Gender: Male
Location: West haven ct
Member Since: January 12, 2016
Answers: 22
Last Update: June 2, 2017
Visitors: 2054
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My wife and I have a great marriage. She and I have another male/female couple that we have regualr sex with. I currently make love to my male friend about four times a month. My wife and my male lover's wife would like us guys to have sex more often, they mentioned having sex about 15-20 nights per month. Is is a good idea? (link)
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I think a marriage counselor would be a good place to ask any questions you have , a professional is the best thing.
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Please excuse the hostile title of my question, but I am VERY angry right now. I want to warn you in advance that this writing might make me sound like a truly terrible person, but like I said, I'm extremely angry and fed up at the moment with my parents and my situation.
My parents have one of the worst marriages I've personally ever seen in my life. I don't understand why they ever got married in the first place or why they have stayed married for as long as they have. It's against our religion for them to get divorced, but there are many times that I feel like they, and the rest of our family, would be better off if they got separated or something. I don't think that's against their beliefs.
If I had to tell you everything wrong with their marriage, I'd be writing all night. There are numerous ways that my parents marriage sucks, but basically, they're distant, secretive, rude, verbally abusive, and vindictive. They spend entirely too much time apart, they leave each other out of things they do with their friends that they should do together, they keep secrets from each other, they call each other names that I've never called my worst enemy, and they do things just to make each other angry. Their marriage is constantly getting worse instead of better because when one of them gets angry at the other, instead of talking about it like normal people, they just get revenge on each other.
My parents scared me out of ever wanting to get married. I know they don't have a normal marriage and I know it's possible to get married and be extremely happy with your spouse, but even so, I just never could get up the guts to bite the bullet and commit my life to another person PERMANENTLY not knowing for certain what our marriage would look like one day. I am a Christian like my parents and if I did get married, I couldn't run to get divorced as quickly as some people do. I could get separated, but only if I was desperate and my husband and I would still be joined together legally. Also, the fact that I grew up watching my parents dysfunctional marriage and have never really, closely seen what a good marriage looks like kept me from having confidence in myself to know how to be a good wife and make a marriage work.
I always wanted a family, but when I kept chickening out of marriage, I decided just to have kids on my own using both IVF and adoption. I now have a large family that I'm raising by myself and I'm extremely happy with my life choices most of the time. But on occasion, I do feel sad that I don't have a husband and my kids don't have a dad. They have father figures, but not a legit dad in their lives. I feel bad about that, especially for the boys, but what can I do now? Who wants to marry a single mother raised in a dysfunctional family who doesn't even know what a healthy marriage looks like. Even if someone did, there's not a counselor in the world that could assuage my fears about marriage.
The reason I came here is that my parents are constantly putting me in the middle of their arguments and I get SICK OF IT!!! It's not FAIR!!! They get mad at each other for things I have nothing to do with and they make me take sides, help get revenge on each other, and bad mouth each other to other people. It SUCKS!!!
While I deeply love both of my parents, despite their flaws, and have a very close relationship with my Mother, my relationship with my dad hasn't been good since I was twelve. We've been very distant and we both hate that. We try to work on it, but every time we seem to be getting closer, something happens and our relationship goes straight to hell again.
So over the past six or seven months, my parents have been working on remodeling their house. The first thing they did was remodel the bathroom my sister and I used to share. They took out that bathtub that used to be in it and put in a shower in it's place. I use that shower when I can because it's by far the nicest and one of the most spacious showers I've ever used.
Two weeks ago tomorrow, I was using that shower and when I opened one of the two glass sliding doors, said door fell and shattered. It apparently wasn't put on right. Both of my hands were badly cut up. I had a cut in my finger on my right hand that went all the way down to the bone and the glass took two big chunks of skin out of my left hand that required stitches. I had a cut on my foot and one my left arm that was DIRECTLY OVER all of the veins and arteries in that arm that can kill you if you cut them open. The whole thing scared me to death. I was very sore for over a week and although I've been feeling better and healing fast, I temporarily lost some of the feeling in the finger that was cut all the way down to the bone and I fear I might be anemic from the blood loss. That probably sounds a little dramatic, but I lost a lot of blood, more than you'd think, and I was also on my menstrual cycle at the time. I've been having symptoms of anemia since then.
