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My best friend kissed me...
I'm 17 and female, and I've known my best friend Thomas for nearly a year. We hang out all the time, even stay the night at one another's houses every now and then.
Well, right now I'm house-sitting for him while he's on a trip. I stayed the night here the other night so I wouldn't have to have my mom drive me over at 7:00 in the morning. So we're up at three in the morning talking about everything, like we always do when we sleep over. And then he kissed me... and told me that he loves me.
I have a boyfriend who I love very much, and I just don't care about Thomas in the way that he cares about me. But I somewhat returned the kiss. As a matter of fact... we kind of kissed a lot. Mostly the sweet, peck type, but a little (and I do mean a little) tongue every now and then. When it was all over and we both regained our senses, I cried. When he said he loved me, I said, "Don't say that." We talked about it a little, but then decided that we'll really have a long talk when he gets back from his vacation.
So I have a few questions. First of all, did I cheat on my boyfriend? I've never done anything like this... I don't know if it's cheating. I don't ever want to tell my boyfriend that it happened -- he'll break up with me and it was all just a huge mistake and I regret that it happened (even though it brought a lot of stuff to the surface -- I didn't even know Thomas liked me). When I talk to Thomas, what should I say? I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I don't want to ruin our awesome friendship. But I want him to know that I don't care about him the way he does about me, and I don't want him to hate me for this. Please help me.
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1.) you did cheat on ur boyfriend but it really was a mistake n you should tell him
2.) just tell him yous are to close and hes your security to run to when you need someone n you dont want to hurt that in any way tell him you dont have any other feelings for him n he'll be more glad your being honest
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yes, you cheated on thomas but i understand he is your best friend and all. but you need to tell your bf that you didn't mean to do any of that. and that you don't have feelings for thomas. that you guys are just friends. tell thomas that you just want to be friends. he'll understand..
Hope I Helped
**KiMi**
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Ok this is a really hard question to answer, you love you boyfriend right? Well you didnt know that your friend Thomas was goin to kiss you, so i wouldnt really call it cheating, but you DID do something with another guy, so i dont know what i would call it, all i know is, if you love your boyfriend then you should be honest with him and your friend. Tell Thomas that you love having his friendship and that you are sorry that you dont feel the same way, tell him you hope that you guys can still be friends and forget about what happend! Im sure it will all turn out ok, we all make mistakes, but we learn from them. Just break it to Thomas nicely because if you two have been friends for a long time, you wouldnt want your friendship to go down the drain for some kiss! Tell your boyfriend that you love him very much, and if you do decide to tell him...make sure to explain yourself well enough for him to understand that it was a mistake. Hope it turns out ok, good luck!
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Hey, yes you did cheat and you need to talk to your boyfriend and thomas about it. If you love your boyfriend as much as you say he needs to know the truth and you need to appologize to him and say that it was just a mistake and that it will never happen again. Talk to Thomas about his feelings for you. Even though you dont feel the same way about him im sure that you care about him a lot as a friend. Make sure he knows that you care about him to its just not as a boyfriend. It will hurt him but its better that he knows then leading him on and not talkin about it at all. I hoped I helped! Rate me !
:->Michelle
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yah, its kinda odd a 13 yo's tryin to help,, id say you didnt cuz he kissed you, and when you talk to Thomas just tell him you wanna be friends and maybe you could hang out more often..
if he loves you hell still want to be your friend,, and (in my opinion) you should tell your b/f and say something like "but i didnt kiss him back" or somn,, chances are your b/f would believe you,, but b4 you think of/tell him, think how long hes been your b/f,, AND if a girl kissed him, would you wanna know????
hope this helped!
~!~*~jenna-skye~*~!~
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You didnt really cheat on your boyfriend. I dont think you should tell your boyfriend though he might take it the wrong way. You should tell Thomas that you dont love him like you do you love him like a brother not a boyfriend and that you just wanna be friends. And also tell him that i dont wanna ruin our friendship over this and that your really sorry that you dont like him like he likes you.
