too many dislikes, start over again with someone new. Or take this to the next level. Usually a move to being a steady couple happens automatically without any conscious thought.

Steady relationship: This is meant to be a time where you have plenty of opportunity to spend in each others presence getting to see how they handle themselves 24/7 under all sorts of conditions, their good days, and bad days. Many choose to live together at this time. (for those 18 and older) There isn't much that can be hidden when you live with someone, like their housekeeping habits, what their usual diet is, any mood swings, and by now there should be a good idea of what their normal sexual habits and needs are. You don't want to get matched up with someone who is the opposite libido level of yourself. IF there are no further warning signs and all is wonderful, then the next step is making a conscious decision to commit ones life to the other .

Committed relationship: Here there are vows and oaths made to each other, a professing of mutual love and devotion for each other and it goes beyond words to living it out daily in how one treats their partner. This person will be your life mate with a marriage license or without one.

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