about

I'm a 34 yr old mother of 2 teens. My daughter is 14, my son is 13. I've been through a lot and seen a lot. I'm very giving and caring. I like to share my advice and experiences with people. I like helping people. Feel free to ask anything I will help answer your questions if I can. If not I will also let you know that I just don't know. I'm very honest, even when the truth hurts.

advice

Ok....well me and my friends are really tight and all (thats what i thought) but like i like one of my friends more then a friend and no one knows that besides my bf Tashnique. And yesturday my sister and her friend were in the lunch room when i was in there and i went to go say Hi and this EX friend named Sade' told the guy i like to say "your sisters better then you" and "id rather go out with your sister then you" and all that and he did and then my best friend was like "Sade' told him to say that" and i was like "f**k her!" and then shes always talking behind my back but shes like "you need to stop talking behind people's backs" and i was like wtfe and me and my bff dont like her anymore. What should i do?

The good news is that you will graduate one day and not see her again! In the mean time I think you should "Kill her with kindness" Don't be mean. That makes you just as bad as her. I didn't have any sisters. If I did I think she would be my bf. Family bonds can't be broken. When nobody else is there you will always have family. A thought to also keep in mind... if you wouldn't say something to the person's face don't say it behind their backs. There is no guarentee that what you say to your bf or anyone will stay between the two of you. If you wouldn't want someone else to repeat it ...don't say it out loud. Maybe writing in a PRIVATE journal would help get your feelings out. Saying things outloud but to yourself sometimes helps make sense of things. And remember ... you are young what is a big deal today may not be such a big deal in a month.

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there is a guy that i have liked for 2 monthes now and every night he asks me to sneak out with him.....to make out and crap like that and i talk to his friends and i found out that he never liked me but he asked me out 2 weeks ago but the only time he will hang out with me is at night when we sneak out!!!! sometimes i say no but he always says he has a surprise for me which always works but im tired of just talking to him at night i want to hang out with him and talk during the day as well but he wont!!! so i no i should break up with him but i dk!!! please help me!!!

You should go with your gut. If you feel like he's using you and you should break up then do it. If you feel this way now after 2 months it's not going to get better. And if you have to sneak around then you should not be doing it. If you aren't doing anything you shouldn't be then why sneak???

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ok... so i know this is going to be one of the dumbest things you've ever heard... but... my best friend.. idk she doesnt make me feel very good.. she does things that cause me to cut myself.. and she steps all over me.. i bend over backwards to try and make sure she's happy and everything.... but she just doesnt seem to appreciate me.. i'm a really pure hearted girl.. and it's gotten to the point where she could slap me and say she hated me and i'd still love her.. kinda like when you hear about those guys that beat there wives and they stick arond and dont rat on there husbands.. i know its dumb.. but idk... im not happy in life... she's made me weak and insecure... she swore she hated this girl amanda....those two hated eachother for the longest time... and now its like nothing happened and they're best friends again.... i hate it.. and all of my friends say to just forget my bf because she isn't worth it.. but no one understands how hard that is for me..... i know i shouldnt stick around... but gosh.. its so dang confusing.. please help me anyone!

5's to anyone that helps...... :'(

I can't imagine what you must be going through. Good friends are hard to find. Sometimes it may seem like a hard thing to go through to let someone go. I think in the long run you will be better off to have a TRUE friend than this girl. A TRUE friend would be equally as nice to you as you are to her. Maybe over the summer you could try spending less time with her and more time with your other friends. Then it would not seem like such a dramatic change in your life to not be friends with her. Find other things to do with your time besides spending it with her. It sounds like her and Amanda are starting a new friendship and maybe you should do the same. Don't worry about her feelings... she has Amanda to lean on. You need someone you can lean on too. Maybe this will at least put a smile on your face. "A good friend will come bail you out of jail. A TRUE friend will be sitting beside you saying "Darn we messed up" Hope I could help!
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here is what he said. but first of all...sorry about some of the language he says. we are emailing eachother back and forth...and when i got a new email from him..this is what it said. i have nooo idea what to say back to him! i dont want to just say sorry...that would be like i dont really care or something. i do care..and i feel really bad...and i like him. could you please give me any ideas on what to say to him? dont tell me to tell him that i like him though..im not ready yet. please help!

