To those who encouraged me to offer my wisdom, courage and understanding, my name is Marilyn. I'm a divorced mother of a set of 11 year old twins (boy/girl), and 4 year daughter, a chocolate cocker spaniel named Doggie, and Im a Social Worker for abused & run-a-way teens. I have been working with teens for 13 years, I am highly knowledgeable and great at listening and give advice to those who seek answer from someont that has been to where you are and knows where your going. At anytime that you need to talk or just shoot the breeze with, write me. I will be here for you.
Littlemiss
Gender: Female
Location: Georgia
Occupation: Social Worker
Age: 30
Member Since: July 30, 2005
Answers: 12
Last Update: August 6, 2005
Visitors: 2582
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Who sings the 80s song "Video Killed the Radio Star?"
Thanks :) (link)
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Hey sweetie the Buggles, sing this song. I hosted at Hard Rock Cafe a few years ago, Part-time, and they played this song like everyother hour of the day, cool song, and cool video. You got great taste.
Littlemiss
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I'm 17 and female, and I've known my best friend Thomas for nearly a year. We hang out all the time, even stay the night at one another's houses every now and then.
Well, right now I'm house-sitting for him while he's on a trip. I stayed the night here the other night so I wouldn't have to have my mom drive me over at 7:00 in the morning. So we're up at three in the morning talking about everything, like we always do when we sleep over. And then he kissed me... and told me that he loves me.
I have a boyfriend who I love very much, and I just don't care about Thomas in the way that he cares about me. But I somewhat returned the kiss. As a matter of fact... we kind of kissed a lot. Mostly the sweet, peck type, but a little (and I do mean a little) tongue every now and then. When it was all over and we both regained our senses, I cried. When he said he loved me, I said, "Don't say that." We talked about it a little, but then decided that we'll really have a long talk when he gets back from his vacation.
So I have a few questions. First of all, did I cheat on my boyfriend? I've never done anything like this... I don't know if it's cheating. I don't ever want to tell my boyfriend that it happened -- he'll break up with me and it was all just a huge mistake and I regret that it happened (even though it brought a lot of stuff to the surface -- I didn't even know Thomas liked me). When I talk to Thomas, what should I say? I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I don't want to ruin our awesome friendship. But I want him to know that I don't care about him the way he does about me, and I don't want him to hate me for this. Please help me. (link)
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To answer your first question about cheating on your boyfriend, in my opinion, I would say yes you did. I know this may not be something you really want to hear, but you did. Now I am sure your probably feeling like this is not a good idea to tell your boyfriend, and this I mus t agree with you. You and your boyfriend have a special kind of love, very different from you and Thomas. Don't jeapordize that. Let me tell you something about this little subject of confessing to your boyfriend. They say it's good for the soul and things will be greater later, but thats, BULLSHIT. This boyfriend of yours if he's a real man will leave you and not forgive you because you broke the trust between the two of you. And you know if the shoe was on the other foot, you would leave him in a NewYork minute. Being 17 your maturing into a woman, and this is the kind of stuff, us as woman have to deal with wheter, were dating, wngaged, or married. Ok, to what you really want to get advice on is talking this incident over with Thomas when he comes home. I think that that is a great ideal. Thomas has developed feels for you in ways you probably couldn't image. Thats' what happen to boy-girl relationship that is a close friendship. When you kissed him with little to no tongue.....did you feel anything? If you did, you need to make a choice either pursue this new direction in the friendships with Thomas, or tell him firmly that you need time alone. Alone meaning, no physical contact, no phone conversations(including text messages). Now on the flip side of that, if you did feel something for Thomas and you decide to pursue this new direction of your friendships, then you are obligated to tell your boyfriend that you are going through a crisis in life right now and you need time alone. You don't have to tell him about this kiss with Thomas, but you can get away with telling him that it's not him, it's you and it's bad timing right now for him in your life and you need time to yourself to get yourself together. If he questions you about how much time you need, tell him, there is no set time, if he loves you, then he'll be patient. If you decide to enlighten Thomas that you do not have the same feelings for him like he does you, then be the friend I know you are and try not to be too brutal with it, remember that Thomas has feelings too. If this is the tactic you decide to take, be firm and attentive to respond to anything he may have to say. You said you don't want to ruin your awesome friendship....Then don't.