I was afraid my dad was going to be angry about what happened. I was scared he was gonna scold me and make me buy a new door. I was a little scared that he would even ban me from his and my mom's house. Instead, he was nothing but worried and sympathetic towards me. He wanted to look at my hands and arm, he asked me how bad the whole thing scared me, he gave me a couple very big hugs. He couldn't have cared less about the door. It was the closest I'd felt to him in a long time. It was one of the rare moments when my dad shows me how much I mean to him and it meant a lot to me.
We've been tight since then, but tonight, my mom almost screwed the all of that up. You see, on Saturday, I wanted to take my kids to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie and my mom said that she'd like to come. I found out that she told a lie to keep my dad from knowing where we were going out of fear that he'd come along if he knew. My dad has since found out where we went and that we'd left him out of something he'd have probably enjoyed and I feel bad about that. I didn't know my mom was going to lie to him like that. I should've invited him myself, but I didn't realize how much he'd have wanted to come. I didn't think he'd like the movie. Even as an adult, I loved it, but it is still a kids' movie and a musical, so I assumed my dad wouldn't want to come, but apparently he would and now I feel like sh!t.
That incident with the shower door happened two weeks ago and today was the third time that my dad had promised to go to the closest home depot an hour away and get a new shower door. He didn't do so and my mom wanted me to confront him and be a b!tch to him thinking that he'd get it done faster if I did. Thing is, my dad and I have been getting along great lately and after the whole thing with the movie, I was scared that he already wasn't happy with me. If I went and was an @as hole to him about the shower door, then he might explode on me and our whole relationship would go south again. Especially since I was the one who broke the door.
I went to politely ask him about the door, but when he was really sweet to me and we talked for a minute, leading me to realize that he wasn't angry with me, I lost my nerve to say anything that could anger him. My mom kept pushing me though so eventually I mentioned it to him, but it didn't help much. He was perfectly sweet about it, but didn't sound like he had gone to indeed home depot and I failed to light a fire under him like my mom wanted me to. This is not a good example of one of my parents putting me in the middle of an argument, but it's what prompted me to come here.
My mom is furious with me for not standing up to my dad and telling him off about the door like she wanted me to. She brought up the times I have stood up to my dad when it was for myself and accused me of not caring enough to do it for her. I explained to her that the rare times I've had the backbone to stand up to my dad, it was because he provoked me to do so, but he didn't provoke me today. I also explained that even if I had more of a backbone, my dad didn't deserve to be berated for the door today. Yes, he should've gotten it like he promised my mom, but he had a pretty busy day and I don't understand why it's such a big deal anyway. There's another shower and a bathtub in the house. My mom does like to use the new shower, but not often it's not like it's the only place in the house to bathe.
This is what I'm sick of. My choices tonight were to either be a jerk to my dad and ruin how well we've been getting along lately or to not be a jerk to my dad and make my mom mad at me. My parents do this to me all the time. They put me in the middle and make it so I can't possibly get out of the situation without making at least one of the mad at me. My mom acknowledges that she puts me in this position. She says flat out that I have to choose between her being mad or my dad being mad at me. I've tried to tell them that I'm not getting in the middle of anything, but that tends to make BOTH of them mad me.
It's really not fair because I have done nothing to get myself in these situations. I didn't cause my parents to have such a disaster of a marriage, I don't cause their arguments, I don't cause myself to be put in the middle of their arguments. I have no options. It's either p!ss my mom off or p!ss my dad off. Their are no other options.
The only other thing I can think of that I could do is to stop being around my parents, but that is not an option. I love both of my parents very much and could never alienate them from my life.
Super sorry this has been such a long writing, but I just wanted you to know everything you might need to know about the situation. Does anyone have any advice? (link)
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Take some time off .
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well i been heartbroken over this guy named josiah for 4-5 years, we were close and almost dated. he led me on and used me til didnt need me anymore, and is my first love, kiss who lost virginity to etc. we ent from talking alot flirting etc to all sudden it stopped. idk why still, and foundout from someone that is married now. i tried sending a friend request on facebook, playing it off as dont have these feelings still, but denied request but didnt block. want talk to him so badly, as did have a miscarriage of his child and never griefed properly as kept it from my family cause they lecture me about having feelings for him tho thats not something i can help , tried everything i could think of to move on, and now in a relationship with lance, who treats me like queen do care for just not as much as do josiah. he knows had thing for him in past, as told him how he hurted me badly emotionally dont think it was intentional tho cuase he's best guy i ever knew before lance. what should i do? and want make my current relationship work though im just settling for lance since cannot have josiah like we were... (link)
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Your age is very important because if your young you need time to grow , just like he's doing , experience life , and learn from your mistakes
I don't suggest making the first move to get back with him , remember guys want want they can't have , no you can play that out for a long time ,use it to your total advantage , be smart .