Hope that helps
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Well, I'd like to reassure you that you did NOT cheat on your boyfriend, at least in my opinion. Being good friends for an a while will develop deeper feelings for one another. It could develop mutually, or in this case, one or the other develops deeper feelings. Your short time with each other could mean that you are both very comfortable around each other. Or you both like each other, but since you already have a boyfriend, it can't be possible. (I'm saying that you could like him subconsciously)
When Thomas said that he loved you, well, it could be true. I'll give you an example. I've been best friends with this guy for over 3 years. (I'm male too) I love him like he was my brother. If he was a female, I could fall in love.
Thomas could have fallen in love with you because... Well, why do you and your boyfriend go out with each other? Because of similar intrests and physical attraction I assume. Well, why are you friends with Thomas? I'm assuming because of similar intrests and maybe more.
Thomas just developed an attraction to you while you haven't. That could change. You could end up liking him, and he not liking you anymore.
When you do talk to Thomas, just be honest with him. But DO NOT say that you "don't care about him the way he does about you" If you think about it, It does sound hurtful (ex. "I don't care about you...) Instead, you should say, "I like you a lot, but you're like a brother to me. I don't want to ruin our friendship." or something along those lines. He'll feel bummed out for awhile. (I know, I was in a similar situation, except a bit more complicated...) But he'll get over it eventually.
I really hope I helped! Good luck! Oh, and don't tell your boyfriend!
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To answer your first question about cheating on your boyfriend, in my opinion, I would say yes you did. I know this may not be something you really want to hear, but you did. Now I am sure your probably feeling like this is not a good idea to tell your boyfriend, and this I mus t agree with you. You and your boyfriend have a special kind of love, very different from you and Thomas. Don't jeapordize that. Let me tell you something about this little subject of confessing to your boyfriend. They say it's good for the soul and things will be greater later, but thats, BULLSHIT. This boyfriend of yours if he's a real man will leave you and not forgive you because you broke the trust between the two of you. And you know if the shoe was on the other foot, you would leave him in a NewYork minute. Being 17 your maturing into a woman, and this is the kind of stuff, us as woman have to deal with wheter, were dating, wngaged, or married. Ok, to what you really want to get advice on is talking this incident over with Thomas when he comes home. I think that that is a great ideal. Thomas has developed feels for you in ways you probably couldn't image. Thats' what happen to boy-girl relationship that is a close friendship. When you kissed him with little to no tongue.....did you feel anything? If you did, you need to make a choice either pursue this new direction in the friendships with Thomas, or tell him firmly that you need time alone. Alone meaning, no physical contact, no phone conversations(including text messages). Now on the flip side of that, if you did feel something for Thomas and you decide to pursue this new direction of your friendships, then you are obligated to tell your boyfriend that you are going through a crisis in life right now and you need time alone. You don't have to tell him about this kiss with Thomas, but you can get away with telling him that it's not him, it's you and it's bad timing right now for him in your life and you need time to yourself to get yourself together. If he questions you about how much time you need, tell him, there is no set time, if he loves you, then he'll be patient. If you decide to enlighten Thomas that you do not have the same feelings for him like he does you, then be the friend I know you are and try not to be too brutal with it, remember that Thomas has feelings too. If this is the tactic you decide to take, be firm and attentive to respond to anything he may have to say. You said you don't want to ruin your awesome friendship....Then don't.
Good luck to you and your decisions.
Littlemiss
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Aight, I've kinda been in the position of your boyfriend and I'd have to say that you should tell him, because honesty is the best way and trust is a big thing in relationships. For the second question, it sounds like you do have some sort of feelings for Thomas, but if you don't think you feel that way about him then again, you have to be honest. You can't lie just to make other people feel better...you have to do what's right. Whatever you do, don't lead Thomas on...that's like the worse thing to do.
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Well if i was you i would tell ur boyfriend and tell him if you lik him or ur bestfriend
hope i helped
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