Melody_sss's advice column

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Q: hi guys im sorry if this is long but i dont no what to do anymore
this might sound like a high school fling thing but i went out with this guy for almost a year and then we broke up and now hes moved on so quickly and has another gf and i havent moved on at all i still like him but we both agreed to be friends but i cant stand talking to him because it hurts so much he doesnt understand that everytime i talk to him i think of what we had so should i not talk to him and let it go because i tried that and he says that if i dont want to talk to him now i should forget about him altogether or should i just try and be friends and get over my hurt that way? we both loved each other so much and i pushed him away and he got scared and left i try thinking of how bad he treated me sometimes but all i think of is all the really fun things we did together i dont know what to do maybe i just want someone there for me? i dont no please help

I can understand how your hurting. And its very hard to change the way your feeling. You just need to be strong. Just think about how easily it took him to move on! Obviously, you care for him more than he cares for you. You just need to be stronger and be more confident and positive with yourself. Its normal for you to miss him, and feel for him still. But you need to ask yourself were you 100& happy? Im sure you are a pretty lovely girl, and i bet you feel a bit rejected by him as well. The only advice i can give you is to BE STRONG and move on. Is he worth your pain?

Q: i am goin to be in a new school this year and i wanna get along w/ everyone and have lotsa friends. but there are alot a bullies in school and i don't wanna pick a fight ever.is there any way i cud get along w/ anybody--even bullies??? i wud appreciate help...tnx

Just be yourself. The only way you will "pick a fight" is if your looking for it. Try to stay out of anyones problems/fights, and you will be fine. Dont get involved in things that arent you business and you will earn respect and trust off other people. Always be a good friend. You wont get picked on if you havent done anything to deserve it. You will be fine.

Q: Hey, right about now I have no clue what to do with my life. I am 16 and just had a baby last August. The man I thought was his father turned out not to be, it turned out that the guy that raped me is my sons father. After this all came out and I have the results on paper that the man I love is not the father and the one I despise is his father I do not know what to do with my life anymore. My sons father hasn't talked to me since we found out he was the father and I just don't know what to do. I also am trying to get things together with my ex, who was the one I thought was the father but I just don't know what to do. We were together for 2 and a half years, so I mean I am still in love with him. HELP ME SOMEBODY!!

Your ex should be there for you and understand how hard it would be to hear news like that. You need to tell him how much you need him right now as this is a very hard time. If he loves you enough and feels you are the one, he will lend a hand and help you out.
If not you need to build a life for yourself and your baby. Dont take anything out on your baby, You decided to have the baby, so thats what you need to concentrate on now.You must do the best for your baby. You have a very long life ahead of you, and im sure you will find someone who will treat you right. But you need to start thinking about building a life with your baby now.

Q: how do you make doing hoemwork FUN!?

Put some cool music on, lay out your space, be creative and use cool pens and paper, this should make it a bit more fun.

Q: somehow I always end up having really short relationships. Half the time its because of me I end up breaking up with them. And when I mean short I mean days/week or two. I dont kno whats wrong with me. I want a lasting relationship. Maybe my standerds are to high. It just seems to me that I need a guy that will be there for me because im so clincaly depressed I cant have them not call for days or not see them for a long time its just to hard on me.

I just broke up with my bf and now i feel bad because what if he was suposed to be mysoul mate? but I couldnt stay with him because I questiond him and I questiond being with someone
else...

Whats wrong with me? what should I do?

I really want someone to be there for me. A guy I want a bf that will last.

Seems like you may have some issues that you need to explore. Your self esteem makes you very insecure about yourself and relationships. You seem like your very scared about being hurt. You wont be able to trust anyone until you feel good and comfortable within yourself. You need to look after yourself and find ways to have a positive attitude everyday. I would need you to explain a bit more about how you are feeling to give you more advice, otherwise i think you need to let out all your problems and start a fresh new life and be motivated. Message me if you would like to continue furthur..

Q: Agh! One of my BFF's copies everything from other people! She's so unoriginal with her AIM profile, taste in music, style, way she acts && everything! So annoying! What should I do? Say something.. or just ignore it? Its so annoying tho! I will rate Ok thank yu!

Your are not a good friend,Im sorry that the truth hurt you enough for to say it sucked..