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Today my boyfriend hit me, and not just once, and not consecutively...but each blow came from a burst of anger Coming out alongside aggressive words. Right to my head. Now I will say he held back (he is much bigger and if he really wanted to do damage he could have done much more). We have a long history. We dated before. He is the first real romantic partner I had who I was head over heels for. I still am. I'm totally hopelessly in love with a maniac. So the first go around we broke up because we both did not communicate our feelings well and he was also very jealous and possessive and there were problems with substance abuse. He is also or was diagnoses with Being bi polar. I take this seriously, and unfortunately I'm very patient and overly understanding. We spent three years apart...we both are still in love...circumstance reunited us and I have been so happy. I could tell he was making a real effort to change. He does small things to show me he Cares, he really listens when I talk, he has patience now...no more fits of jealousy. We typically avoid alcohol, because it is not good for either of us. Occasionally we have a couple beers...today maybe we had one too many. I didnt do anything to anger him (even if I did I know that's not an okay response).
As you can imagine I am very confused now. He also left me stranded in the dark in a place im not familiar with! In fact another man in his car pulled up and asked me if I wanted to make some money. Sick.
So we have also been going through nicotine withdrawal and that is no joke either ! Once he acted out....it got worse, I think he WAs so shocked and embarrassed that he RAN with it and it escalated from there..
I am feeling pathetic because I do not want it to end and yet I know how bad that was and how this does not sound good...and in most cases these things not only continue but get worse. But I strongly believe we can make things work in a healthy way and that this was due to alcohol and nicotine withdrawal. We have the same views and life goals, and I really love everything...but he hit me in the head and he feels like he is a threat to me. He did research and is now seing the abusive traits in his personality.
If we continue I will remember to tale alcohol more seriously and avoid drinking with him.
Feedback on getting help or moving forward?
He has also always had a temper ...one time I was at his house and he kicked in a table after fighting with his parents, but I've never seen him hit his mom..
:(
We have been traveling together for a month, car camping and backpacking. (link)
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Hitting is unacceptable , time to end that relationship , sounds like he needs professional help it will only get worse , you need to separate till he gets the councling he needs , very dangerous relationship . billy ..
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I have been with my husband for 19 years. I'm 35. We have two kids (5&9). He is a great guy, wonderful father and tries his best to treat me well. The truth is, I have lost all the fire with him for the past 5 years. I don't think we would be together if it wasn't for our kids. We have grown apart. I do not want to be intimate with him at all. He doesn't feel the same way. We are two different people. Here us a twist: a guy who I have always called "the one who got away" has randomly appeared in my life! I'm ignoring the fact that his makes me FEEL SOMETHING again to try to address what to do with my marriage. Um losing sleep, I'm completely ridden with anxiety all the time about what divorce would mean for my kids. (link)
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Don't loose sleep ,did you try a marriage councler ? Honesty always works for me I have been married 20 years , there are things you can do to try to bring the fire back to the relationship . you should tell your husband the truth , he might feel the same , Being truthful is the best policy , any other way will affect the children , and the kids are the most important , and they have a long way to go . there future is what you have to keep in mind when you make any decisions , think long and hard . billy.
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My alcoholic mother neglected my education from age 5 by "unschooling" me (it's code for lazy parents who are too prideful to admit their failure in homeschooling) I'm going to be 18 next year and I've never been so depressed and hopeless.
I tried to motivate myself to catch up academically years ago, but it just made me too upset to even open a text book.
I have no idea what to do. I feel like I have no future. (link)
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I'm very sorry , you need professional help to find out what level to start at , its easy with internet , your local library has every thing you need to start learning , free , if you have a lap top you can learn more , like when library is closed . I would start at the library tomorrow if I was you . that would also make you happier , take small steps and move forward , let me know how you make out at library , try to be positive , and keep people around you that can help , good luck , keep in touch ..tackle one problem at a time ,,
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My life kind of started to end on July 15 2014. My wife of 52 years and I were sitting on our deck when we looked at each other and said, You know something we got it made. That was because I had finally retired and we had moved into our new house in the mountains. That was around one pm when we spoke those words.
