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please help...i dont know what to say to my friend
here is what he said. but first of all...sorry about some of the language he says. we are emailing eachother back and forth...and when i got a new email from him..this is what it said. i have nooo idea what to say back to him! i dont want to just say sorry...that would be like i dont really care or something. i do care..and i feel really bad...and i like him. could you please give me any ideas on what to say to him? dont tell me to tell him that i like him though..im not ready yet. please help!
i found out that my dad hates jews and gays soo we got in a fight cause my singer is bi. now i'm grounded for the weakend and have to quit the band. i told nhim i can't listen to a nazi. then i told him to fuck off. now i'm in my room all pissed off. what a fucker.
you see the whole problem started 'cause my dad said to be home at 10:00 P.M. but al myfriends son't have to be home till midnite or 2:00A.M. so i don't want to say"hey guys. we can't go out cause i have to be home in 10 minutes." Then they would hate me. soo i figure to tell my parents that i can get a ride home but i'll be alittle late. which is true. then i have to wait for kyle to want to go home which is later than he said originally said. so now i have to keep waiting. as it turns out, i end up being 2 hours late. but i kept my parents updated on the time i would be home at. so i finally get home as soon as posable and explain that i tried to get home as soon as posable and i get grounded cause "i'm only 14 and have too many freedoms. I had to wait till i was in college till i could stay out after midnite. you should be lucky. there will be times when you can stay out late but you;re too young now."my alchoholic dad says
I said "Brad is 14 and his parents let him stay out past 2. his parents are cool about it."
My dad responded "i don't care what his parents said. that shows that they don't care about him. we are only strict because we love you."
I screamed "that just shows that they want him to be happy. you keep enbarising me in front of my friends. now ther're probably making fun of me and then what friends will i have? i might as well cut my wrists now. maybe i'll have friends in heaven. maybe some one will care for em there. maybe i won;t have the constant embarasment of having to tell my friends that we can't do anything cause i have to be home earlier than everybody else. maybe if you could let me go to someone's house without you having to call the people and talk about what's going tho happen there and talk to my rides to see if there certain or not, then i wouldn't have the embarassment of having tell them that my mom doesn't trust me. she'll never trust me. she thinks i'm lying about having a ride home." if i call her and say that a ride has changed then she thnks i never had a ride at all. it's like no matter what i do, she thinks i'm doing something wrong. she has to constantly check up on me and know a number to reach me on. if we go to some one's house then she wants me to call her on their phone so she has their number on coller i.d. i ususally don;t even go to a house. this time, we ended up walking around the neighborhood and just talking.
"why didn't you call me and give me the number?' my mom bitches at me.
"we didn;t even go to their house. we just hung out outside."
" why didn't you call us to tell us that you didn't have a number to be reached at?" she's still bitching
"you know i can always be reached on my cell phone." i say calmly.
" you know i don't remember that number."
i say" i can't help that you keep lossing all the papers you write it down on. you need to be more organized. then you can talk to me again."
then she grabs another beer and watches t.v. with my drunk dad.
what the fuck do you say to make someone believe you? what do you do when some one's mind is made up before hearing the real story? all they do is jud my friends by how many piercings do they have? or how does their hair look? or what color clothes do they wair? and what kind of music do they listen to. all they hear are the rumors. please stop spreading rumors. all they do is destroy reputations and destroy families. all the stereotypes need to stop. all they want do is hurt reputations.if you have a problem with some one then just say it to their faces. don't spread rumors.
so here i am. sitting in my room. depresed and pissed. wondering if in heaven, some one would give a shit about me. Hell doesn't even sound to bad right now.i can feel God getting further and further away from me. this is my own personal hell.
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listen, your parents because fucking idiots is the worst reason to kill yourself... ok? don't let them screw up your life or take it away. you can't change your parents beliefs, so don't even try. get over this fight with your parents... once they stop being mad at you explain that you dont lie to them it would make you feel horrible. don't ask for your curfew to change... but when there's somewhere you really want to go and it lasts later than 10'o clock, ask your parents specifically for that time. maybe writing your cell # on a piece of paper on the fridge would help. as far as your friend goes, sympathize and explain that the same thing is happening to you. assure him that it doesn't make him a bad person, it's just his father has weird beliefs. say that you care about him just as much, and that he shouldn't let his fathers prejudice's affect him.
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So you can't stay out past 10:00. Thats curfew for 14 year olds here, you will be escorted home by the police if they see you out past 10:00.
So your parents want to know where you are. A lot of kids parents do that, they want to make sure you are safe, because if you talk like that around them "Oh im going to cut my wrists and make friends in heaven" Then they may think you joined a damn cult or something. Believe it or not, you more than likely caused all of your own problems by incessant overreacting.
Just chill out, you don't have it that bad. And if it still gets you horribly angry. Go live in a tent in mexico.
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You may want to start by telling your friend that he is 14, he is a minor, and he does have to listen to his father. You may also want to look for a friend that has more respect for his parents. If he treats the people that take care of him this way how is he going to treat others? If he believes in God he needs to get a Bible and get back to the basics. God commands us to obey our parents first of all. God also tells us that our bodies are temples and we should love ourselves. His friends with piercings aren't following that. If his family believes in God maybe you could suggest that they get counceling from the preacher. Actions speak louder than words. He speaks of God but the way he is cussing and disrespecting his parents doesn't show true belief. I think his parents are absolutely right that "If the other parents really cared, they would not allow underage children out until 2 AM." His parents need to know of his wareabouts. If they have to work they can't sit up until 2 to make sure he is home safe. One day your friend will be a father and will have a definate understanding of what his father is trying to tell him to keep him safe. When I was that age I was determined that my kids will do whatever they and I will trust them. Well I have a 13 and 14 yr old. They don't do whatever they want. I know where they are and what they are doing at all times. And they do not go anywhere that I can't check up on them. Hope this helps. I'm here if you need to talk.
Please rate!
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You are the one who's getting away from God. Why not pray to him so that he can enlighten your mind. I don't care if you'll give me a low rating but somehow getting angry at your mother and father for caring for your safety and making sure that you're all right is unjustified. True, they have their vices but they care for you and i'm sure they don't want you to be like them when you grow up. God does care for you and is with you even till now. Why don't you explain to your mother in a sincere and right way that you're not doing anything bad or whatever. If your mother says it's ok. for you to go past midnight when you're college then don't argue with her. Instead, show to her even as early as now that you can be trusted to go out past midnight even if you aren't a college yet.
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