Good luck to you and your decisions.
Littlemiss
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my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and we're both religious and waiting for marriage before we have sex. recently we've been really open and getting comfortable with eachother. we've been talking about sex a lot on the phone, not us doing it, just positions and what feels good. last weekend I jerked him off, and afterwards I got really upset. then yesterday we had dry sex. it was just like the real thing just with our pants on. After every time we do that stuff we promise eachother we won't do that again, but everytime we're in a bedroom it happens. Please help I'm so upset & disappointed in myself and it's so hard to not do these things with him cause I trust him so much. But we're only teenagers and I dont want to do it, plus its against my religion. He never forces me to do anything, I just do it... help =[ (link)
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First of all, let me congrat you on being in a relationship for 7 months and not having sex with your boyfriend because its the social thing to do. Kudos to the both of you. Next, you have boldly stated that your religious, then my next task for you to do is pray about your relationship with your boyfriend. Pray and ask GOD to give you STRENGHT, GUIDANCE, & UNDERSTANDING. Be patient, the answere may not come when you want it to, but GOD is an on time GOD. In the meantime, in between time, avoid if at all possible having intimate moments with him. Another good tactic would try to have your couples' time in well lited areas, where there is alot of people around, if you guys do find yourselves in ackward moments of lust pressure, stop, take a deep breath and laugh. If you guys were mature enough to discuss sex, then I have confidence that the two of you will be mature enough to substain from having sex until both of you are willing and ready for that type of commitment. If all else fails, seek counseling from a member of your church.
Good luck to you.
Littlemiss
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I just met this cute guy at work (lifeguarding) 3 weeks ago. He has started to wrap his arms around my waist, pull my ponytail, save me from the frogs, and just plain old flirt with me. The problem?! He has a girlfriend. Better yet, girlfriend of 6 months. Im a good person and I dont feel its right for me to continue flirting with him if I know he has someone else. But he's not the type of guy to fool around with other girls, I dont know If I should continue to have feelings for him or just forget it because he's just using me, maybe he has feelings for me tho?! ahh help! thanx! xO (link)
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Dont panic, and don't give up. If this guy is openly flirting with you, its a sure sign that he's interested in you. You don't know, maybe this thing with the girlfriend isn't all that. A woman is not gonna want a man that no one else wants. In short maybe he has a friend that's a girl and thats all to it. Answer this, have you seen this girlfriend of he's? Does he show off pics of him and her? If you answered no to either one of those questions, then he's far game.Sweetie, lifes too short for us not to go and get what we want out of it. I say go for him. You never know, he's probably feeling the same for you.
good luck to you.
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ok, where to begin..i have liked a guy for 2 years now..kinda on and off because my friends have tried to convince me that i dont like him anymore, but i end up liking him again b/c he's so funny...he makes me laugh...and fun to be around and hott.lol well anyways, im 15 and never had a bf and hes almost 16, but in the grade above me. i can never stop thinking about him and how much we have in common and just him in general :-)... i used to flirt w/ him a certain kinda way and ive noticed that hes doing the same stuff to me as i did to him, and im catching glances from him (but that could mean nothing).. I just really want to tell him so bad that i like him and i have for 2 years but i dont want it to ruin our friendship that has somewhat built up over the years. i really want to kno if he likes me back but..i dont kno.... If we ever got together i dont kno if i would fit in w/ his other friends, i mean i kno his friends, but i dont think i would belong. Please tell me what i can do! Thanks! (link)
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SSounds like you have the opportunity to have the best of both worlds....a boyfriend and a best friend. I would like to see it go that way for you. You know the secret to excellent relationships are being good friends first because you learn who the person is, the good and the bad, you yourself start to adapt to his mood swings and his habits. Knowing all that you have the power to make a choice to date this guy who makes you feel like your on top of the world. if your into poetry, write him a poem to let him know what your feeling. if your feelings for him are as strong as you say they are, they(your feelings) are already being showed to him and if you guys are around his friends, I'm sure they're seeing them come out as well. First of all your trying to date this guy, not his friends...true their acceptance is very important to you, but who care, your not trying to impress them, your trying to win the heart of the man you like. So babygirl, go for it, write a poem, sing him a song, if you want, make a cd of love songs leading up to your feelings. If this guys is as smart as you think he is, he's gonna get the hint and let him do the rest. If all else fells, buy a new outfit, fix up your hair, and throw yourself at him.