That night around seven we got a call from one of our daughters (Barb). She told us that she had just left the doctors and they had told her she had stage four ovarian cancer, and that she had 1 to 5 years to live.
This as you can imagine floored us. The next morning my wife (Elaine) and I packed her suitcase. We decided that my wife would move in with Barb to help her as much as possible. Barb lives three hours away, so we thought I would drive down on weekends and bring our dog with me.
After three months of Elaine staying there and me coming down on weekends, the stress got so bad between my wife and I. You see, Elaine is 71 years old and she was taking care of Barbs whole house. There are four in the family, Barb, her husband (Jeff) daughter (Kristin age 21) and son (Jeffery age 17). She looked like she was 90 years old. This was killing my wife. Well after three months had gone by, Barb went back to work, so Elaine decided to come home and we would go down on weekends. This lasted till 1/10/16 when Barb passed away.
When my wife came home, I was relieved that she could rest and try to get back to somewhat of a normal life. Well that did not happen. From the minute and I mean minute Elaine walked in the door I was accused of having an affair. I could not believe my ears. Her reasoning was she found Cialis in my bureau drawer. After her throwing this at me I showed her that it was a sample with my name written on it. The funny part of it was, Elaine was the one that picked it up at the doctors office. By the way our doctor not only wrote my name on the box but the date 1/16/2012. Four years before we moved to the mountains.
That was the end of that session. But two weeks later she told me my girlfriend stole five pair of her jeans from the closet. I could go on an on about the accusations but to name just a few. Cigarette butts found in the street meant my girlfriend was standing there watching the house. I was told while we where both out shopping together that there was blood on our mattress pad. When we got home the blood had disappeared. Now remember we never left each others side.
I won’t bore you with more details because there is over 50 accusations made. None of which were true.
Anyway last week a new neighbor moved in and you guessed it I was having an affair with her.
Well two days ago she left me, drained our bank accounts of over $125,000. Leaving me not only with my wife of 52 years but without a penny.
I can’t do this anymore. As much as I love her I want it all to end. I can’t stand the pain. I sit here and look at a bottle of pills the doctor gave us for depression and can’t stop thinking this would end my pain. I was a strong willed man all my life, a rough and tumble construction worker. Well I am a broken man now. She broke me and took my will to live.
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First of all don't even think about hurting yourself that's not the answer , you should look at this like a blessing , god has a plan for you ,first I would go to your local church and talk to the priest . they have a lot of experience in this type of situation .there are a lot of support groups to help you threw this ,this would be the time to focus on yourself ,a new beginning for you .I don't want to sound insensitive , but you have to find inner strength to help you threw . you can make this turn out to benefit you , talking to a licensed therapist they will know how to point you in the right direction . remember god has a plan for you have faith .just take one day at a time , and do positive things to help yourself , there is many people with the same and worse situations , but you find strength in yourself by talking with others . get back to me anytime ,billy
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Question Posted Tuesday October 4 2011, 1:28 pm
i do not know how to start this but appology for this long statement. i couldn't analyze these things anymore... let me start it this way, i am married for almost two years now and i love my husband. recently, i work with this lady and i find her very attractive. the thing is i don't know if she's gay or not and sending me mixed signals. i find her going on her way just to be around me or something, used to flirt with me before (i've seen her before i worked with her), stares at me when am not looking, used to stare at me when i was talking (before) and seems to be jealous when i talk to another men (like in a friendly way, not flirty). MOST IMPORTANTLY, i wonder so much why does our coworkers watches us whenever we are around together. they look at us, literally! it seems to me that they are listening to our body language or something. i don't understand... i really don't. since i started working with her i don't remember doing any flirtatious act on her. i never have. the only thing that happened was before i worked with her. like i say 2-3 times. well anyways, all of these happened before until last night... she worked with me directly and asked me bunches of personal questions like how is my husband, where did we met, etc and etc... do i have plans going back home to my country. i said yes i do. but am looking for someone to fly with me so i won't be by myself. she said she would go, she'd love to. then later when i asked her to go out with me and my friends because my other friend is bringing another person ( i don't wanna be out of place) she said yes if i wanted her to go (said yeah i do) and asked if we go to a bar and i said nope we don't do that. we just go out shopping. she said that's cool. i just thought you want me to WORK FOR YOU (what in the world does that mean???). that really got me. i laughed it out though. i asked her number and she gave it to me. later i asked her if she wanna go out watch movie, she said it's up to us. i can see she seemed to be starting in doubt, so when i got off from work i told her she don't have to go if she don't want to and that if something would come up. i even said i really like her and she said oh really? (she said it in a deep low voice) but i didn't told her that in a romantic way. she said she'll let us know and that she's saving her money because she's going to college soon. well anyways the fact is nobody knows am bisexual but i can see that she can sense that (that am bi). well, an hour after i texted her and she seems to be not interested or something...? i asked her questions and she answers it but she's not reciprocating my point on texting her and asking her out. i just wanna know her and be friends. she's very nice in every way. gracious i must say. am attracted to her, i admit that. however, i know where i stand on my ground and i cannot act on it. did she found everything weird? is she losing interest on me or did she even have an interest with me at all?
