Member Since: January 9, 2016
Answers: 2
Last Update: January 9, 2016
Visitors: 527
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14/f
I'm usuallyA good kidI do my homework I aced my test and I do what I'm told. I've been recently hating who I am though. I hate how I'm a good kid and how I sometimes do crazy things with my best friend. I hate how i feel fat and annoying. I tried not eating, and when I barely lasted 6 hours I just started exceeding more. I feel like some poeple think I'm weird or a try hard or a teachers pet. I hate how the boy I like sees me only as a friend - and it's not the dating I'm after, it's the fact that someone likes me. Ive been obsessing over how so and so wouldn't have done the stupid thing I just did or so and so would've said a funny remark instead of nodding their head. And I keep hearing how you should be someone you admire. I admire brave, gutsy, smart, and funny people like the ones I read in all my favorite books( throne of glass, mortal instruments, divergent) so I decided I would do something they would do.
Yesterday my history teacher did an activity to make it feel like we were in the time period we were learning about-1800 factory workers and industrial revolution. We had a substitute that day and when we walked in she started yelling at us to color the picture in front of us fast and neat. Within 5 min we figured out that our history teacher was trying to make it like how it was back then in the factories . Thinking that we were supposed to rebel bc of the protesting part of it and the fact that the switch class told us to not do what the substitute told us to do, I told the substitute that I didn't think it was right. She told me to go to the office then. By that time I was scared, I mean didn't the other class say we were supposed to do this? Anyways I came back from the office and was about to explain how I thought we were supposed to protest like the workers did, the substitute got the other teachers involved. So my other teacher walked in started saying how he was so disappointed we couldn't just appreciate the activity and do what we were told. Then the entire class explained to the substitute that we weren't trying to be disrespectful, we just did what the other class told us to do that was in her class previously. By then , I realized what I got myself in to . I apologized over and over again and tried to explain but this woman was like "well you have into peer pressure " ok so that was yesterday. Today I came in and my real history teacher was angry. And sad. My friend Bianca told be that in the morning she saw her tearing up bc she was so sad she put so much work into that lesson and that my class ruined it. She also heard the substitute(who's involved in the play I'm in) say that I was "trying to act like in the play" or something. The other teachers also were saying that they couldn't believe that a student did something so disrespectful. Then when we came into class I apologized and she said "go sit down" so I didn't get to explain. Then she told us that because of our actions we had to write a 6 paragraph essay that was due by the end of school about some guy who invented the cotton gin. At lunch I came in and sort of explained it but she still said I'm so disappointed and all this other stuff. The entire class hates me now, even though they're telling me it's not my fault I see they hate me for it. And my favorite history teacher now hates me too.
The whole thing stemmed from me trying to be someone other people would like and admire and even then I messed up. My dad is also going through cancer rn so I feel randomly depressed at school bc of it and I want to cry but then ik people will think I'm overreacting.
I always do my hair(somewhat) and put together outfits in hope it will solve my problems. It doesn't. Having good hair doesn't change what's going on no matter how much I wish it does. I'm now dreading to go to achool. I stopped answering questions in her class and participating. Now I'm comparing myself to other girls in my class who would've never done that and aren't stupid like me.
Please don't give me the typical mom advice. I need something that I can actually do that might stop the guilt in my chest from exploding and the way that I avoid talking to some people bc Im starting think they hate me for what I did. (link)
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I am a firm believer in Erickson life stages. You are probably in the identity vs role confusion. You seem confused. What you going through is normal for many people. Don't bit yourself to hard over school issues. Peer pressure is a big pressure nad can be harmful for you. Try to put your priorities first. In this case your dad and school work. Prioritize what really matters for you. Everything else will follow. Good boys are gonna follow good focused girls. There is a time for everything. You are not alone..
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Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for over 4 months now (we'll be 5 months in a week or so and our relationship is getting pretty serious) . Anyways, so my boyfriend is mixed...his mom is white, his dad is black. His parents are married, he lives in a house, his family is Christian, etc. My mom has already met his parents and they seem to get along great as well as my mom doesn't have a problem with my boyfriend! My brother likes my boyfriend too, but my dad doesn't and it's all because my boyfriend is biracial and he isn't white . My boyfriend has never really been over at my house to hang with me , only for my birthday party (when we were still friends) and my dad walked in on us cuddling . This stresses me out very much, just what can I do to get my dad to actually get to know my boyfriend and to get over the fact that he's mixed? (link)
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How old are you?
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