i found out that my dad hates jews and gays soo we got in a fight cause my singer is bi. now i'm grounded for the weakend and have to quit the band. i told nhim i can't listen to a nazi. then i told him to fuck off. now i'm in my room all pissed off. what a fucker.

you see the whole problem started 'cause my dad said to be home at 10:00 P.M. but al myfriends son't have to be home till midnite or 2:00A.M. so i don't want to say"hey guys. we can't go out cause i have to be home in 10 minutes." Then they would hate me. soo i figure to tell my parents that i can get a ride home but i'll be alittle late. which is true. then i have to wait for kyle to want to go home which is later than he said originally said. so now i have to keep waiting. as it turns out, i end up being 2 hours late. but i kept my parents updated on the time i would be home at. so i finally get home as soon as posable and explain that i tried to get home as soon as posable and i get grounded cause "i'm only 14 and have too many freedoms. I had to wait till i was in college till i could stay out after midnite. you should be lucky. there will be times when you can stay out late but you;re too young now."my alchoholic dad says
I said "Brad is 14 and his parents let him stay out past 2. his parents are cool about it."
My dad responded "i don't care what his parents said. that shows that they don't care about him. we are only strict because we love you."
I screamed "that just shows that they want him to be happy. you keep enbarising me in front of my friends. now ther're probably making fun of me and then what friends will i have? i might as well cut my wrists now. maybe i'll have friends in heaven. maybe some one will care for em there. maybe i won;t have the constant embarasment of having to tell my friends that we can't do anything cause i have to be home earlier than everybody else. maybe if you could let me go to someone's house without you having to call the people and talk about what's going tho happen there and talk to my rides to see if there certain or not, then i wouldn't have the embarassment of having tell them that my mom doesn't trust me. she'll never trust me. she thinks i'm lying about having a ride home." if i call her and say that a ride has changed then she thnks i never had a ride at all. it's like no matter what i do, she thinks i'm doing something wrong. she has to constantly check up on me and know a number to reach me on. if we go to some one's house then she wants me to call her on their phone so she has their number on coller i.d. i ususally don;t even go to a house. this time, we ended up walking around the neighborhood and just talking.
"why didn't you call me and give me the number?' my mom bitches at me.
"we didn;t even go to their house. we just hung out outside."
" why didn't you call us to tell us that you didn't have a number to be reached at?" she's still bitching
"you know i can always be reached on my cell phone." i say calmly.
" you know i don't remember that number."
i say" i can't help that you keep lossing all the papers you write it down on. you need to be more organized. then you can talk to me again."
then she grabs another beer and watches t.v. with my drunk dad.


what the fuck do you say to make someone believe you? what do you do when some one's mind is made up before hearing the real story? all they do is jud my friends by how many piercings do they have? or how does their hair look? or what color clothes do they wair? and what kind of music do they listen to. all they hear are the rumors. please stop spreading rumors. all they do is destroy reputations and destroy families. all the stereotypes need to stop. all they want do is hurt reputations.if you have a problem with some one then just say it to their faces. don't spread rumors.

so here i am. sitting in my room. depresed and pissed. wondering if in heaven, some one would give a shit about me. Hell doesn't even sound to bad right now.i can feel God getting further and further away from me. this is my own personal hell.

You may want to start by telling your friend that he is 14, he is a minor, and he does have to listen to his father. You may also want to look for a friend that has more respect for his parents. If he treats the people that take care of him this way how is he going to treat others? If he believes in God he needs to get a Bible and get back to the basics. God commands us to obey our parents first of all. God also tells us that our bodies are temples and we should love ourselves. His friends with piercings aren't following that. If his family believes in God maybe you could suggest that they get counceling from the preacher. Actions speak louder than words. He speaks of God but the way he is cussing and disrespecting his parents doesn't show true belief. I think his parents are absolutely right that "If the other parents really cared, they would not allow underage children out until 2 AM." His parents need to know of his wareabouts. If they have to work they can't sit up until 2 to make sure he is home safe. One day your friend will be a father and will have a definate understanding of what his father is trying to tell him to keep him safe. When I was that age I was determined that my kids will do whatever they and I will trust them. Well I have a 13 and 14 yr old. They don't do whatever they want. I know where they are and what they are doing at all times. And they do not go anywhere that I can't check up on them. Hope this helps. I'm here if you need to talk.
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i have a friend who i really seriously think i love.i've never felt quite this way about any other guy before.he's my best friend and he says he doesnt like me that way but sometimes it seems like he does.we flirt and talk all the time and he's always there for me.i just dont understand.he got hurt really bad because some girl broke his heart.this happened about a year or so ago and he never sees her anymore because she goes to another school.i think he's just afraid of going out with me because he doesnt want us to have something happen and break up and then never be the same friends we were before we started going out.im not sure tho.please help me out with what i should do.thank u.