i honestly don't know what is going on so please please please i need everybody's help here analyzing these situation. am not even understanding my own self. i wanna know what is going on with her and what does she want from me.i (link)
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That's a lot , first how old are you both , what state are you in , I would keep it friendly , how long have you known each other , there's nothing wrong with being friends , there are a lot of questions to be answered , before you go further , don't rush into anything , keep it friendly , get back to me , there's a lot more involved to take it any further , take time , and think about what you want out of life , and your happiness is most important , hope I helped a little , get back to me , Billy
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Will anyone be my boyfriend? (link)
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Be patient, the right person will come along and you will know it ,how old are you ? Billy
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I was fired from my work for no reason. I know I never did anything wrong or got into trouble. My former boss was being weird when I asked for the reason, and they won't tell me why. Now I am applying for another job, and on the application, they ask if you've ever been fired, if yes, why, and I honestly have no idea why I was fired, so I don't know what to say. Any ideas? Just writing on the application fired for no reason just seems weird and fishy, so I don't wanna write that. I'm really lost here. I'd really appreciate any advice. I'm scared I won't be accepted, even though I am qualified for the job just because I was fired and don't know why... (link)
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If you were fired for no reason you should apply for unemployment then he will have to tell the reason why or you can collect , don't lie on app that can get in your way , ask him what he will say about giving you a good reference. How old are you and what is the job your applying for .you need some questions answered, keep in touch . billy
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Right 3 days ago at my last day at work I was asked for my cellphone number and we had been (from what I can take from it) flirting. I said yes and wrote it down for him. But he has not texted? Is he not interested? Or am I overreacting? By the way I am 16 and a girl, the only reason I could think he wouldn't contact me is because of my age ( he is older but not by too much). What do you think? (link)
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I think he will text you when he is ready, could be a lot of reasons he is waiting , if he is more than 5 years older that could be an obstacle , u could always text him and ask him ? Billy
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how do I know if he wants to be friends or something more (link)
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The best policy is honesty, ask him, this is a good way to start a relationship. Billy
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I live with three random roommates. They are nice girls and we get along well, but at least one of them has been consistently getting their period all over the bathroom, and not just on the toilet but on the floor, bathmat, etc. It is hard to say for sure who is responsible for the issue because we kind of get our periods around the same time. I just know that it isn't me, because I meticulously check the toilet area after changing my tampon/pad.
This started happening within the first month of us moving in. I waited a while and then said something to the effect of; "Hey guys, there's been period blood on the toilet seat for a few days now. I'm very squeamish about blood and would prefer not to touch it because it isn't mine." I ended up cleaning it myself, however, because I was sick of not being able to use my own toilet.
I know it's not *that* big of a deal to just wipe down the seat, but it's just really unpleasant. Currently there is blood down the sides of the toilet, on several splotches of it on the floor, etc. It's not really noticeable so it's plausible that the person who made the mess didn't notice, but *I* did and I'm not on the lookout for it.
