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I can't invite friends over because I'm ashamed of my house
I live in a small shitty 2 bedroom apartment, It's condition and furniture is really bad, I really hate living in it. I never invited my friends over, I have been friends with them for 5 years and never invited them once. It's really bad I can't invite anyone, also when they visit my neighborhood I just meet them in the streets and they keep hinting how they want to come over. I keep making up excuses. My parents are divorced and my father doesn't pay anything. my mother is struggling on her own, I am so sick of getting scared if they ever decide to just knock on my door. I hate this life what should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Clean the kitchen, that would be easyest, invite people in for coffee or soda , if the company is nice and worthy of your friendship , the way your house looks won't matter. Don't worry there is always someone with a home that needs more work than yours, god bless you , billy
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Let’s start with your father not paying any child support. By law a man is responsible for any children he fathers until the reach the legal age of 18. There is not a Judge in this country, USA, which would allow a divorce without child support written into the agreement. If the support is not paid the man can have his wages and any tax return attached and can even be jailed for failure to pay support.
When a fathers child support is determined it is meant to support his children's welfare in that they have a proper home, food on the table and their medical insurance is kept in place. He may also be required to take out a life insurance policy to cover the full amount of the support should he die before the last child reaches 18.
All you say is, "my father doesn't pay anything." This does not tell me if he has been ordered to pay anything and is just refusing to do so. If he has been ordered to pay support you don't say why your mother has not used the resources available through the courts to force him to pay support.
What can you do to change this? You can go to your school principal, if you’re still in grade school and under 18, and tell the principal about you home life. If the principal believes you home life is detrimental to your wellbeing, by law he or she must contact the appropriate agencies to assist you. Those agencies while assisting you will track down your father get him to start paying the ordered support and collect the support owed.
IF you are over the age of 18 and there are any siblings under the age of 18 at home then you can go to the office of child protection yourself and ask for assistance for them. They will investigate and if they deem assistance in required they will arrange for it while tracking down your father to collect back support and get him to start paying what he has been ordered to do so. Should somehow there be no order of support, which I doubt child protective service will go to court to get one.
Just one thing before you start down this road. I know you believe you live in "a shitty little apartment" and I believe you believe this. As long as it is clean, there are good healthy meals on the table, you have clean serviceable cloths, mom sees that you go to school and you are healthy. You will be opening up a can of worms unnecessarily for the only real problem is the child support which is your mothers’ problem to handle.
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Ok, this can be really simple IF YOU WANT it to be.
ASK your mom if "WE" can clean up the house.
By this i mean gathering up all the shit in the house you dont need and or never use and either toss it in the trash or put it in someones car if you dont have one and then go donate it to the nearest goodwill or thrift store. All you have to do is walk in and say you have stuff to donate, they dont turn people away at all or inspect what youve brought, they let you just drop it off and then they sort through it later.
Next, When it comes to furniture, throw out anything shitty or half broken and then like i said go to the thrift stores that sell used furniture! I have a huge ass sectional in my living room that i bought for 70 bucks! and although it doesnt exactly look new, its in decent condition, not filthy, and friends can sleep on when their visiting!
Listen, the thing to remember here is that everyone DOESNT have the perfect house ok. I come from a poor welfare family and trust me i know what its like to have a shitty ass house, i lived in a condemned house at one point that had no heat. so i get it. We used a giant cable spool as a dining room table, old computer desk chairs for it, and whatever else we could find outside as furniture for a while. and this was me, my brother, and mom living in a one bedroom duplex where i shared a bed with my mom until i was 14 years old ok. lol.
Now im grown, married to a good man that makes good money but i have never forgotten what i come from and i know the struggles.
Just start slowly getting rid of shit you guys dont use and start always being on the look out for nicer things you can get for cheaper. Go and just walk into thrift stores in your free time, maybe with your mom maybe on your own, and just look around. You might be really surprised by what you can find. Check them regularly for new items coming in and go with friends if their down for that if you have nothing to do.
Ive walked into thrift stores with friends just to look around and make fun of some of the silly and old things they have in there and it was actually alot of fun. This will get them into the spirit and THEY might actually find things they like TOO.
Make it more of a priority to slowly start cleaning, start by getting rid of all the obvious trash, and then move on to sorting and throwing out anything thats broken, rotten, taking up needed space etc.
talk to your mom about this and ask her if theres anything you can do to help. Just her child asking if they can help make things a little better can be a huge stress reliever for her alone. Offer to go with her to some thrift stores or flea markets in your area to see what kind of deals they have on shit.
good luck i hope that helped a little..
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