~*~confused~*~

I had a few friends I felt that way about. One friend I had been friends with since kindergarten. After graduating we became more than friends. It ruined everything! We haven't spoke in 14 yrs. I had another friend that I'd been best friends with for almost 7 yrs. We dated for 2 months haven't spoke in 10 yrs. If you have a friend that you feel that close to, keep it that way. Good friends like that are hard to find. Boyfriends come and go.. true friends will not go any where. Hope I've been of help
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i told my boyfreind if he is not going to be there for this second child then get out i already have a two year old boy with him and my feeling for him have changed i care for him i am starting ti think i don't love him any more is that a normal thing to go through while you are pregnanat

You have a lot of different feelings when you are pregnant. Is he not treating you right? Is he acting like he isn't going to help? It is really hard to raise kids on your own. I did it, and a lot of women do. I also came from a home where my parents stayed together for 26 years. In the 18 yrs I was at home I don't remember my parents saying I love you or hugging or kissing. It's hard to grow up in a home with no affection. I'm also divorced. I didn't want my kids growing up in a house with no love. My ex and I agreed when we divorced that we would not fight in front of the kids or talk badly about each other in front of them. They have seen that mom is happy and dad is happy, but mom and dad weren't happy together. Does that make sense? Most of all they know they are loved. It's hard to keep a relationship together. It takes giving and patience. Sometimes things that seems like an issue today may blow over and not be such a big deal. Are your issues worth your kids growing up without mom and dad together?? Are your issues something that will not ever be resoved?? If you can't resolve these issues then don't stay together for the sake of the kids. Growing up in a home with fighting and no love is not good. Hope this helps
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i have a best friend that keeps liking the same guy i do!!! and then when i go out with that guy and i really really like he she takes him from me!!! i was going out with this guy for almost 3 monthes going on 4 and she said to him that she thinks its a great idea for them to go out and instead of me and him going out soo he thought about it and he said oh what the hell and did!!! soo they only went out behind my bak for 3 weeks at least or i hope thats as long as they went out!! well my parents and her parents are like best friends and she always has to come over and i dont want her to at all!!! but there is nothing i can do i told my parents and their like well just put up with her just tonight over and over again!!! ok then she lies to much and gets me in trouble!!! then she thinks she is sooo much better than me in vball and she didnt even make it last year!!! so im just soo god damn tired of her!!! she will never leave me alone i tell her i hate her but she starts buying me things to suck up to me for what ever she has done!! which makes me even more angry!!! waht am i suppose to do?! i mean i have tryed everything but its not working!!!

First of all... she is not your best friend. When you love someone you don't hurt them in any way. And she keeps hurting you over and over. I think you should try talking to your parents again. If that doesn't work.. don't accept her gifts. Don't answer her calls. Your parents might be friends but that doesn't mean that you and her are compatible. I wish there was an easy answer. It makes it hard if your parents are friends. I had a cousin that I was made to hang out with. She did things and I got the blame. Eventually we grow up and went our separate ways. She is on her 3rd husband and 3 babies with different dads. Be the better person and stand up for yourself when she is lying. Liers don't like to be confronted. When she is lying and getting you in trouble confront her in front of your parents and hers. Don't let her know ahead of time what you are going to do. It's harder to change lies on the spot. Don't cover for her be honest. It might be hard at first but eventually she will get the hint.