What should I do? I don't want to be the one roommate who makes a big deal out of everything. (link)
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You need to have a one to one conversation with the person, if you do it in private there should be no problem, its the mature thing to do and the right thing to do , more respect should come out of it, after all we all have to grow up sooner or later. PS good luck you should never hide your feelings, that a bad habit to get into, you should speak your mind you will get further in life..billy
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my penis is swollen after sex before 2 days nd its hurt while my pants or underwear rubs it..the swollen is beneath my penis head.what should i do? (link)
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You should see a doctor right away , it could be an easy fix , only a doctor can help, don't speculate leave it to a professional. Billy
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I've been unable to handle the pressures of high school this year. I'm a senior, and a very slow one, if you know what I mean. I'm failing some major classes due to a strong lack of interest and my finals are during this week. In my chemistry class I've learned almost nothing. I don't remember any of what I really did learn, and it's not just because of my lack of interest. I've recently noticed that reading has become increasingly difficult for me to do on my own. I cannot stay on task and I end up skipping sentences or misread things. Even when I ask for help I still can't understand what's going on. I'm also having issues in dealing with my peers. They proudly lack interest in anything that doesn't involve quite a bit of inappropriate topics. It agitates me. The classes that I enjoy, from what I've been told, have to be put aside for the requirements to be fulfilled in order for me to graduate. Unfortunately, I don't feel the same way. It's come to the point where I'm so stressed that I feel ill. I've begun to consider dropping out and hopefully pursuing an education in what I want and not what the school claims that I need. My mom told me that if I do drop out that my chances of getting into college are still possible but I'd need to make up the credits that I didn't get. She also advised me to figure out the pros and cons of this decision. As much as I'd like to graduate with my friends and get a scholarship, it doesn't seem possible where I'm at now. What would be the best thing to do? (link)
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I have a son in a similar situation, I told him all along what was gonna happen, but he didn't really listen, now I'm telling him to get as many credits as possible , if it takes him another summer to get the credits he needs for a diploma so be it , maybe he wasn't ready for all the pressure there is when growing up, some people take longer than others,no matter what if you hang in , and keep trying hard it will all work out in the end .coming back next year to get two or three more credits is not such a bad thing you will be better prepared for the future, I'm sure you will have a great future , long as your patent or loved one shears you in the right direction. PS its a long race. So pace yourself its important that you finish. Billy
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I live in a small shitty 2 bedroom apartment, It's condition and furniture is really bad, I really hate living in it. I never invited my friends over, I have been friends with them for 5 years and never invited them once. It's really bad I can't invite anyone, also when they visit my neighborhood I just meet them in the streets and they keep hinting how they want to come over. I keep making up excuses. My parents are divorced and my father doesn't pay anything. my mother is struggling on her own, I am so sick of getting scared if they ever decide to just knock on my door. I hate this life what should I do? (link)
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Clean the kitchen, that would be easyest, invite people in for coffee or soda , if the company is nice and worthy of your friendship , the way your house looks won't matter. Don't worry there is always someone with a home that needs more work than yours, god bless you , billy
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One of my New Year's Resolutions this year is to speak up more. I have a tendency to just sit quietly and listen to everything going on around me, even if I have something I would like to say.
I do this whether I'm hanging out with my friends, in class, or in small group at Youth Group. I know that in class I'm a little scared to speak up, I am afraid of being judged, its kind of a social anxiety thing, but with my friends and at Youth Group I feel totally safe talking, I just don't say anything.
I want to come up with some ways to prompt myself or give myself courage to just say what I want to say, or to raise my hand in class. I talked to my Youth Group leader about it, and he said that he will make a point of asking me questions in small group, just to help me out a little bit, so that's good. However, I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions to help me out with this. Any little things I can do to help myself? (link)
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If they are truley your friends they will love to hear what ever it is you have to say .if not they don't deserve to be in your company. Just talk I'm confident you will say something everyone will want to hear .billy
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Hello. I'm an 18 year old female, who is very frustrated and confused, and mostly just lonely.
I want to finally be over my ex completely. It has been about a year since we stopped being friends with benefits, after about 5 or 6 months of us breaking up. We were only together for 2 months.
Let that sink in for a bit.