good luck to you.
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0k so i just got back from the beach with 3 of my friends and our other 3 guy friends were there too. we hung out with them alot. one of the guys (lets call him Jimmy) has a girlfriend and they've been going out for like 10 months. i know his girlfriend pretty well and stuff. then one night me and Jimmy were in the lobby while all our other friends were in the bathrooms. we were both on the couch and he leaned it and we just started to make out. hes soooo hott and i wasn't thinking so i just gave in and didn't pull away until like i dunno like 10 seconds? lol yeah so now i feel reallly guilty cause his girlfriend has no idea he did this and they are like in love. i don't want to tell anyone cause it would like RUIN me cause his girlfriend has a lot of friends and so yeah. i dunno if i should tell anyone?? please help! (link)
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Sweetie, don't feel like you can't tell anyone, because the person you relly need to talk about this to is HIM...Jimmy. For some odd reason, the two of you made out and I'm sure you felt something, I could almost guarantee that Jimmy felt the same if not more. I would not advice you to be loose tongue and start to inform your circle of friends about this most exciting incident on your beach trip, but I would strongerly advise you to have a one on one with Jimmy. Now as far as his girlfriend goes....just remeber this...SOMETHINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID.
Good luck to you and congrates on getting some action at the beach.
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Okay, I consider myself kind of pretty. I have had guys admit to like me but I have never had a guy ask me out! Why will the openly tell me what they would like doing to me (sexually) but never have enough courage to ask me out? (link)
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Dearest Single for life,
First of all you must love yourself first before you can start to question another persons' affection for yourself. You willing admited that you are pretty so that a good step in the right direction. Seeing all the excellect things about yourself gives you more courage to not really care of what others think of you sexually or non sexually. These young men that your talking about probably don't like themselves enough to be judged by you or others. Think about it, what type of guy would openly tell you what he wants to do to you sexually and not even try to take the time out of their horny schedule to ask how was your day. Better yet what type of guys would even approached a beautiful young lady such as yourself like that. I would have to say not to pay them any attention because better things are coming your way. I'm sure that these respectable young men like you as a friend so in return, like them back as a friend that you don't wish to have a relationship with. Trust me, not giving it up to them will allow them to know that your a lady and demand to be treated like one. Watch, they will soon start to treat you with the ut-most respect and thats how the courage of them asking you out will come about.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
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I think I love my best friend, but I still kind of like this other guy. I have no idea if I love him as a close friend or more than just a friend. He has a girlfriend, but I just have no idea on how to tell him how I feel about him without becoming all nervous around him. How do I tell him, without getting butterflies in my stomack?
Confused Teen
13, female (link)
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dear confused teen,
sounds like you have a mad case of your first love. of course you love him as a close friend because friends love each other especially if their close. now, what you must do is be the mature one and tell him that you are starting to feel alittle more for him than friendship. be firm in the conversation, but not overly aggressive. be informative, but do not leave important information out such as i like you, you mean the world to me, i can't see my life without you in it....things of that nature. if all else fails, invite this guy friend over and watch a movie...something that has to do with two friends(a girl and a guy) falling for one another. im sure he'll get the hint. you never know, he's probably feeling the same way about you. and yeah, don't let the girl friend that he has now intimidate you, remember you had him first. i have faith in you. you can do it. tell him.