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i know you might not want to answer this....but i found this website and i want to know something...

have you ever sucked your husbands penis? because he is pressuring me too and i dont know what to do...

its not that i do not like him, cus man is he a sweetie, okay

please, help me answer this question

confused in colorado

That needs to be a personal choice. What are YOUR feelings on this?? (Men basically have the same opinion on the subject)Do you feel this is something you want to do? Do you feel like it is something nasty and you don't want to? You should not do this because he is pressuring you into it. This should be something BOTH of you are willing to do. If you really don't want to DON'T. It could be something you could try and if you don't like it don't do it again. Like I said it's a personal choice for you. I've got friends that do and friends that don't. If he is any kind of a man he WON'T pressure you. Communication is very important. Let him know why you don't want or what your fears and thoughts are. Hope this helps.
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well....i've been having such a hard time lately....i've been sooo stressed out with school and stuff.i know its almost over but its really a pain.in school today i wasnt acting myself and everyone was asking me what was wrong.im not even sure what is wrong.my mom constantly hassles me to the point of my wanting to stab myself and im really afraid that if i dont do sumthing soon them im gonna end up killin myself or something.please help me!!!!!!!

Stop and take a deep breath. Your mom loves you. That is the most important thing to remember. Sometimes it doesn't seem like anyone cares.. but the person who cares the most is the one giving you a hard time. That sounds weird now because you are young one day that will make sense. If moms didn't talk to you and get in your business THEN they don't care. Try making up a name and writing a letter to that person. That sounds wierd too but nobody will see this letter and a lot of times writing it down and saying it out loud helps you to make sense of it. Sometimes ladies go through some odd times during PMS... we cry we laugh we have short tempers. And sometimes we just want to cry for no reason. Have a bath and a good cry. Maybe a cup of hot choc. too. I'll listen if you want to write outloud to me. mrk1221@hotmail.com Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary feeling. Don't do that. You have your whole life ahead of you to get an education, have a career and a wonderful family. Your mom loves you and she was your age once. Talk to her, give her a chance.

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i wasnt sure which atagory to put this under but here goes. i have an eating disorder which has made me ill and i cant really eat very much at all and only eat bread now and panic so much when i have to go out and in new situations. My boyfriends birthday is in december and its his 21st so it will be a big celebration with ll his family an friends. i know its far away but ive had this illness for years and never been able to go to resturants and eat stuff cos of panic and i lose my appetite but it will be even worse this time, alot worse. i have huge panic attacks when i have to eat something. i really don know how im going to handle it. my boyfrend is very understanding about my illness and fears but i still have to go to his birhday and he's already said that so does anyone know how i can get through it? please i hope someone can help. thank you x

My first suggestion is that you can't overcome this alone. You need someone close you can trust with what you are going through. You need to take control of your eating disorder first of all. If you can't love yourself how will you be able to accept love and give love? If you are not seeing a dr yet you should or at least a professional councelor. Men will tell you that they understand, most will tell you what you want to hear. You need someone to tell you what you NEED to hear. You have 6 months to work on this. You have to love yourself and believe in yourself to do this. If you start loving yourself you may see things in a new light. Think about it like this... You love your boyfriend and you would not keep food from him right? You wouldn't starve your pets right? Love yourself and take care of yourself. I'll be hear to listen if you want to talk again. I was anorexic for a long time. I'm still struggling. But I have 2 kids and if I don't take care of me I can't take care of them.

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My hair has been extra tangled lately. In the morning it takes 10 minutes to brush out my wet hair. Can anyone suggest some products to cure this problem. My first thought was Johnson & Johnson's No More Tangles shampoo, but isn't that for little kids?

Don't brush! Use a wide tooth comb. Start at the bottom and work your way up. Leave in conditioner works well. Be sure to look for something light as to not get a build up and look greasy. READ labels... it's very important.

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Okay so, my girlfriend has been going through these wierd stages where she is like so in love with me, then randomly not wanting anything to do with me, or being bored with me or something. She is leaving in two months, and I don't know how she feels, and I am afraid to say somethign because I now have no idea what kind of mood she is in, and I love her so much, with all of my heart, she is the world to me, and I could never do anything to hurt her! What should I do or say? I need help!

Communication is a very important part of any relationship. You need to talk to her. If she is back and forth with her feelings, she may not be as into you as you are with her. Maybe you could say to her that you really have strong feelings for her and are not wanting to hurt her in any way. That you are uncertain of her feelings and with her leaving you need to know where you stand. If she is still not giving you straight answers I would feel that she doesn't have the same feelings and you should move on.

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