We broke up because he realized he was losing feelings for me anymore. He tried to develop them back but it didn't work. He started being resentful toward me, forcing himself to like me. He started to be very mean. Then he felt bad because he didn't want to keep hurting me to he broke up with me. A few weeks later I ask him to be FWB. He says no. Then he goes out with a girl he probably really feel in love with. She breaks up with him. I take advantage and ask him again to have sex with me, he says yes this time, I'm very excited. We do some things, but it was unclear to me what we were doing. I still had feelings, and when I asked what we were doing he said "we're talking", so I thought he was trying to say he was planning on us getting back together so i was like, cool. and then i got scared he would just do the same thing to me, because i knew he might, so I cried to him over the phone and said something that he really didnt like so now he wants nothing to do with me at all because all i do is make him feel like a horrible person (because im right about him)
The part of me that wanted him in my life mostly wanted a relationship before. But now I just want to have sex with him. I don't want to be friends, I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to have him exist in my world at all except to come pleasure me when I ask him to. For so many reasons, but really I just want really high quality meaningful sex. I also know now that in order to get over him, I have to fall deeply, hopefully much much deeper (if that is even possible -.-) in love with someone else or at least meet an awesome guy that actually likes me back, & soon, because I'm afraid I'll lose my patience & give my virginity away to a random guy. Which is what I think I want. But that is just because I am frustrated & I have wasted two precious high school years of my life loving a boy that just doesn't like me. I really don't want that for myself. Not for one second longer. But the harder I try to forget about how sexually compatible I am with him and start developing feelings for someone worthy of me, I'm just making it take longer!
The part of me that knows better knows that I want to lose my virginity to my future husband. I really do. At least that is the ideal, but I'd just as well be perfectly happy with losing it to the next guy I fall in love with. How do I know this?
I tried just having sex with this guy I was talking to for a while both before & after I was friends with benefits with my ex. I cut him off this week, both because I knew I wasn't gonna give it to him and because he was talking to a girl that he didn't even tell me about, he let me find out from her. Now this guy, I don't even like or respect this guy as a person. He is a liar and a player & just generally has no idea what he is doing when it comes to relationships.
(I took Girl Code a little too seriously -- they say to never be friends with benefits with an ex, (i totally ignored that part) & instead to do it with someone you would never go out with, have no feelings for, no possibility of ever developing them, although you are physically attracted to the person)
I don't even respect this guy. He doesn't believe in love, he let his first girlfriend hurt him so badly that he is closing himself off to the idea of love, therefore he doesn't want to fall in love. This really gets to me. I don't respect him because that mindset makes him a coward in my eyes. You need to be bold enough to try again and again and again until you find your soulmate because i imagine once you find them, its the best thing in the world. Love is everything. I want to see him happy, just because that is the type of person I am. I am very emotional. I like to see happy people.
Basically what I am trying to say is that I can't be friends with benefits, with anyone really. I need to be in love in a relationship with a boy before i can enjoy sex. But I really want to stop wanting to have sex with my ex. So should I just find a better guy to have sex with? Is that even what I should do? I know I'm ready to have sex but I want it to mean something, with a boy that is at least worth my time.
Thank you for taking your time to read this and try to help me today. I truly appreciate it :)
PS: If you're confused about anything at all, please feel free to ask me to clear it up for you. I'll add info for you
PPS: have a great day, because they all are. (link)
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Take a deep breath, your only 18 , it will be well worth the wait when you find the one worthy of your love and affection . you are very special and deserve someone who will treat you like a princess. Billy
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I play a Baritone bass clef in my school band, and I'm horrible at it. I do try to practice it, but I can't practice unless I have somebody else playing the same rhythm as me. I know I just need to practice, but I'm kind of in a pickle here. I have to play a solo in less than a month, and I can't play it, and I can't back out of it now. I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do! Asking my band teacher for help is out of the question cause if he knew that I still can't play it, then he'll be fearious! I don't really have any friends that can practice with me either, please help! (link)
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I would go to the teacher asap he is the only one that can help you, that's his job.billy
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I'm a girl, and it's my best friend's birthday this week, and i need to get her a gift. She's turning 18, and we've been friends since we were little, but I can never come up with anything. Here's some information to help with gift ideas:
She loves reading. She reads lots of books, but I don't want to buy her a book because she only reads them once, and I'm not sure if I would pick one she would enjoy.
She likes to bake, but doesn't need any more cookbooks, or any baking tools/materials.
She enjoys art, but already has paintbrushes, paint, good pencils, and a sketchbook. She also knits and crochets, but she doesn't really need much for that either I don't think.
I can't buy her clothes because I don't know what size she wears or what style of shirt looks good on her.
She does not want any kind of food, seeing as it was just Christmas and she got a lot of chocolate then.
Any suggestions? I am looking to spend about $20, and I don't want to get her something boring like a gift card or movie tickets....It's just so hard to come up with interesting ideas.... (link)
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I always find that cash in a nice card always brings a smile .billy
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