Q: i was in a huge fight with one of my guy friends and we just started talking again and now were good but i used to like him ALOT and i had a dream once a while ago when we were really good friends that i had sex with him. and the day after we started talking after our argument i had another dream that we were going out and we were a couple. im so confused i was sooo mad at him and i still am pretty upset at him were not friends again yet and he called me some pretty horrible things but i think i still have feelings for him even though im mad at him and im so confused, do i like him again?

Well i suppose you have to ask yourself that question. I think you need to sort out your fight with him first, because if you keep fighting with him, your going to hurt more, and feel upset. Why are you fighting with him? Do u think he may like u also? Make up with him and try to make the friendship work. If you cant make the friendship work thats not good grounds for a relationship.

Q: how do you know when it's time to end a relationship? how do you know if its just a rocky time in the relationship or if its falling apart?

Best thing to do is ask your partner how they are feeling, you need to communicate together to work out where the relationship is going. Ask your partner how they feel in the relationship, and express how you are feeling also. Communication is so important in a relationship..

Q: My 1st cousin or basically like my sister.. well her boyfriend gave her a condom.. and her mom found it and now she thinks she had sex and she didn't she wasn't even planning on it.. she told her mom that the condom was our papaws(he's a player/my granny died long back) and me and her was just blowing them up I don't think her mom believed her cause she said why would you have a man/a condom for? I don't know what I should do for her.. How could I help..?.. to make matters worst my cousin was sleeping and her mom slapped her when she was a sleep and she goes F**k!! Please and thank you in advance!

Well, its really something between your cousin and her mum to sort out. You could maybe tell your parents about whats going on and tell your parents the story so they can talk to your aunty about it. Your cousin doesnt deserve that kind of abuse. You could even tell your cousin to have a good talk with her mum and let everything out. Hopefully her mum will believe her and understand.

Q: i cant stand my mom no more she has to no everything. she is ruining my life.i hate her so much. it has got so bad to were i live wit my gram. so how do i get her out of my life?

Your mum just cares about you,i was in your position at one stage, and i really resented my mum for not letting me do anything, but she really only cares, and wants to now what your up too, and if your happy. I tell my mum everything now, atleast she know what i do, what im up to and who im with, she never nags me anymore. She just wants to make sure your alright. When you get a bit older, you will understand.

Q: i always find myself wanting to lose some weight, but never actually taking the steps to do it, what are some ways to lose weight in your arms, stomach & theighs?

Go to your local gym, they will have a program there where they assess your health and body type and tell you the right excersises to do to suit your body. Mostly cardio will do the trick.

Q: A little background information. My mother is on the pill(not for birthcontrol tho, other reasons), antidrpessent, leukemia medcine & alot of others.
Lately she yells literally EVERY day. Usually before i'm out of bed, shes yelling. I serioulsy can't take it. She FLIPS out over the smallest things. Like right now shes cleaning & she misplaced the MR. Clean & she was flipping out. IT only adds stress & tension to the house. I seriously can't take it. I've had a headache for over 3 months now. I beleive she is one of the main problems. I'm asking, what should i do to make her calmer & less stressful to others. & i CAN'T confront her.

ps another big problem is $12,000 in debt.

Theres alot more i would need to know to give you an accurate answer. Your mum obviously sounds unsettled and stressed out. Are you helping her around the house? Are you motivated? Sounds likes she needs someone to help her out. Are you the only sibling? Is your father around? You can definetly confront her, she is your mother, ask her whats wrong and what you can do to help her. If she yells persisst her to tell you what she wants that will calm her down. As for you debt, are you employed at the moment? if you are set aside $50 - $100 a week and slowly pay it off, it will take time but it will be done in time.

Q: I want to get my nose pierced during the summer (nothing too big, just a small piercing on the side) but I want to make sure I'll be able to take it out at school.

How long do you have to wait after getting something pierced before you can take it out?

It can take up to six weeks for it to heal and then you can take it in and out at any time. Nose is a senstive part of the body and can close up very quickly maybe you can pierce it with a clear stud at the start, and then once you can take it in and out, buy another stud with a real diamond for the times you are out of school..

Q: My boyfriend is naturally really skinny and with that he's worked for a nice body. As to that I feel somewhat intimidated. ok alot. I want to get a flat tummy I'm not ask for no 6 pack or anything just a nice firm tight stomach.

Can andybody give me a list and how much of what I should and the names of the excercises. Like a shedule.

Rate a 5

Go to your local gym and they can write you up a program. They will tell you exactly what excersises to do to suit your body and show you how to achieve it. Be motivated and you can do it.