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Do you think that it is wrong to talk to an ex while dating someone else? I am with this guy right now and he doesnt trust me so he went into my cell and checked my text messages and found that an ex had been text messaging me. We are in a big arguement now about weather or not its ok to talk to an ex. Please help (link)
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In my opinion I feel that an ex is an ex for a reason. I think that your boyfriend was totally violating you and your rights by going through you text messages on your cellphone. That's a huge NO NO. But back to the question at hand....The guy you are with, how long have the two of you been together. Another question, the ex, how long have you two been seperated, how long were the two of you together? Maybe your new guy feels that you and ex have unfinish business and not really understanding why you felt you couldn't come to him when you and ex first made contact. THats a good question that you should ask yourself first. I believe that only you know the real true answer. Sweetheart deep in your heart you know what your feeling for the ex and the new boyfriend.....Take charge of those feelings and do the best thing for you. and remember to follow your first mind.
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wat r some songs you recomend? (link)
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Depends on what type of music he/she listens to. you can't really go wrong with what's hot and new on the radio today, check out MTV, MTV2, VH1, and BET. Most importantly, find out what makes him bob his head and ttaps his feet.
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Me and my friend have been like sisters ever since we were 11 years old...we are 18 years old now. We have been through alot together and are closer than we've ever been to anyone else in our entire lives. But none of my friends really like her and i think its because they see something that i dont. they see that shes not really a real friend as they like to say. she is constantly disappearing for days at a time and getting me worried and then calling up and saying she went down to her old neighborhood, where she is up to no good down there. anyways, she was with one of my other close friends for about a month...but the entire relationship was crap. she was never there for him, never really called him, was ditching him all the time, and so on. she finally got the courage to tell him she'd rather just be friends, but all the times she ditched him, me and him would chill. me and him have been friends for about 4 years. now, we confessed feelings for eachother. she was fine with it and didn't care at all since she says she "never really like him" in the first place...she just felt bad breaking up with him. but just last night, she flipped out on me and him saying were "low" and dirty for doing this to her because her and him "just broke up". she said she thinks im just trying to get back at her for things she did to me in the past. it has nothing to do with that! we just want to be happy...and we've always had feelings for eachother but just never said it until recently...but now, i dont know what to do.
ps. i just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years ago last month because he didn't treat me right and we've been through so much pain and i couldnt take it anymore.(me and my friends ex said that we are taking it VERY slow and being friends for now until were both ready to start a relationship...and this guy is amazing ..everything i want..if that helps at all) (link)
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ok sweetie, I know this make seem like a difficult time for you and your circle of friends, but remember this....you have to go through some bad times in order to enjoy the good times. This friend of yours that the two of you are like sisters... you should be the bigger person and talk to her. I don't mean shout it out with her, be the voice of reason and talk to her. Tell her that if she values you alls friendship just as you do, that she needs to be mature enough to listen to you. and you too be mature enough to be a ear for her as well. It sounds like she did have feels for this guy still and it sadden her to see the two of you together. Maybe she felt that you two betraded her behind her back.. be firm and let her know that that wasn't the case...RIGHT?. Anyhoot, this guy and you are doing the right thing by taking it slow. Good, just think, in a year or two, everybody will look back on this and laugh...well lets hope for the best in this situation. If the friendship betwwen the two of you lasted this long, it can stand another few years if not more, like you said, you two have been through alot, anf this is only a test of sisterhood. Hope things work out for eeverybody.
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what should i get my bf for his b-day? (link)
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It all depends on his age. Young men ages 13 to 17 generally would appreciate clothing, music and/or some type of video game (mostly the latest thing on game cube or PS2). Young men ages 18 to 21 generally would prefer their first (if at all) their girlfriend to plan a romantic night of dinner, movie, and love making after wards....but of course you will have to foot the bill. Older men ages 21 and up would demand their first legal drink of alcohol, if they indulge in herbal refreshments....make sure that its the good stuff, of course making love to his girlfriend...which by the way, don't forget to wear the most sexiest bra and thong set in favor of HIS favorite color. if all else fails, sing to him..HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
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